Tales of the Unexpected

I ought to warn you, if you haven't read any of my stories,

that you may be a little disturbed by some of the things

that happen in them.

When I'm writing a short story, I'm haunted by the thought

that I've got to hold the reader's attention

for literally every second.

Otherwise, I'm dead.

The one you're going to see now is the first

of a series based on stories that have

taken me 35 years to write.

I find them difficult to do well,

so I work slowly, about two a year.

This one was filmed in its real setting, Jamaica.

I hope you like it.

Excuse me, please.

Yes?

Do I have your permission to sit here?

Yes, of course.

Please, go ahead.

Thank you very much.

Ah.

Ah, splendid day, is it not?

Mm.

But then, of course, they're all splendid days here

in "Hamaica."

Jamaica.

Yes, indeed.

Who, might I ask, are all these people here?

They are not hotel people, no?

No, they're--

I think they're American sailors.

Or rather, they're, uh, learning to be sailors.

Well, I heard that their training ship arrived

in port yesterday evening.

I expect this is their period of, uh, rest and recreation.

You OK?

Yes, I'm fine.

Would you like something to drink?

Good idea.

How 'bout a rum punch?

Lovely.

What's your name?

Cathy. What's yours?

Tommy.

You are here on holiday perhaps?

Yes.

And you?

No, no, no.

It was my wife's idea.

She insisted on it.

Forced, as it were.

Is this chair taken?

No. - Do you mind if we use it?

Of course not. Go ahead.

Thank you.

Cigarette?

Cigarette?

Oh, thank you very much.

Here.

Let me give you a light.

That will not work in this wind.

Sure it'll work.

It's America.

It always works.

Always?

Sure.

Never fails.

Not with me, anyway.

Well, well, so you are saying this famous lighter never

fails.

Is that what you are saying?

That's right.

It never fails.

I promise you.

It never fails.

One moment, please.

Now just one moment.

Shall we not perhaps have a little bet on that?

Shall we not make a little bet on whether your lighter lights?

Sure.

I'll bet.

Why not?

You like to bet, huh?

Sure, I'll always bet.

I like to bet, too.

Why don't we have a good bet on this thing, a good, big bet,

hmm?

Wait a minute.

I can't do that.

I'm not rich.

But I will bet you $5 or $10, or whatever

it is down here in local money.

Now listen to me.

We are going to have some fun.

First, we make the bet.

Then we go to my room here in the hotel where there is no

wind, and I bet you cannot light this famous

lighter of yours 10 times consecutively

without missing once, huh?

I'll bet I can.

Good, fine.

Shall we agree on the bet?

Sure.

Now you listen to me.

Outside the hotel is my car.

It's a very fine car, "Haguer"--

a Jaguar.

Hey, now, wait a minute.

I can't put up that kind of stake.

Well, this is crazy.

It's not crazy at all.

You strike your lighter successfully 10 times

one after another, and the Jaguar is yours.

You like to have this Jaguar, no?

Sure.

I'd like to have a Jaguar.

Who wouldn't?

All right, fine, we have a bet.

I put up my car.

And what do I put up?

I never ask, my friend, to bet something you cannot afford.

Do you understand?

Then what do I bet?

I make it very easy for you, yes?

OK.

You make it easy.

Some small thing you can afford to give away,

and if you did happen to lose it,

you do not feel too bad, right?

Such as what?

Such as the little finger of your left hand.

My what?

Yes.

Why not?

You win, you take the Jaguar.

You lose, I take the finger.

I don't get it.

How do you mean you take the finger?

I chop it off

Chop it off?

Oh, no.

No.

Um, that's a crazy bet.

Let's just make it $5 or $10.

Well, well, well, I do not understand.

You say that your lighter will light,

and yet you do not agree to my bet.

So, we forget it, yes?

Might I have a light, please?

Oh, sorry.

I forgot you didn't have one.

Thank you.

You are from the training ship, I expect?

Yes.

Enjoying it here?

It's pretty nice.

Nice people.

Cheers.

Now just let me check up on this bet of yours.

You say we go up to your room, and

if I make my lighter light 10 times running,

I win your Jaguar.

If it misses just once, then I forfeit the little finger

of my left hand.

Is that right?

That is the bet.

You know, I have studied you--

briefly, I admit-- but, uh, the way you

hold the lighter, for example.

Obviously, you are right handed.

So what use is the little finger of your left hand?

If you lose, you don't lose much.

If you win, fine Jaguar.

But I think you are afraid.

What do we do if I lose?

Do I hold my--

my finger out while you chop it off?

No, no, no, no.

That will be no good.

You might be tempted to refuse to hold it out.

No.

What I should do, I should tie your hand to the table

before we start, and then I stand there

with an knife ready to go chop the minute your lighter misses.

Are you serious?

Well, he's fine, healthy young man, no?

One quick chop is all right.

No worry.

He's all right.

Or maybe you don't lose.

Maybe you win fine automobile instead.

What year is your car?

Excuse me.

I, uh, I don't understand.

What year?

How old is the car?

Oh, it's very new.

I buy only a few months ago.

But I see you are not a betting man.

Most Americans are not.