Party Down

Did you measure the tables?

I'm I crazy or do the 6x10 tablecloths look way too big.

No...

rented.

Come on man, fan the napkins! People waited 20 years for this.

Make it special.

- Make it special. - These will make it special.

Fan, fan!

Yeah, that seemed to work.

- Ron, this isn't you're... - There you are.

- Melinda. - Problem.

The ice machine is running slow

we need to buy ice, and there's no freezer space...

No, no, not to worry we have backup.

We have dual-cycle a hoshizaki crescent cuber. Best in the world.

So you can just... chill.

If you have a backup of your schedule,

- that would be great. - That'd be a big help.

Excellent.

Actually...

Ron, the name tags are

just for the people at the reunion.

Yeah, I know.

I sat behind you for two years in social studies.

Oh my god, the back of your hair still looks wonderful.

Ron Donald.

I coughed a lot.

I got cutest guy, cutest couple, I got

best hair, best smile of course.

And I would've got prettiest eyes

but they canceled the category, 'cause some dildo got blinded at the prom,

lame.

You must be Harry. I'm Bobbi st. Brown.

Constance's roommate.

What happened to Constance?

She's with some guy Zoltan who

promised to make her a big star in blurvistan or something.

I know, sounds like escort work.

Anyway I bet Constance that I could inspire you

and get you back acting before she got back.

So let me take a look at you, okay.

Now your face is kind of pinched

and forward...

like a sphincter. You know it's very...

- Tight. - It's tight and it's dark.

- We can change all that. - Yeah, good luck.

- I'm not really in the acting b... - Not.

- Can't use that word, it's negative. - Okay.

I sensed that about you.

And that's why I brought you some positivity.

Indian scientists they tape recorded

these dolphins laughing.

And it turns out it's the happiest sound on earth,

scientifically proven.

Let me see it.

You gotta smile fifty times a day,

so no excuses go ahead. Let's see you do one.

Okay, what did you bet Constance?

- Ten dollars. - Cause actually,

I'm moving back home with my parents.

So,

nice meet to you.

Hey did you say 50 times? Cause I always thought it was 90 times.

90 would make you go insane.

Sounds like regular fuckin' dolphins.

You're not a dolphin scientist?

Jim Sledge, wrestling champion.

Came out senior year, big scandal, big scandal.

Denise klinger. Yearbook, ritalin.

Jenelle Beismeyer,

Total whore.

Ron, why didn't you just take the day off and go to your reunion?

Are you kidding me

are you kidding me? When I heard party down got this gig

I said I wanna to work it, man.

These people only remember me as "Bluto,"

the wild and crazy guy, and I want show them I got my shit together.

Bluto? Like Popeye?

- No. - Like the fat guy from Popeye?

Were you fat? Were you a fat guy in high school?

No like Belushi's character in "Animal House."

- Okay, I was fun and crazy. - Two gin and tonics, please.

Listen, guys, I know you like

to fool around, but I was wondering if you could maybe,

act like I'm a good boss

and... respect me.

Cause if they see the kind of guy that I am now, the new Ron,

it would really help me out a lot,

the other guys said okay, so...

- Yeah sure, Ron. - Excellent, thank you.

Melinda Weintraub, former class president and reunion coordinator!

And needing a splash of Chardonnay. Splash of Chardonnay.

We're got 30 "won't attends"

who just decided to show up anyway,

and parking, god, it's a nightmare.

A splash, Henry.

The woman said splash that's not a splash, what are you an idiot?

Splash.

Yes sir.

Fresh glass.

Splash, walla!

Thanks, Ron.

- Thank you, guys so much. - Sure.

So what's this bullshit rumor

I hear about you moving home?

It's not bullshit.

No, I mean, you know,

I have no career, I'm...

barely making rent playing as an extra on other people's lives?

Come on, I gotta face reality at some point

Henry, you can't that.

Why, because you need my shoulder to cry on

and my amusing asides to breakup the boredom of your day?

No, just... you can't move back in with your parents like...

- Who does that? - Cause you'll miss me too much?

Is that why?

Joe Spanelle! Dave Griggs,

how's your drink? You almost done? What do you need, scotch and soda?

Hey Bobbi, scotch and soda, asap.

Hey, Eddie, Steve-o, Lorraine.

How's it going?

How have you guys been?

Alice, how's that pilaf?

Firm?

What have you guys been doing for the last 20 years?

Twenty years, oh my god.

You're not eating your chicken. When did you serve yourself? Two?

Five? Six minutes ago?

Come here. We've got a situation.

How many cans are you burning per chafer?

- What? - Cans. Hot cans. How many you got

- burning per chafing unit? - Are you talking about

- the sterno things? - Correct.

How many cans are you burning per chafing unit?

- I have no idea. - This is what I need, okay?

Minimum of two per casserole or three for a one-porsh.

- I have no idea what you're saying. - Please, please.

Right on captain. I'm gonna go do what you said.

We call him captain

here all of us do cause he's our boss and we really respect him.

Wait a minute.

Bluto?

Holy shit.

What're you catering this for unit?

Hardly recognized me, right? Yeah, I'm

I'm team leader, running the show.

Don, last I remember you were puking all over that...

Who wants to talk about the past, it's a reunion, right?

- And it's Ron by the way. - You're thinking of Donnie.

That's it you're buddy Donnie.

Donnie and Ron."Dron"

Oh my god, that guy right over there.

Hey enjoy you're meal everybody, Karen.

Thirty, thirty-one...

thirty-two, that's thirty-two today.

All right.

Did you listen to the dolphins yet?

- I haven't. - Come on, let's do it right now then.

- I don't think I can. - They're such smart animals.

Did you know that dolphins can change a babies diaper underwater?

- I don't thinks that's true at all. - And there's a mug I want you to see.

- A mug? - It's a stallion

and it's on it's back legs

and he's roaring and he says,

"follow your dreams to the max" amen.

Well I would love to do that with you Bobbi

but I promised Ron I wouldn't screw around today,

you know what, that's what your problem is.

You got those like kind eyes,

and you know what Henry, nice guys finish last.

But grab your destiny by the balls

and squeeze hard. I'll bet in you've never done that in your career,

I wouldn't even know where destiny's balls are.

When I auditioned for "cannonball run, two,"

You know what I did with the girl I was up against?

- I don't know if I wanna know. - I hit her with my car.

- You're car? - And I felt right.

A car? Wait, wasn't that Constance?

People, working professionally, like we talked about.

Yeah, no, I know, Ron.

This is where you tell Ron, to shove it up his big asshole.

Cause you got to go look at a mug.

Did you hear all this about Henry maybe moving home.

What?

Shit.

That's really gonna screw up our wedding season.

Bathroom, isn't it...

I thought I saw you dude.

Together again, bro.

- Dron! - Hey Donnie, how you doing?

Good to see ya.

Dude, what are you wearing?

Well, this is my job, yeah I gotta

bunch of people working underneath me I'm team leader.

Team leader? Holy shit man.

You? The big cheese? What are you gonna do?

- Can we eat these? - Yes, it's food.

So... how's it going for you Donnie?

Set up just like we talked about. Like we talked about?

Yeah, that time in the park?