I Got Five on it 3

Brought to you by iRiS | TRiNiTY § Enjoy the flick §

Damn, Mario, can't you hear?

Damn fool, why didn't you knock?

I could've had my dick hanging out or something.

I did knock.

Turn that crap down before you go deaf.

Shit, we can get home invaded right now

and you wouldn't hear nothing.

I could've been getting raped right now.

Who's gonna rape you, fool?

A crack-head?

Ha, laugh it up.

You know I got honeys lining up for me anyways.

Right.

What do you want fool?

Have you seen my Maxim?

No.

How about that old Playboy you had lying around?

Nah man, I threw that out like two weeks ago.

The pages got sticky.

Why, what are you trying to do with it?

You know that chick I had over here last night?

Yeah bro, she looked cool.

She cut out after using the bathroom.

Hey, you ain't blaming me, right?

I went straight to my room.

I didn't cock block.

Nah, it wasn't you.

It's just like, I don't understand.

She was all over me.

She had me hard as a villain,

then she excused herself, used the restroom.

You know, I thought she was gonna like,

freshen up or something.

But then she cut out on me

and left me with this raging case of blue balls.

What?

Bitch didn't even say bye, dude.

That's cold-blooded, fool.

But that's the one thing a girl won't put up with.

A dirty toilet.

Bro, you're the one that pisses all over the place.

Hey, I can't help it if I piss sideways in the morning.

It's the boner, it's not my fault.

It's your crooked dick, bro.

Didn't your parents teach you to piss on the Cheerio?

Piss on the Cheerio, what the fuck is that?

Yeah, piss on the Cheerio.

That's how parents potty train little boys.

They put a Cheerio in there,

and they tell the boys to aim,

make it into a little game.

And that's how you learned?

No man, they were always at work.

My sister raised me.

And they were always too lazy

to show me how to do it right,

so I just learned how to piss sitting down,

the way they did.

Damn bro, you better keep that shit to yourself.

TMI for real.

What do you need the magazines for, anyway?

Fuck, my nuts are fucking killing me right now, man.

I'm just gonna fucking go to the pot and bust a quick one.

Again, homie, TMI, TMI.

Hey, what about those department store ads?

You know, JC Penney, Or Macy's or something.

The department store ads, what the fuck?

The bra ads man, titty.

You got issues, bro.

It's a good things I threw those out.

Man.

Hey, the TV Guide's got some chick on the cover.

Oh yeah?

Where's it at?

It's right there on the side of the couch.

Little couch or big couch?

The big one.

All right

Damn.

Koala, Oprah.

Guess you'll have to do.

God damn it, Chico.

Don't look at my fucking sausage.

Look over there.

All right brown sugar, take me home.

Oh, such nice lips.

Oh yeah.

Ooh, that smile.

Oh yeah.

Fuck yeah.

Come on Mario, get the fucking door!

Oh, lips.

Damn it Mario, get the fucking door!

Someone's getting busy in there.

Don't have time for this, though.

Come on Mario, get the fucking door.

Fuck!

First it's you Chico, now this fucking idiot at the door.

Fuck you Chico.

What?

What is it?

Sorry to bother you, sir.

I just have a letter for Arnie here.

It's certified.

Oh.

I'm Arnie.

Yeah.

Did I catch you at a bad time?

Oh.

Yeah I was kind of busy.

What's all the commotion?

Oh, one of this type of parties, huh?

Sorry to interrupt, fellas.

Oh hell no, hey, you got it all wrong man.

Hey, I don't judge.

To each their own.

What?

That's my cousin.

Your cousin?

Now that's fucking disgusting?

You know what's disgusting?

That fucking shirt is too small,

it looks like a sausage skin!

What the fuck?

He thinks you and I,

ain't nothing like that happen over here, mister post man.

Hey, just close the gate, man.

Sick fuck.

Let's see who this letter's from.

Fuck that mailman.

Man, this kush got me hot.

Where's the remote?

It's right there, behind that pillow right there.

So who's that letter from, anyway?

Shit.

And all the homeboys want to do

is get high.

My neighborhood is bone dry.

Now what I need you to do

is hook me up with some of that rock.

It's from Barney.

"What's up, my Latino partner?

"What it do?

"It's ya boy Bumble representing

"the biggety biggety O out here in seminary school.

"I'm just a week away from gradge-a-natin',

"and becoming a full on fatha'

"They's talkin' bout givin' me my ownes church

"out here in Sac.

"Now that's bummin' me out

"'cause I axed the main padre

"to get me something closer to home.

"East Oakland, or even Hayward.

"Yeah-dad-I-mean?

"Well, we'll see what he says.

"Anyhows, I sent Oscar and Jimmy kite as well.

"Better make sure them ninjas

"put up a pic I sent them

"on the wall at the shop.

"And make sure they's not running it to the ground.

"I'm still an acting partner in it.

"If you see Cheeto, tell my cheesy-feasy folks

"I said what's up.

"I guess you can also says what's up