Party Down

Is there anyone in the hallway?

You okay?

What's this?

It's your job you have to help me with this fucking bullshit...

It's good but I like that one better ,

because I look smarter, what do you think?

I have no thoughts.

Hey Henry, you use to be an actor. Look at these two.

Which one do you think represents me best for drama?

This one which I really like

or this one which makes me look a little smarter

- for some reason. - Which one Henry?

Whoever put out those napkins should have their head examined.

What are you guys doing? Why do you have a picture of John Rivers?

- Why are you sitting there? - I prepped my thing, I'm done.

You're done, you're done? How about you help with the chafers, okay?

How about you... you know what, how about we all help

how about we do a little, teamwork here, okay?

And we prepped trays as a unit.

Together, teamwork.

- You're late. - Okay, this is awesome.

- Why I'm I holding this? - This amazing parlor game.

Is this the one where you make up your own words to a tv theme sound?

Sort of but check it out, okay.

Roman is going to write a number, I'm going to guess it.

Think of the number of times you've seen the movie "300"

- and write it down. - This is bullshit.

Come on I just need the number for the game it's really fun.

- Write down a number. - Come on write it down.

I'm not looking.

Write it down. When you're finished

fold it and pass it to Henry.

Very nice.

Why am I involved in this all of a sudden?

Okay, I lied, this is a test actually to see if you're gay.

Because if you've seen the movie "300" more than once you're gay.

Oh come on, nobody's doing nothing, what the hell?

What's the fascination this? This right here?

Actually can we just hold on to that for a second?

- I need to prep that trays. - Can you read the thing,

Not a chance.

- One thing written on the paper. - It's got to be so important, right?

- What does it say? - It's not important.

- Six. - Dude!

You're gay!

Gay!

So awesome!

Here, this is pretty cool, right?

Come on, come on, come on, come on!

That's good!

You got the kiddy!

The "300" was the number of hippeis, the king's personal bodyguards

So like the king was like really into hot dudes and stuff.

You don't know what you're talkin' about.

I have no idea what the fuck is going on in there.

Yeah well, this is what's going on out here.

That's not weird!

They're elite,

- it makes since they're elite! - Little speedos they wore?

They actually fought bare naked,

so speedos are way less gay.

Hey guys, did you see him?

- Who? - Rick Fox, he's the guest speaker.

On what topic?

How the wealth I made from my pituitary abnormality

relates to the dipshit corporate hell.

I took food to his hotel suite

I saw him, I gotta tell you I got one word for him.

Wow, what?

The dude plays basketball.

That's game for children

Rick Fox? The actor?

Great job, great job! People right?

All right, half hour for refreshments and powertalk,

then we're outside for scavenger hunt!

And don't forget self-review.

This is not a retreat, it's an event!

Right come on!

- Here you go. - Thanks.

- Got any beer? - Yep.

Congratulations.

Yeah, "thinking outside the boxing."

Second place.

Wait a minute,

- "are we having fun yet?" - "Having fun yet?"

Yes that was me.

Emphasis on the was.

What're you do now?

- I'm still trying to figure that out. - Well, we're hiring in sells.

Okay, so in 01, you're 44 percent from the field,

then in 02 you're 42, 03, 42,

and then boom, in 04, you're 39 percent from the field

and 25 percent on three pointers.

Is that a question?

- I'm just saying. - Mr. Fox?

Those pot stickers you asked about are here.

Excuse me.

- That was just in time. - Yeah, that guy, man.

We don't have pot stickers, though, sorry.

What about a book of business jokes?

I wrote my speech thinking these guys did overnight delivery.

Well, what do they do?

"Office management solutions."

I don't know what that is?

I don't either.

Hey, how's it going?

You run all this, huh? It's just great stuff.

Great, inspirational.

Teamworkz fun building. Doug Beaks.

Ron.

And you feel this works for team unity?

Teamwork. Because I'm a team leader myself,

you know, service industry, customer service.

I just feel like they're not functioning as a real team.

You know and it makes me just...

I was wondering if maybe, when you're done here,

you could run my guys through a few drills.

Well, half days start at two thousand dollars.

So, if you're interested, you give me a call, okay?

- Okay, okay. - Okay, great.

Thank you.

Okay, how about this?

"I amd so happy to be here

because I just sat in office management

and I need an office management solution."

That's so terrible, I'm embarrassed that I said that out loud.

How about, "Hey I'm so happy to be here right now,

because I never had any idea how many people it takes

to make a useless product that nobody needs."

- You should be a comedian. - I should be a comedian,

that's what I keep telling my stand-up comedian agent.

Do you have a sit-down comedian agent.

Look at you? I mean, you're the comedian.

Why would anyone pay money to see Rick Fox speak on any topic?

Well, he's a winner, Roman.

And people want hear what winners have to say.

A winner is like arthur C. Clark, or Stephen Hawking or Kafka.

He's just some eight feet tall freak.

When did you turn so completely against Rick Fox?

A, he was over-rated on the Lakers, and B,

and b, he's all over Casey like a fuckin' sleaze.

You're jealous of Rick Fox. That's hilarious.

- Three beers. - Why would I wanna be a 18 foot tall

octopus arm freak?

No, maybe cause he's talkin' to your girlfriend, ugh.

You're a fuckin' infant... and idiot.

Listen up, listen up. We got an hour... get away.

We got an hour downtime... during their scavenger hunt.

I want everyone in the conference room three o'clock sharp. Team meeting.

Why, what... what the fuck?

Why are we having a meeting all of a sudden?

Oh god, can't you just say yes Ron? Okay, I'll be there.

We have a meeting. I'll tell you at th meeting.

Look at that Rick Fox. I can't believe Rick Fox is here.

Part of a championship team.

Got another one?

Okay everybody, grab you partners!

Team scavenge starts in five!

If you don't mind me asking, what do you do?

I'm Sales manager.

Salesman.

I manage the team,

development market research, account,

customer account services... overall, customer care

in every dimension.

Are you... interested in a job at Brandix?

No, I don't know, I mean I guess...

What do you see in your wheelhouse? Going forward?

- I have nothing in my wheelhouse. - How long were you an actor?

Twelve, fifteen years...

Twelve to fifteen years that's experience.

- Really? - Yeah that's sales.

I know, sales is just presentation.

It's playing a part. "Are we having fun yet?" That's sales!

Okay everybody! Come on let's go!

And remember, this is not a retreat.

It's an event! All right, come on! Let's go

I'm not gonna drink and scavenge, because hat would be irresponsible.

- All right, thank you. - I'll keep it on ice.

- C-A-S... E-Y. - E-Y. Yep.

Casey, I'll see you at the meeting?

No idea what he's talkin' about.

Rick Fox is such a cockhole.

I can't believe Casey's gonna fuck him.

Shut up, she's not.

- His suite's down there... so. - Fuck you,

she would never... not in a million years.

Dude that tall, I bet his dick's like two feet long.

Probably like fucking a handsome giraffe.

He could be in one room fucking her

and in the other room reading a magazine.

I bet when he gets a boner it's it's like half a hula hoop.

Dude, why the fuck do you think about shit like that?

Are you are jealous?

No, I don't want a hula hoop dick.

So you're cool when Rick Fox fucks Casey with his two foot giraffe dick...

- you're cool with that? - Fuck you.

Dude you're so jealous, it's lame.

Casey would never go out with a guy like you? Ever.

C'mon, or we're late for the meeting.