The Bellmen

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Today is the day someone will prove to me that they are worthy of not just a paycheck,

but a journey into the unknown.

I have had the honor, with a hard "U,"

- like the Europeans do, "The Honeur." - Hor-uh-ner.

What did I say?

You said "honeur." It's a hard, but also soft. It's a soft "H."

I have had the honor of being bell captain of this fine establishment for 12 years.

And a common bellman for 10 years before that.

You might be asking yourself, "How has this guy had the same job for 27 years?"

I don't need to progress.

I don't need success in the eyes of my father, wherever he is,

I don't need to do things like prove my worth to the love of my life

that I let slip away and would do anything to get back.

And I'm saying anything, like, if she came up on this roof right now...

It's enough chit chat.

Let's do this.

Tyler's right.

The time is nigh.

Mm, mm-hmm. Nice. That'll work.

When we first started, there were 12 potential bellmen in training.

The field is now down to three.

Psst! Steve. Two guys.

I see. As it turns out, there are only two of you.

Whoever passes this competition will enter into final bellman certification,

in which there are three stages to your initiation.

Let's do this!

Oh, dear God.

On your mark,

get set, and go.

Congrats, B.I.T. You've won the elimination round.

Passing the first stage is a pretty big deal.

Be proud, very few make it this far.

Mm-hm.

C'mon. I wanna show you something.

Ah! Hello?

Um. Hello?

Shh. You're safe.

Ow! Someone punched me, Steve.

Tyler, did you punch Josh?

Uh, yeah. Yeah, I did.

Check it out.

The Bellman Hall of Fame.

All the greats are up there.

You know who that is?

Sid Whitman.

He started here as a bellman, just like us.

Worked his way up the ladder and bought the hotel.

Could I work my way up the ladder?

Sure.

How come you never worked your way up the ladder?

Yeah, we're having a good time.

Who's the cactus?

That's Sauggie. Best bellman I ever worked with.

Sauggie once stacked 22 bags on one bell cart.

Still an Arizona record!

Sauggie once revived a woman who passed away in the lobby.

- A week later. - Still an Arizona record.

When Sauggie left, he took a piece of me with him.

Miss you, Sauggie, miss you every day.

Where did Sauggie go?

No one knows.

What?

Nobody knows. He just didn't show up to work one day, no explanation.

The police searched for weeks. He just vanished.

Miss him every day.

It's all right here in the Bellman Handbook .

Go ahead.

So just to be clear, cactus was a revered bellman

who mysteriously disappeared

and his return is something everyone covets.

- Yeah, that's pretty much it. - That's spot on.

- It's the story they're all going with. - 100%

Yeah. Okay. I'm just making sure that's where we're going with this.

Come on, let's get you into uniform.

- Hey, Steve. - Hey.

Here's today's checkouts. There's also a handful early check-ins today.

Last night we were at 80% but tonight's going to be at full capacity.

I can't wait.

Josh, the goal here is to make as much in tips as possible.

Now you achieve that by giving great service 24/7, all right?

Remind the guests if they don't have cash, all good,

they can get Bravo, the new tipping app.

Okay, let's get this party started.

All right!

What was that?

Oh, woah.

- Um, you are a big man. - I'm the runt of the litter.

- You want 1.8 for that property? - Hey, what's up?

Yeah, I can get you 1.2 if you're lucky. Come on in.

- Hi, I'm Rhonda. - One of us is not ready yet, but we'll be ready soon.

Hi, I'm Jesus.

Can we take your bag for you, sir?

Oh!

Sure thing, Mr. Ketterer. He's on his way and he won't be late.

JJ.

Hi, I'm Tyler. I'm your bellman.

Hey, my name is JJ.

You're the bellman.

A couple of houses on the market that have been sitting there for the last year

and you're trying to tell... did you just look at a watch that wasn't on your hand?

I have an itch.

No, man. This is really new to me. But I feel bad.

I usually don't have people help me do it and oh... I can't believe it.

Mother Bear.

- I'll take this here. - No, no. I'm not ready yet.

- How about I just take this one then? - Oh, no. I'm not quite finished.

Rhonda, will you help me fold these?

Oh, I'd prefer not to.

So, can I bring these down for you?

What do you think?

I don't know.

No.

This is greatly appreciated. Have a great rest of your day.

- That's good. - Yeah, okay. Good.

- And that's for you. - Oh, you are too kind.

No, no, no. We got to keep it organized, baby.

- What is two dollars? - Let's get this show on the road.

- Oh, those are binoculars. - Those are binoculars.

Bravo!

Excuse me, could you...

Steve?

Houseman?

Wow, it's me, Dave Myers.

Dick-face Dave.

You used to say that all the...

- Dave Myers. Right. - Yeah.

What... What are you doing here in Tucson?

Spirifresh, the spiritual mind refreshment retreat.

- Sounds refreshing. - Ooh.

So,

can you help me to my room?

Oh, duh.

You know Tucson has the most days of sunshine of any city in the entire US.

And one of the most popular golf destinations.

Steve Houseman, this is crazy.

I mean, I thought you were all like running a tech company...

win... winning Super Bowl's.

Oh, yeah. No.

You've had this job since high school, right?

Yeah, yeah. Good memory.

Still. Same job, still. Still a bellman.

Well actually now, I am the bell captain.

Oh, ahoy!

So, after Kate got pregnant with Maddie, she quit her job at the tech firm.

I make enough money for the both of us, so, and she is such a wonderful mother.

It's really... I just love having a family.

It's like the most great thing you can ever imagine. Ouch!

- No, it's okay. I'm good. - It's a tight squeeze.

You can just put it right there. Just...

Yeah, wow.

Steve.

It's great to see you. You're really good at this, man.

I appreciate it.

Yeah.

- All right, well. Enjoy your stay. - Oh.

Ah, thank you.

Money.

Money. Ooh, money.

Eh. Uh, no.

You know...

- Trying to leave. - Yeah, yeah.

It's a game.

Got a busy day.

Getting weird every time you stop me.

Dave, I've never beat anybody up in this hotel before.

Yeah.

- All right. - Okay.

- See you around, Dave. - Yeah, I'll see you around Dave... Steve.

Kelly.

- I didn't know you'd be... - Oh!

Oh, shh!

Do you need help?

Thanks.

I got to go to the lobby.

- It's that way. - Okay.

Oh, you guys have a bar and grill, nice.

Yeah, you can really get lit there.

- What's your name? - Josh.

I don't care. Don't talk to me. Everything goes through Tyler, okay?

Okay. Yes, sir.

- Just... - Sorry, sir.

I'm with him right now. Hold on one sec. I need the keys to the golf course.

Excuse me?

The keys to the golf course, you're supposed to keep them on hand.

Ah...

Wow, first day and we can't trust you.

- You can pack up your things. - I don't have things.

Even better.

You're fired, you got 10 minutes to vacate the property

or I'll have you arrested for trespassing.

No.

Yes.

Josh, I'm messing with you, man.

I'm Michael, Front Office Manager.

Hey. Josh, I'm B.I.T.

Yeah, I know.

Hey, guys.

Steve, morning, brother.

Met the new guy. Hit him with the classic.