Ni.vu.ni.connu.1958

NEITHER SEEN NOR RECOGNIZED

CALMEST TOWN IN FRANCE

Gentlemen, as long as I'm alive nothing will trouble...

the tranquillity of our little city!

Since the founding of Montpaillard*,

revolutions have come and gone in France.

Thrones have crumbled,

without ever troubling our little city.

That's why these regrettable incidents

which daily ridicule our authority...

Blaireau* again?

Yeah, but I'll get him. - Oh, yeah!

- I'll get him! - Oh, sure!

Authority, respected by all, ☻

is the most praiseworthy endeavour...

What happened to poor Parju?

Blaireau struck again, judge. It's been 20 years.

These incidents must cease!

Already, there are whispers,

The monster Calumny

glares at us with it's greedy eye!

M. Bluette*, how many detainees in your prison?

About a dozen. Great bunch of guys, very calm.

Even the delinquents are calm. This town's asleep.

I'd rather see my town burnt to ashes than prey to disorder.

Oh, that's very good.

Since Henri IV...

Yes.

- Mr. Mayor. -Hello, Parju. What's new?

Nothing, Mr. Mayor.

Well done, see that it stays that way.

- Mayor, I wanted to tell you... -What?

That's Blaireau's doing for sure!

Yes, Mayor.

When will you collar him, Parju.

I'd love to, but he's a cunning devil.

If he was Game Warden, he'd have nabbed you already, Parju!

- Yeah, for sure! - Come on, Parju!

Eyes sharp! Step lively! Vive Montpaillard!

At ease!

TOWN HALL

Hello.

- Hello, Mayor. - Hello.

- Hello, monsieur. - Madame.

Bluette , come on, it's time for bridge. Mr. & Mrs. Chaville are waiting.

- 47. - 48.

- 47! - 48.

Amédée...

Amédée, have a go.

44.

Remember our secret bridge code? -Yes, yes.

2 of clubs means I have a diamond.

- Yes. - And 3 of hearts?

5 of spades.

- Hello, Mayor. - Hello Chaville! Madame.

- Oh! - Oh mon Dieu!

Hello papa, hello mama, hello gentlemen!

Arabella, my little girl!

Come in, M. Bluette .

She's got the devil in her, your girl.

Better marry her off on the double.

At a gallop, my dear fellow.

- Hup! - Oh, Mademoiselle!

So, my dear Dubenoit*, what's new?

The pheasant, Madame... Pardon.

The pheasant, Madame, roasted or à l'orange?

- Blaireau! You too, naturally! - Hunting season's closed.

- No Blaireau, no game! - Who's this Blaireau?

Blaireau... is... well...

Blaireau is Blaireau.

Come here, Pissoff.

I see. A sort of rural Bohemian.

A poacher! There's no room in Montpaillard for outlaws!

- Hello, Countess. -Hello, M. Fléchard. Arabella's waiting for you.

Thank you, Countess.

What's this? "A man loves you from the shadows."

Yes?

- Mademoiselle. - Look who's here, little Chopin.

Mademoiselle, I brought you a Schumann waltz "I'm All Yours".

- Whose? - "Yours", mademoiselle.

Well let's go, old man.

Work it, mademoiselle.

Fingers like little hammers.

Fingers like little hammers!

Oh, pardon.

A little bit for Pissoff,

and a bit for Lucienne. There.

Have a snort, huh?

Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go, hey, Lucienne?

- That's beautiful, Blaireau. - (That's beautiful, Blaireau.)

Voilà, voilà.

You're beautiful, Blaireau.

OK, you already said that.

Very beautiful,Blaireau.

Ah... thanks.

Very beautiful, Blaireau.

Ah, good.

Beautiful, Blaireau.

Yes, old man, that'll do.

- Beautiful, Blaireau. - Hm, I get the message.

Beautiful, Blaireau!

Yes, alright, what... what is it? ... Ah!

Thank you, Lucienne.

Parju, come here, Parju!

Allez, Parju!

Come here!

Parju, Parju. Come, bon appétit, Parju!

Huh? It's all for little Parju.

The king of the piggies.

Et fais bien grâce à Madame*.

Ay, ay, ay!

Listen, listen...

...you this way, me that way...

Come, Pissoff. Come here, Pissoff.

It's Blaireau!

Ah!

Hm... There you are!

Always chasing the girls, huh?

Ah, Parju! Let him pass.

Yes. Hm...

Dunno what's with him these days. I can't hold him back.

I'll get you, Blaireau.

Ooh, Look, a little fly.

Oh, pardon!

"Love devours me.

Three times a week, I suffer a bit less..."

It's idiotic.

Arabella, my love...

All the young men in town are weiners.

- You refused little Colibert. - A weiner!

- And Rissol's son, from the polytechnic. - A weiner!

- Bernard de Montripier... - Him? A plateful of weiners!

Montpaillard lacks men.

-Are you talking about me? -About the whole Municipal council!

Counselor Guilloche, that's the sort of opinion

you print in your rag, "L'Eveil* de Montpaillard".

It's the organ of those who don't want their town asleep.

The organ of a young ambitious man.

- Better ambition than incompetence! - Monsieur you better specify!

- I'm specifying! - I'm listening!

-One word will suffice! -Say it!

Blaireau!

Blaireau!...

Indeed, Monsieur!

For 20 years, Blaireau...

...

...Municipalité!

Blaireau will knuckle under! Or else, prison!

Mealwhile, Messieurs,

as you snore under your * this year...

he dévastates our woods and our rivers...

accumulating unpunished crimes.

Oh!

Parju!

Yoo-hoo, Parju!

Ow! Ow!

A garter snake! Ay!

Get'em fresh! Get'em fresh!

Champipi, champignon mushrooms!

Come see my champipi, ladies!

I got lovely chanterelles!

Who wants my champipi? My champipi mushrooms...

Champignons. Ah, hello Mme Baquet.

- How many? - The usual.

Thank you.

Champipi, champignons! Look at my chanterelles, ladies!

Champipi, champignons! Who'll take'em? Who'll take'em?

Champipi, champignons! Who'll take'em? Who'll take'em?

Look at my lovely chanterelle, madame!

Who'll take'em? Who'll take'em?

Look at my champipi...

Voilà a champignon.

Who'll take'em? Who'll buy'em?

A champipi... Voilà two champignons.

Who wants a lovely chanterelle?

Who wants a lovely chanterelle? Who wants'em? Who'll buy'em?

Who wants'em? Who'll buy'em?

Voilà two, three...

four.

Badaboom... Boom!

Boom!

Ah...

Champipi,

champipi...

Look at my chanterelles! Look at my champipi!

Looking for mushrooms, Parju?

Aquatic mushrooms!

- Looking for something? - Where are the trouts?

Trouts?

Oh! Ah!

- Trouts! - But fishing season's over.

They call that representing law and order.

I'll get you, Blaireau! I'll get you.

Who wants mushrooms, champipi, champignons?

Not only are you incapable of

maintaining order, but you actively create disorder, huh?

Ah, Arabella, how's your papa?

He's a blast.

-And your mother? -She's a blast, too.

Come on! Don't just stand there!