最初の192行です。
-Troy and Abed back from summer -Troy and Abed back from summer
Wait a minute. Something's changed.
There's 12 additional thumbtacks on that board. They're driving me crazy.
No, I meant this. Trying out the hipster look.
It's cool, but also not.
Hey, guys, have a good summer?
Take them off.
Happy first day of school.
Good morning. I brought brownies.
Congratulations, it's me.
I see we've all reinvented ourselves over the summer.
A little late to the hipster party much?
A little much on the "much" much?
We should get to class. Where's Pierce?
-I don't know. -Hey-o.
Sorry, I'm late.
Damn Mexican cleaning woman did a cha-cha on my glasses...
...so I gotta wear this old pair.
Abed. Abed.
-Abed. -Yeah?
-Did you go to your happy place? -Yeah.
Did you envision a babbling brook like I described?
I started with a babbling brook, then layered in elements from our world.
I'm sure fans of the brook will complain, but it was limiting.
-Keep it simple. -It was a babbling brook.
Okay. Here's the deal, Jessica Biel.
The first day of senior year is emotional for everyone...
...so I hereby therapize you to go to your happy place...
...whenever you feel stressed.
-I found my lucky notebook. -Found my lucky charm.
Abed, you ready for our last first day of school?
Are you ready, buddy?
I just need a minute.
This is my show It's about me
And all my friends on Abed TV
My happy place Nothing but fun
Nothing but laughs and smiles And then we rerun
For those times When life's too hard to face
I'll find some happy In my happy place
Abed's Happy Community College Show is filmed...
...before a live audience inside of my head.
I can't believe we're getting into this class.
I can't believe there's a History of Ice Cream.
Seniors.
Hey.
There they are.
I missed you guys.
-Seniors. -Speaking of seniors...
...I've decided I'm gonna do senioritis this year.
You know, just hanging out...
...and blowing off classes, pulling pranks, not saying my G's.
I'll pull some pranks with you.
Okay. Or Jeff or whoever. You know, whoever's around, whatever.
Abed, after class we're still doing our first-day-of-school tradition?
-You know it. -We make wishes in the fountain.
Fellas, I hate to tell you, wishes aren't real.
If you want something bad, you have to work for it.
-Or use a spell. -All of our wishes come true.
Last year, Troy wished we got Bin Laden and the Dorito taco.
But Obama got credit for both.
Could you wish for Jeff to be on time?
No. No wasting wishes on impossibilities.
We have to make this year count, especially since it's the last one.
Oh, no. Is all this for The History of Ice Cream?
Overbooked. It's first come, first serve now.
-Just like real ice cream. -Guys, over here.
-Oh, Jeffrey. -Jeff.
Jeff, I can't believe that you came early.
Don't you read Garrett's Twitter? He posted a crisis alert about it.
I came early to save seats. Oh, you know what, girls?
I gave you the old flyer. Instagram for Besties is in Room 44.
Showing up early, helping others, sending girls away?
Could this be a whole new Jeff Winger?
Don't ruin it by approving it.
Oh, so that's progressed.
I mean, it's progressed, but it hasn't "progressed" progressed.
It's progressive.
-Good luck, Troy. -Hey.
You can't just walk in here.
I've been pissing in jars for an hour trying to keep this seat.
Leonard, keep those--
Yes. All right, all right, all right. Simmer dean.
This can't be good. He's dressed as himself.
Greendale's registration system has been hacked.
That's right. Someone hacked into the supply closet...
...and counterfeited these History of Ice Cream admission cards.
Whoever did this is very good.
There is only one fair way to solve this.
So follow me to...
...the Hunger Deans.
Thank you. Thank you.
There are 35 tests of strength and agility.
The winner of each one of these contests...
...will be awarded a red rubber ball.
No ball, no ice cream.
And these are impossible to counterfeit...
...because each one has been marked by my distinct bite print.
-Oh, Lord, no. -Yeah.
We need to take this class. It's the only history credit this semester.
Whatevs. We'll take it next semes.
Ter. Semester.
But I need it now.
Okay. I took some extra classes online...
...and I'm one history credit away from graduating.
Jeff, you're graduating early?
Well, graduating after 30 can't be characterised as early.
-When were you gonna tell us, Jeff? -I was working on a speech.
Believe me, it tied in a lot of things.
There was a lot of resolutions and epiphanies.
It would have gone down a lot better...
...after we had taken the ice cream class together.
That's why you held our seats, your own selfish reasons.
No, I want us to take the class together.
I just want it to be the last class we take together.
-I should've phrased that differently. -Win your ball. What do I care?
I've got a senior prank to pull. Shirley.
Abed, ready to make some wishes? Make chocolate hot dogs a reality?
Go with Britta. I'll just hang out here and watch.
-Really? Are you sure? -Yeah, I'm fine.
F-I-N-E or F-Y-N-E?
We made one of them a code for "not fine."
F-Y-N-E.
Okay, he's fine. Let's go.
See you around, old Jeff.
No, new Jeff. New Jeff does not just look out for himself.
New Jeff is gonna win seven red balls.
Because he is not gonna take that class unless you guys are with me.
Look, we're gonna have to leave this place sometime.
Like an ice cream cone melting in the sun...
...our time here can't last forever.
That was part of the speech I was writing.
-Hey, guys. What's going on? -Oh, just making plans for the future.
Can't stay at Greendale forever.
Hey, is mine different than yours?
Look out below. Coming in for a lan-dean.
Amelia Earhart?
Close. I am America's sexiest aviator, Leo DiCaprio.
And just as his character lost his mind...
...so have I lost your student records.
What? I can't believe it.
Yeah, Amelia Earhart would have been faster.
As you know, our student records are stored on a Microsoft Paint file...
...which I was assured was future-proof.
Meanwhile, our extended warranty is not being honoured...
...by the restaurant that used to be Circuit City.
But I think the fairest way to handle this...
...is to have everyone repeat the last three years.
You can't be serious.
In-dean, I am.
We're gonna be here forever.
Forever.
I'm gonna stay in here forever.
Gentlemen and ladies.
My first red ball is way up high.
To touch my ball, first touch the sky.
Go.
-Give it up, Leonard. -I'm gonna eat your ice cream, Winger.
-You? You're premed. -I want ice cream.
Yeah, well, I wanna graduate with dignity.
Come over.
Jeff's really going after that ball.
There's gotta be a joke in there somewhere.
That's my first ball. New Jeff.
Give me a minute. Give me a minute.
This one! This one!
No.
If we're doing the first three years over again, I could change majors.
I've always been curious about forensics.
Did you know you could major in antics?
You need a tomfoolery prereq. They waive it for women.
This is lunacy. We are not gonna start over as freshmen.
Hey, there's a freshman mixer tonight. Are you guys freshmen?
We can be.
This prank is amazing. He's gonna come in here later...
...and have the creepy feeling someone was in here.
-We should go before we get caught. -Aren't we gonna do something?
Do something?
All right. A prank on a prank.
Let's move everything on his desk over an inch except his stapler.
Then he'll think we moved his stapler. There's so many levels to this.
How about we fill his car with popcorn?
That sounds messy.
That sounds messy.
Okay. Keys. Keys.
Okay, I'm the dean.
I come into my office, turn on the light.
"Oh, my, did my stapler grow legs and move?"
Then come over here for coffee.
I would hide my keys in...
-Heels. -You got skills.
Look who got his ball.
Not my ball, your ball. I wanted you guys to see it.
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