Strike a Pose

I was the kind of child that was shy,

but only outside of my house.

When I was alone in my room, I could feel like myself.

But when I was in my room and in front of other people,

I felt like I had to put on some sort of front

and act like everybody else.

But I knew I wasn’t like everybody else.

There is a special excitement in the air for the 40,000 fans

who are waiting for Madonna to take the stage.

As a matter of fact, at every stop along her 90,000-mile tour,

Madonna has caused a commotion.

I definitely know why we were picked, why me and Jose were picked.

Because she definitely wanted us to choreograph the Vogue video...

and then tour after.

We already had this vogue thing going on.

Our group was quite known

in the underground scene in New York City.

Madonna came to New York to meet us.

She was like, “Hey, what’s up? I heard a lot about you

and this vogue thing you guys do.

I wanna see. Will you show me?”

Very clearly.

Jose is very young. He’s talented in many forms of dance.

She saw a raw talent. She saw character.

Young, artistic expression is the best.

Spoke my mind, just like she did.

We carried our flamboyance as a warning.

Yes, we have earrings on. Yes, we have eyeliner on.

But don’t mistake any of this-- for weakness.

I remember seeing the ad.

I had just had the roughest summer of my life.

I had no money to eat. I had no money to, like, get around.

I had a terrible highlighted mullet.

I’d never seen so many people at an audition. It was madness.

It went all the way down the block.

I was young and I was hungry and America was new to me.

I arrived, uh, June ’87.

June 20, ’87.

And then after being three years in New York,

I got the job with Madonna.

This is so wild. I’m panicking right now. Belgium stress.

I always wanted everybody to look at me, like, all the time.

Like, dancing, I always wanted to be the best dancer.

I wanted to be the best artist. I wanted to be the best at everything, yeah.

And with dancing, I mean, I mostly was.

I remember getting home

and I had a message on my answering machine.

No one has answering machines anymore.

I answered and it was like,

“Um, hi. I’m trying to reach Carlton. This is Madonna.”

And I was like, “What the fuck? She called my house.”

And she said that she was gonna be going to a club called Club Louis.

And she was inviting me to come.

And all the boys that were there, you know--

Kevin was there. I remember Oliver was there, Jose and Luis.

I think basically the cast that ended up being cast were there that night.

Oh, man. I went home and I said, “Mom, I made it.”

And I dropped down on my knees and started crying. And that was it.

Strike a pose.

For this tour, Madonna had seen a lot of great dancers.

So I think once you’ve seen the great dancers,

what stands out next is style and personality.

There’s a statement that I have always sat with

that represented how she dealt with us,

and it was-- Give me more of you.

Give me more of you.

Liberal.

Expressive. You know, we were just like what she was into at the time.

Pushing buttons and not being afraid to say who we were.

That show was about freedom.

Freedom as an artist, freedom as a human being.

Freedom in regards to fucking speak the truth.

Express yourself, you know, and not be ashamed about it.

We had our own thing, our own attitude, our own style, our--

We all were brought up differently.

Even though the six of them were gay, they all were brought up differently.

I mean, we all had a story to tell.

Oh, my God, we let Oliver have it sometimes, you know.

We were all classically trained dancers too.

He was the only one who actually just came from kind of like a hip-hop background.

We used to call him not like a real dancer, yeah.

Before I met them, if someone was gay,

I would probably punch him out.

We saw a leather jacket with lots of colors on it...

and he had blond hair.

You know we were so fierce and flamboyant ourselves that, you know,

that’s the first thing we noticed.

You know, the other flamboyant person.

Come to find out that the other flamboyant person was not even gay.

Of course, everything’s color-coordinated.

The sad part is I have more clothes than my wife.

The good thing is my wife is not materialistic.

Her ring is simple, our life--

Well, her life is simple. My life isn’t.

I’m-- I’m just that person. I’ve always been like that.

But name a person--

Name a person, name a guy that has pink suede Adidas.

That’s right.

He certainly didn’t look like a homophobe,

as, I mean, not the way he was dressed.

You know, how can you be homophobic?

I mean...

y-you look like a parrot.

When you’re thrusted into this situation,

it is almost like a fishbowl situation.

You know, we’re here and then it’s everybody else on the outside.

It’s a wave of--

It’s a physical wave. It’s a wind of screams.

A gale, like a hurricane of screams and voices, like, hitting you palpably.

It’s not like you just hear it in the distance.

It’s like hitting you in your face.

It was crazy, you know.

Not only did we see “We love Madonna” signs out there,

but we saw, you know, “We love Kevin,” “We love Carlton,”

“We love Luis and Jose,” “We love--” you know...

in the audience.

This the first of eight sellout shows

that Madonna will be performing in the New York area

over the next two weeks.

And like everything else that Madonna does,

this tour is high on shock value.

Spokesmen for rock singer Madonna say

metro police and the criminal attorneys office

threatened to arrest the star last night for lewd and obscene behavior.

I am aware that the Vatican and certain Catholic communities

are accusing my show of being sinful and blasphemous.

That they are trying to keep people from seeing it.

Hi, guys. Welcome.

Welcome to the home I grew up in.

Okay, come in.

This is the room where I stay at now. It’s now like the junk room.

-Oh, hi. I’m Jimmy. -This is Jimmy, my boyfriend.

-Hi. -His big head.

Okay. And come this way.

And this-- this is my mom back there.

Mom?

-Hi. -That’s my mom. Come on out, please.

-Hi. -And that’s the lady, people.

She’s saying when we were in Europe--

Uh-huh.

that she saw it on the news--

that everyone would call her or--

She’s--

She’s saying that is was a very big deal. It was very controversial, everything.

And they were saying how we were Hispanics.

And being that we were-- me and Luis were from the Hispanic community--

it was a very big deal.

So they would call her, you know,

and when she would go out shopping to the grocery store,

they’re like, “Oh, my God. We saw your son. Big controversy.

He almost got arrested in Europe for being whatever or whatever.”

By the time we left Japan,

I found myself growing really attached to the dancers,

and I started feeling like a mother to them.

Gabriel, since you never give me any attitude,

you get the oldest and most valuable one.

Thank you.

Oh, rest in peace. Oh.

Love him.

Love him so much.

These two took care of me: Kevin and Gabriel.

They really looked after me when I was on tour.

’Cause they knew where I came from.

Everybody knew what I was about and where I came from,

but they always had my back.

I’m not saying that the rest of my boys and girls didn’t have my back,

but I was a baby.

If I can manage to get down back through my shoes.

I have a problem I’d say.

What have we got here?

Some pictures from the tour.

Um... there’s Gabriel.

There’s Gabriel.

There I am.

He was the unofficial favorite child.

There was something about him that was just, um, peaceful.

Like always, like, this peaceful, bright presence.

-Oh, here’s my Christmas present. - What’s that?

My Christmas present from Madonna. Years ago.

- What does it say? -“For my darling little Asian beauty.

Kevin, baby, grab life by the balls and don’t let go.”

I’d call them my first family.

You know, besides my-- my, you know, blood relatives,

they’re definitely my first family that I really bonded with.

’Cause it was a very formative part of my life.

My mom was kind of absent at that point.

So, uh, having Madonna around really...

did sort of fill that space for me, you know,

and I think for her too.

She wanted kids and I sort of-- Not that I wanted a mom, but I certainly--

I liked having somebody that would sort of--

I knew I could rely on her.

It was like a friendship-motherly-instinct she felt.

You know, when you’re in that element of being a superstar like that,

it’s very hard to find the truth.

And-And kids can be very honest.

And gay kids can be very, very honest and flamboyant.