Chuck

Morgan, this is a bad idea. We can't stay here, Chuck.

I'm uncomfortable with the plan. What plan? This is survival.

We've been compromised. I'm a ghost.

Morgan, you can't leave me like this. You can't do this to me, man.

Chuck, what are you doing?

Uh, escaping.

From your own birthday party.

Hey, Ellie.

Wow, you look fantastic.

Uh, you know, sis, the thing is...

...Morgan and I don't really feel like we're fitting in...

...at my birthday party.

Because we don't know anybody.

Because they're all your friends and they all happen to be doctors.

Yeah, doctors who don't really get our jokes.

- Well, your jokes. - Okay, my jokes.

Chuck, I have invited real, live women for you.

So please, let's go.

Morgan, you stay here.

- Need a hand, buddy? - No, no, no, I'm okay. I'm all right.

Birthday boy, come with me.

We're gonna be social. You are funny, smart, handsome.

- Thank you. There's Captain Awesome. - Please don't call him that.

Okay, I've identified some candidates for Chuck, and they are awesome.

Let me introduce you to Chuck, Ellie's brother.

Hi. We've heard so much about you. Are you in a costume?

No, I work for the Nerd Herd.

Nerd Herd? That is so cute. What do you really wanna do?

Working on my five-year plan. Just need a font.

What happened here? Did you hurt your hand?

No, no, it's, ahh, from "Call of Duty. "

The controller chafes after several hours.

- Ellie said you went to Stanford. - Yes, that's technically correct.

I graduated in '02.

- What was your major? - Engineering.

Oh, my God. I knew this great guy.

He was an engineer. Um, he ran track. And I think he was a gymnast too.

- Bryce Larkin. He was my roommate. Oh, yes.

- What's he doing now? - I think he's an accountant.

Oh.

It's hard to say goodbye.

COMPUTER Security breach:

Data Vault.

- So do you have a girlfriend? - Ahh, no.

- I did, a while back at Stanford. Oh.

Yeah. Her name was Jill. We met freshman year.

Oh, that was a while back.

I remember when I met Jill, I was... Uh, it was in Economics class.

I was walking across the quad and she had dropped her bag.

And I was, like, rushing to, heh... To go and pick it up for her.

And, uh, we kind of, like, did that whole...

Like in a cartoon, kind of bumped heads and...

There was a whole gang of us, Jill and Bryce.

We had so much in common then.

How's he doing?

Not awesome.

So there I was. Jill with Bryce, me on a train home.

I guess she thought he was more exciting.

Larkin is in the vault. Larkin, open the door.

You have three seconds. We can compromise.

Blow the door. Okay, let's go.

Larkin.

Freeze.

Stop right there.

Larkin!

Turn right.

Larkin, stop.

Larkin is on the roof. All units, converge.

I repeat, Larkin is on the roof. All units, converge.

Don't move.

Too late, Casey.

Thanks for my party.

Your seven-layer dip? Tasted like eight.

- Chuck, can I tell you something? - It really was eight layers?

Even though we may ask, no woman wants to hear about an old girlfriend.

It's depressing, okay? Stanford was five years ago.

You need to move on. It's time.

Do we have to have this conversation again?

We've rehearsed it enough.

Right. Well, I'll get over Jill tomorrow.

Hey there.

Seems like everybody had a really good time, huh?

I know I did.

Super.

Cheer up, Chuck. You can talk to some women. You know, it's a start.

Wow. A blast-from-the-past wow.

- Bryce remembered your birthday, dude. - What?

Got you kicked out of school, stole your girl?

Yeah, Morgan. I think I remember Bryce.

All right, well, what, uh...? What do we got here?

Huh. What is it?

"Zork. " Remember "Zork," the old text-based video game?

Bryce and I programmed our own version of it back at Stanford using a TRS-80.

Wow, you guys were really cool.

Yeah, if I could only remember what was in my hero's satchel.

The weapons I would use to kill the terrible troll.

Right. You know what? You're still really cool.

And, uh, you're going home.

- Is it that time? - It's that time.

Right.

- Pedal safe. Thank you.

Attack troll with nasty knife.

Chuck.

Chuck.

Dude.

Dude.

Are you okay?

Morgan?

Yeah, man. Yeah, it's me.

What happened?

I was gonna ask you the same question.

You okay?

Did you spike the punch?

Something goes wrong, you blame me.

After all these years, where's the trust? Yes, I did.

The 101 is clear at Universal City.

Watch for delays near Burbank Airport. Security's checking all vehicles.

Got a stickler on the I-605 San Gabriel River Freeway.

A fender-bender on the I-5 Freeway, northbound from 91 Freeway to...

So I'm playing Xbox and I'm like, "Dude, let me get the sniper rifle. "

Guy won't give me the sniper rifle. I need a frag grenade...

Morgan, Morgan, Morgan.

As much as I would love to talk video games with you...

...I've got a really splitting headache. - Oh.

You know what, can you do me a favor? You mind driving?

Whoa, whoa. Are you being serious? You're gonna let me drive.

It's a company car, Morgan. It's not that big a deal.

Whoa, it's not just a company car, okay?

A hooptie's a hooptie, homeboy.

I mean, this baby's sitting on chrome. Or plastic.

Do me a favor and stay off the 5, okay? The cops are in phased deployment.

Okay. Thanks for the tip, Ponch.

Fellow Nerds, today is going to be a very bad day.

We've got new computer virus on our hands.

They're calling this one the Irene Demova virus.

Ha, ha, ha. Yes, yes. It's named after the Serbian porn star.

Lonely dude call volume will be high.

This is a nasty one, kids. It's a computer-killer.

Last night, the display version of our Prism Express laptop was fried...

...when someone... Excuse me, I...

- decided to enter Miss Demova's website.

Anna, close the eyes. This is what happens.

Oh, this sexy.

Am I sexy?

Am I sexy...?

Sorry, Chuck. She drives me crazy.

But that's love.

Ahh, if you'll please just ignore dirty Uncle Morgan...

The former commander of NA TO...

...I think everything... ... is set to arrive in Los Angeles...

...to deliver a speech before the security league.

...will be...

The general has drawn fire for his criticism...

...normal.

General Stanfield, the former allied commander of NA TO...

His report has been politically motivated.

He's already here, he landed last night.

Anonymous sources inside the Pentagon...

Who's already here, Chuckles?

...are trying to stop tomorrow night's speech from happening and its text...

I don't know.

Of course, we'll have updates for you as events unfold.

Bryce Larkin was CIA, Graham.

- He was one of your agents. And it was NSA's job to find him.

To question him, not to kill him.

Thanks to Rambo here, we've got nothing.

No, you got a dead CIA agent.

That's gold star in my book.

- Lf this gets out... - It won't.

- Nobody asked you. - Actually, they did.

Major Casey is heading up this investigation.

So, what was Bryce after?

What did this computer do?

Well, this computer did everything.

After 9l11, the NSA and the CIA were told to play nice.

Share their intel. This is how we did it.

Every scrap of data we had went into this computer.

It mined for patterns in the chatter...

...saw things we didn't.

The data was encrypted into thousands of images.

Whoever received Larkin's e-mail got all of our secrets.

Find those secrets, Casey.

Found this on Larkin.

Hard drive's fried, but we picked up a trace signature.

- Where? - Los Angeles.

Which is perfect. Been feeling a little pasty.

Stop the presses. Who is that? Vicki Vale.

Vicky Vale Vick... Va-Vicky Vale

Vickity-vickity Vicki Vale Vick... Va-Vicky Vale...

- I hope I'm not interrupting. - No, not at all.

- Uh, that's from... It's from Batman. - Because that makes it better.

Ahh, hi. Hey, I'm Morgan. And this is, uh, Chuck.

Wow, I didn't think people still named their kids Chuck.

Or, uh, Morgan, for that matter.

My parents are sadists.

And carnival freaks found him in a dumpster.

But they raised me as one of their own.

- How can I help you...? - Sarah.

- Sarah. - I'm here about this.

Oh, yeah, the IntelliCell. Yeah. Absolutely.