New Girl

Cece!

Beep-beep.

Beep-beep.

I'm sorry. Excuse me.

These traffic patterns are really...

counterintuitive!

Really...

Catch-as-catch-can as far as footpaths go over here!

Cece!

I got your text.

Are you ready to go home?

Argh! Thank you for coming.

Jess, he was making out with another girl.

You... get away from here.

Okay, who are you, Miss Pajama, okay?

You're blocking my booth. Get out of here!

Don't talk to her like that, okay?

That is my best friend!

Oh, Cece...

You ripped my deep V!

This is my favorite deep V!

It´s just a deeper V.

Thanks for picking me up, Jess.

I really felt that Gavin was different.

Didn't you feel like he was different?

Yeah.

I mean, he seemed like a really nice...

European DJ with a face tattoo.

Whoo!

Hey, guys.

I think... Jess, I think these guys are into you.

We should, we should just go back, right?

We should totally head back.

Where am I taking you?

Well, can't go home

because Gavin's, like, staying at my place.

You've known him for three weeks.

Can I just crash with you for a couple days? Please?

I don't know. It's Friday night.

The guys probably have big plans.

Friday night, gentlemen.

- It's on. - What happened to you?

It's on and poppin' up in here, you feel?

- What happened to you? - What?

You didn't used to be like this, Schmidt.

What are you talking about?

You've gotten so much worse.

It's on and poppin'!

Yes. I told you I'd come through.

Okay, Benjamin just invited us to a very cool party.

I just got off three back-to-back shifts at the bar.

I just want to sit here

all weekend in silence playing this game,

then I want to go in my room and do weird stuff on my computer.

Are you even wearing underwear?

What is between you and that chair?

Just a little bit of sunshine.

All right, take off that kimono, please.

It's my leisure wear, Winston.

Look, I worked 80 hours this week.

I just want to come home, put on my 'mono

and just hang loose, man.

Okay? If you had a job, you'd understand.

R-Really?

Wow! It just got real in here.

Okay, you're not gonna take the kimono off?

Fine. Then I'm not wearing any pants.

Boom! Bam!

Mm-hmm. Everybody want to just walk around

this house wearing all kinds of stupid stuff,

then guess what I'm gonna do, Schmidt.

I'm wearing a napkin on my face.

Bam! How you like that?

That doesn't even make any sense, Winston.

It makes perfect sense.

Totally different than me wearing my kimono.

You are laughing in the face of

thousands of years of samurai culture,

and it's an affront, Winston, it's an affront.

Look at me now, huh? This is the vibe

we have in the house now because of you.

You want to walk around here looking silly.

This is handcrafted! In China.

Schmidt, I think you should take the kimono off.

Um, Cece, can you not do your usual thing?

These are really good guys.

Best behavior.

Sure.

Hey, guys, I brought...

You brought this on yourself!

What you doing?

Oh, you know, we're just chillin'.

Just chillin'.

Just doing this.

You know, Friday night.

I'm gonna use the ladies'.

What's up, Cecelia?

Where's the tequila?

Guys.

Okay.

I would normally never bring her here,

but Cece's really vulnerable right now,

and when she's drunk, she has no boundaries.

So she's really grabby, really physical,

she's really loose with her body.

So I just want to apologize in advance for anything

that she might do.

- That's good to know. - Yeah, thanks for telling us.

Thank you, guys.

You're the best.

This is the opposite of being alone!

This is the opposite of what I wanted this weekend.

Wow, how'd this happen?

Okay, I'm not a part of this, Schmidt.

I'm not a part of this.

Hi, Cece.

I'm gonna make you a bed on the couch, okay?

You have to stop dancing, okay, so you can go to sleep.

: You know, Cece, I think you should dance if you want to.

Why are you talking like that?

Like what? I'm just hanging out.

- You get up. - Really? Him?

But I'm doing this.

- Come on, get up! - No, I don't dance.

I'm from the town in Footloose.

He doesn't want to dance, Cece.

I don't wanna dance. I'm really good.

Schmidt dances... Whoa! What the...

All right, you know what, I'm gonna go to bed. Good night.

That's really not great under here.

You have to love hair.

I think it's time for bed.

You can use my bed; I'll sleep on the couch.

Over here. Over here, Cece.

Oh.

Over here. Over here.

Are you sheepdogging her?

Over here, over here.

Over here, over here.

Not here. Here we go.

Good night, Cece.

Yes! Yes.

She is sleeping on my sheets right now.

Not yours, bro. Mine.

Parkour!

You know what? I think I might

actually have a chance with her.

I just have to be

cooler than that guy.

Parkour!

A wise man once foretold of a magical night

where I would engage in nonsexual foreplay

with a model, my friends.

And tonight...

- Don't say... - ...is that night.

No, not a chance. Never gonna happen.

You're not a closer.

Oh, I'm a closer. I'm gonna close

this conversation right now, my brother.

Watch this. Boom, bam, closed.

Parkour!

Short track speed skating.

Apolo Ohno.

Well, at least this tires him out, right?

Yeah.

Look, she's great. You're gonna love her.

Do you want some eggs?

No, I've got my own breakfast.

I don't need you to...

- What? - I don't know.

Take care of me.

Just stop being so nice.

Your mother's being so nice.

Slam on my mother.

Your mother's gonna

slam on your mother.

And 4,000.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Wilkommen.

You're covered in oil?

What, oil? No.

This is just, uh...

You okay?

Schmidt.

Hey, are you okay?

Whoa. Whoa.

I just blacked out for a second.

Anything weird happen?

Okay, I need some water, so can you move?

Yeah, that's not gonna happen, honey.

Just, you know, slide me like a curtain, okay?

There you go. I'm good. I'm good.

Sweet.

Hey, can you get me a coff...

What's going on, guys? I--

Hey. Oh, you're all here.

Um, does the water gets any hotter than this?

Uh, do you want me...

Uh I mean, I could give you, if...