Inglourious Basterds

Chapter One

Once upon a time...

in Nazi-occupied France

Go back inside and shut the door.

Julie, get me some water for my wash up...

...then get inside with your sisters.

Ready, Papa.

Thank you, my darling...

...now you go inside with your sisters.

Don't run.

Is this the property of Perrier LaPadite?

I am Perrier LaPadite.

It is a pleasure to meet you, Monsieur LaPadite...

...I am Colonel Hans Landa of the SS.

What can I do for you?

I was hoping you could invite me inside your home...

...and we may have a discussion.

Certainly. After you.

Colonel Landa, this is my family.

Colonel Hans Landa of the SS...

...Mademoiselle...

...at your service.

The rumors I have heard in the village about your family are all true.

Each one of your daughters is more lovely than the last.

Merci.

Please...

...have a seat.

Suzanne, would you be so good as to get the Colonel some wine?

But no.

Merci beaucoup, Monsieur LaPadite, but no wine.

This being a dairy farm, one would be safe in assuming you have milk?

Oui.

Then milk is what I prefer.

Very well.

Julie, would you mind closing the window?

Merci.

Monsieur, to both your family and your cows...

...I say, "Bravo."

Thank you.

Please join me at your table.

Very well.

Monsieur LaPadite...

...what we have to discuss would be better discussed in private.

You'll notice I left my men outdoors.

If it wouldn't offend them, could you ask your lovely ladies to step outside?

You are right.

Charlotte, would you take the girls outside?

The Colonel and I need to have a few words.

Monsieur LaPadite...

...I regret to inform you I've exhausted the extent of my French.

To continue to speak it so inadequately would only serve to embarrass me.

However, I've been led to believe you speak English quite well.

Yes.

Well, it just so happens, I do as well. This being your house...

...I ask your permission to switch to English...

...for the remainder of the conversation.

By all means.

Monsieur LaPadite...

...I thank you for the milk...

...and your hospitality.

I do believe our business here is done.

Ah, ladies.

I thank you for your time.

We shan't be bothering your family any longer.

So, Monsieur...

...Mademoiselle.

I bid farewell to you and say...

...adieu.

Chapter Two

Chapter Two INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS

No,no,no,no,no,no,no!

How much more of these Jew swine must I endure?

They butcher my men like they were flies!

Do you know the latest rumor they've conjured up in their fear-induced delirium?

The one...

...that beats my boys with a bat!

The one they call "The Bear Jew"...

...is a Golem!

My Führer, this is just soldiers' gossip.

No one really believes "The Bear Jew" is a Golem.

Why not?

They seem to be able to elude capture like an apparition.

They seem to be able to appear and disappear at will.

You want to prove they're flesh and blood?

Then bring them to me!

I will hang them naked, by their heels, from the Eiffel Tower!

And then throw their bodies in the sewers...

...for the rats of Paris to feast!

Kliest!

Yes, my Führer!

I have an order I want relayed to all German soldiers stationed in France.

The Jew degenerate known as "The Bear Jew," henceforth, is never to be referred to as The Bear Jew again.

Yes, my Führer!

Do you still wish to see Private Butz?

Who and what is a Private Butz?

He's the soldier you wanted to see personally.

His squad was ambushed by Lt. Raine's Jews.

He was its only survivor.

Indeed, I do want to see him. Thank you for reminding me.

Send him in.

Sergeant Rachtmann, Ludwig and I were the only ones left alive after the ambush.

While one man guarded us, the rest removed the hair.

How did you survive this ordeal?

They let me go.

You are not to tell anybody anything. Not one word of detail!

Your outfit was ambushed, and you got away!

Not one word more!

Yes, my Führer.

Did they mark you like they did the other survivors?

Yes, my Führer.

I will hug my mother like I've never hugged her before.

Not only shall I remove it, but I intend to burn it.

Chapter Three

Chapter Three GERMAN NIGHT IN PARIS

JUNE

What starts tomorrow?

A Max Linder festival.

I always preferred Linder to Chaplin.

Except Linder never made a film as good as "The Kid."

The chase climax of "The Kid," superb.

I adore your cinema very much.

Merci.

Is it yours?

Do I own it?

Oui.

Oui.

How is it a girl as young as you owns a cinema?

My aunt left it to me.

Merci for hosting a German night.

I don't have a choice...

...but you're welcome.

I love the Riefenstahl mountain films...

...especially Piz Palü.

It's nice to see a French girl who's an admirer of Riefenstahl.

"Admire" would not really be the word I would use...

...to describe my feelings towards Fräulein Riefenstahl.

But you do admire the director Pabst, don't you?

That's why you include his name on the marquee...

...when you didn't have to.

I'm French. We respect directors in our country.

Even Germans.

Even Germans, oui.

Merci for your assistance, soldier. Adieu.

You're not finished.

I'll finish in the morning.

May I ask your name?

You wish to see my papers?

Emmanuelle Mimieux.

That's a very pretty name.

Merci.

Are you finished with my papers?

Mademoiselle, may I introduce myself...

...Fredrick Zoller.

Well...

...it's been a pleasure chatting with a fellow cinema lover.

Sweet dreams, mademoiselle.

Adieu.

Hello, mademoiselle.

May I join you?

Look, Fredrick...

You remember my name?

Yes.

Look, you seem a pleasant enough fellow...

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Regardless, I want you to stop pestering me.

I apologize, mademoiselle...

...I wasn't trying to be a pest.

I was simply trying to be friendly.

I don't wish to be your friend.

Why not?

Don't act like an infant. You know why.

I'm more than just a uniform.

Not to me.

If you are so desperate for a French girlfriend...

...I suggest you try Vichy.

Who are you?

I thought I was just a uniform.

You're not just a German soldier.

Are you somebody's son?

Most German soldiers are somebody's son.

You're a very lucky girl, catching a brave war hero.

--No, no, no, no, the mademoiselle is not my girlfriend.

Can you write "Amour Babette"?

So you're a war hero.

What did you do?

I was alone in a bell tower in a walled off city.

It was myself and a thousand rounds of ammo, in a bird's nest...

...against three hundred enemy soldiers.

What's a bird's nest?

A bird's nest is what a sniper would call a bell tower.

It's a high structure, offering a three hundred and sixty degree view.

Very advantageous for marksmen.

How many did you kill?

Sixty-eight.

The first day.

A hundred and fifty...

...the second day.

Thirty-two the third day.

On the fourth day they exited the city.