Captain Pantoja and the Special Services

Pantaleon and the special service

Are you sure this is the man we are looking for?

Intelligence investigated his professional and private life.

He got into the Chorrillos military school with the best grade.

He chose the service corps.

Best grades in math, economy and administration.

That's why during his whole carrier he got to raise the flag every final day of the year.

Since he graduated, 8 years ago, nobody has equalled his grades.

He prefers sports and study to parties, but he has a social life.

After three years of going out, he married Alfonsina Rea.

She is a decent girl, serious and a good wife that takes care of her house

We have confirmed that Cpt. Pantoja is no womanizer.

Not one escapade in 5 years of marriage. He doesn't drink nor party

Sounds as if you were talking about a saint, not a soldier.

Listen to what cpt. Montes wrote about him.

"Born organizer, mathematical sense of order, executive capacity..."

"He leaves fond memories in Chiclayo and I request for him to be comissioned for one more year..."

" to this station, as he conducted the regiment with inspired efficiency."

This captain is our man, Lez.

- Panta, breakfast is ready. - Coming!

- Pocha, Did you sew my galon? - Yes, my lieutenant!

- Did I hear wrong or you said lieutenant? - Excuse me, my captain.

Util I get used to it, you'll be my little lieutenant, darling.

How beautiful this is!

Where do you think they'll send us this time? I hope they leave us in Lima. And you?

I don't care. As long as there is a quarter is good enough for me.

You and your vocation. You are married first to the army and then to me.

Where would you like to be? Other than Lima, of course.

Chiclayo again. Or Tacna or Piura

And the mountains? Or the jungle? It's a possibility.

I hate the mountains. The jungle... Iquitos could be.

It has to be a city, not a camping ground or some garrison because...

you have to start thinking about the little cadet.

- I can start dreaming about ordering him, or? - Now?

May be... Or at night It doesn't matter that it's not saturday.

I'm 5 minutes late. And it takes me about 30 to get to the ministry

that is, if there is no traffic. - Ok.

Let's have breakfast my captain.

Good morning ma'am, I am Cpt. Pantoja. I have an appointment with Gral. Collazos.

He is waiting for you, together with colonel Lez.

- Congratulations on the new spaghetti. - Thank you my colonel.

- And by the brilliant way you got it. - Thank you colonel.

I was informed about your promotion. You got the first place by unanimous decision of the jury.

- Congratulation Cpt. - Thank you my general.

Sit down. Sit down.

- A cigarrette? - No thanks.

You see my general neither a smoker nor a drunk nor a man of the ladies.

An officer without vices. We already have somebody to represent

our army in paradise, together with San Mart匤 and St. Rose of Lima.

Let's not exagerate. I must have some vices you don't know about.

We know everything about you.

You would flip if you knew how much we have investigated you.

Well, let's take the bull by the horns, then.

This matter requires absolute discretion!

I am talking about the mission we will entrust you.

And it's the following, Pantoja:

From some time now the troop in the jungle has been

- ... rioutous, excited. - When we were informed about the problem...

we thought they were isolated cases, manageable.

Caused by the climate or the food in the area.

But it wasn't so. Things have gone from bad to worse.

Gral. Scavino and father Beltr疣, who has been busting my balls...

asking us to do something, have taken some measures.

But up to now, neither punishments nor lessons have solved the problem

That's why we have decided to take more... radical measures

and it's here where you come to work!

I am a bit confused. The truth is that...

You'll be in charge of something very important.

Gral. scavino will give you all the details as soon as you reach your destination.

You are leaving next monday, Pantoja. I hope you like the jungle.

You have all my confidence and support for this dificult and delicate mission.

I wish you the best of lucks, Pantoja.

And remember, the reputation of this institution is in your hands.

Well, the thing started to work.

But this is useless!

You'll identify these bandits, ladies.

- Stop crying. - Do we have to go out in front of these soldiers?

They'll form outside, you peek through the window and tell when you recognize the one.

Take a good look, ladies, take a good look. Chose.

Which one do you prefer as father of your children?

Gral. Collazos, my general.

Hello? Tiger, How is it going?

OK, OK. I'm going to receive this cpt.

But I warn you, I wash my hands from this whole business!

- These strategists at Lima! - Do they still have this special service in mind?

May god have mercy!

Something doesn't smell right. What does the reputation of the army...

have to do with climate, food and health of the troop.

- I don't get it. - Darling, stop thinking about it.

- As soon as you talk to Scavino you'll know. - Maybe something happened in the jungle.

- I'll check the internet. - Just a little bit, my captain.

Now you mission is to take your wife to the movies...

and to buy her sommer clothes so that she doesn't fry in the jungle.

- It's an order. - Whatever you say my general.

Afterwards I'll let you get under my sheets as a price...

and I'll allow you to caress me at discretion!

Pochita, you are wrinkling my uniform, honey.

As the guide of the Amazon region, ,,

I feel obliged to speak in defence of all the women of the region.

I am not an antipatriotic, no!

But my love for the army doesn't prevent me from saying the truth:

This wave of rapes that plagues our region,...

terrorizing and dishonoring our beautiful women,...

has a culprit.

The rapists are soldiers of our army.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, our own soldiers.

It's painful to admit...

but I have undeniable proof.

What is happening with our army?

I ask myself: What do the authorities have to say about this?

What does Gral. Scavino have to say...

and what does father Betr疣, the army chaplain, have to say?

They should be lock in a prison for life...

for abusive and perverts but the mercy of our lord is infinite...

and he opens them a door for their repent and salvation.

Soldiers, Do you swear by God and fatherland...

to take these womes as wives, to honor them...

and be faithful until death do you part?

Yes, I swear!

Don't worry ma'am, after a couple of days the mosquitoes don't bite anymore.

- They won't even look at you. - Thanks.

Don't stop eating "cecina" with "tacacho", it's very soft.

Uf! It's so hot!

I can't stand these clothes anymore.

You have to get used to this, baby. This is the coolest season of the year.

I hope that in the army compounds they have air contioned. If not, I die!

It's the first thing I am gonna ask Scavino. And if not...

I'll get one installed for you.

Uf! You are all wet. Really wet.

Us human beings sweat when we're hot.

- I'm going to get dry. - No! It doesn't bother me at all. On the contrary.

- Ok, now we have to unpack. - Wait, wait, there's no hurry.

- Panta! What are you doing!? - Take it all off.

- I don't know you anymore! - Take it all off.

You! Always so serious. Wait, I take it off.

Remember you have a meeting with Scavino

You'll fall asleep. You always fall asleep after...

- I want you to know that I disagree with the service you've come to organize.

I don't know what my mission is going to be. Gral. Collazos told me you would inform me.

In a few words: The troop is fucking the "cholas".

Officers don't know what to do anymore with all the lawsuits for violations.

He have asked doctors, sociologists, sexologists.

And after much bla bla bla, we came to the simple truth.

Any soldier that comes to the jungle becomes a... dick head

- I still don't get it. I am not an expert , but I can't see how... - Just a second.

Cpt. Pantale Pantoja is entrusted with...

the mission of organizing, implementing and managing

a special services of hostesses for garrisons, border posts...

and similars", with the duty of fulfilling the natural needs of

Etc, etc, etc...

- Excuse me Gral. What do you mean with these...

- ... hostesses? Do you mean...? - Whores.

Yes, whores.

Gral. Collazos and his Lima strategists...

had the great idea of giving women to the troops.

Moving the from one camp to the next and letting the soldiers fornicate

And you, a Captain of the Peruvian Army,...

will serve as the macquereau, a pimp...

or however those individuals that commerce with sex are called.

Excuse me, my general.

But I don't think I'm capable of carring out this mission.

- I beg you to reconsider... - It's already too late for that. It's an order.

- And orders are to be fulfilled. - I'll try to do the best I can.

- I don't want you to come close to the headquarters, nor any other dependency in Iquitos.

You are excused of attending any official act,...

parades, tedeums, etc.

- And I forbid you to use the uniform. You'll dress as a civilian.

Do I even have to come to work as a civilian?

Your work will be very, very far away from the headquarters.

What logist and material support can I count on?

Lieutenant Bacacorzo has been designated for that.

He'll be the link between you and your superiors.

Any other question, Captain?

We won't live in the military compounds nor will you mingle with the wives of the officers.

- Why? - I'm sorry, chola.

We'll pretend we are civilians, I'll be a trader that's starting a new business

What kind of job did they give you? Why do we have to hide like this?

- I'm talking to you. - I'm listening, Pantale Pantoja.

Can you explain what all this is about?

You promissed we would never lie to eachother. You promissed.

Why don't you want to tell me?

The thing is that I'm going to work... in intelligence.

The intelligence service?

Well, then I get all the mistery. What do you have to find out?

- I can't say anything, those are my orders. - Pantita, tell me.

What do you have to spy? Is there going to be a war with Brazil or Ecuador?

Does it have to do with the Rio protocol?

You have no idea, lieutenant, what it means to have to hide from my wife...

this thing of the mission.

I had never before lied or hidden anything from her. Never.

Many officer would give anything to be in your shoes.

Not me. They up screwed me with this job.

How am I supposed to organize this service if I had never had contact with prostitutes?

- I don't even know where to begin. - From the beginning captain.

Go to a cathouse, to see how are things. I recommend you Do Leonor.

A.K.A "La Chuchupe"

She wants to give up her business and her girls will be out of job.

I would love to go with you, but my instructions are very specific.

- Hi honey. - Good evening.

- Do you want to dance? - No.