The Lazarus Project

This programme contains very strong language from the outset.

Bollocks!

Hmm, the rubbish men are here.

Hmm, the rubbish men are here.

Oh, shit.

I didn't put the bins out.

I didn't put the bins out.

Run down in your pants and ask them to wait.

I ain't doin' that again.

Big day today.

Big day today.

Are you nervous? Yeah. A little bit. Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm.

Mmm--

Ohhh...

Gah!

If I show you my tits, will you make me some toast before you go?

If I show you my tits, will you make me some toast before you go?

Marmalade or jam? Marmalade.

All right, Paddington.

All right, Paddington.

It's an exciting day today,

in lots of different ways.

We've got some great guests lined up,

and we can't wait to get started,

and we can't wait to get started,

but first, over to our local weather desk to hear...

You need start-up money for a mobile phone application?

That's correct.

And what does it do, exactly?

And what does it do, exactly?

It's a pattern spotter. Futurist stuff.

Market opportunities for growing businesses.

How do you spot the patterns?

You step back far enough away, and you watch.

You step back far enough away, and you watch.

You know, conflicts brewing,

certain products starting to sell better than others,

certain politicians starting to do better than they should,

certain politicians starting to do better than they should,

the age of shipping containers, the health of monarchs.

Everything is data. It can all be analysed.

Give me an example.

Give me an example.

Yeah, er...

All right, DeWhitt and Weston.

Export and trading company with an octogenarian CEO

Export and trading company with an octogenarian CEO

with multiple children from multiple marriages

sittin' on the board.

Now, there's a company headin' for a period of uncertainty

if ever I've seen one.

if ever I've seen one.

And what's the app called?

Er, we're gonna call it Hazard Lights.

We think it's gonna change your life.

I am so proud of you.

I am so proud of you.

You big fucking nerd. Thank you.

It's too early to predict whether or not

the virus is going to continue in its growth,

the virus is going to continue in its growth,

but we are hopeful...

Congratulations.

Shut up...

Shut up...

No... Yep.

BY PAUL KALKBRENNER)

Are you gonna make me another cup of tea or-- Fuck off!

Are you gonna make me another cup of tea or-- Fuck off!

Aaaaaah!

Aah!

PLAYING PACHELBEL'S "CANON IN D")

Karl... Congratulations, man.

Cheers, mate.

Cheers, mate.

She's a good woman.

Yeah, she's... she's all right, I guess.

No, I mean it. She's a good woman, mate.

No, I mean it. She's a good woman, mate.

Look after her, huh?

I can barely look after myself, but OK.

I can barely look after myself, but OK.

Hmm.

Daily infections continue to grow at an alarming rate,

Daily infections continue to grow at an alarming rate,

and Government advisers warn that the overall death toll...

..much higher than initially forecast...

..the Prime Minister... ..those displaying...

...MERS-22 symptoms, however mild, are encouraged

...MERS-22 symptoms, however mild, are encouraged

to wear protective... ..the number of cases are increasing...

..and all are advised... ..face masks... ..later today, and...

Hey!

I thought we said a small tree. Yeah, we did.

But then you left me to buy it by myself and this happened.

I'm gonna burn that bloody mask.

I'm gonna burn that bloody mask.

UK MERS-related deaths are at over 1,700 a day,

the highest since the start of the pandemic.

With existing hospitals beyond capacity...

With existing hospitals beyond capacity...

and emergency hospitals at the O2 Arena and Olympia

becoming overcrowded,

ministers are meeting to decide what the next measures should be.

ministers are meeting to decide what the next measures should be.

All are urged to stay at home...

and only leave the house if absolutely necessary.

Those displaying... It's gonna be all right.

..and needing medical assistance...

..and needing medical assistance...

...will only be admitted to hospital in an emergency...

George, do you think we're gonna...

George, do you think we're gonna...

die?

Bollocks!

Jesus fucking Christ.

Jesus fucking Christ.

It's OK, we can just take it to the tip.

Big day today.

Big day today.

Huh?

Pitch day. Meeting at the bank.

Are you OK?

Yeah...

Yeah...

Ohhh...

Aah!

If I show you my tits, will you make me some toast before you go?

It's an exciting day today

in lots of different ways.

We've got some great guests lined up,

We've got some great guests lined up,

and we can't wait to get started,

but first over to our local weather desk to hear...

We've already done this?

Yeah, we've...

Er, I'm sorry, this is... this is very...

Look, I'm... I'm having a strange day.

We've met, though.

Do you remember?

You gave me a loan...

I have no record of that. You did.

I have no record of that. You did.

You gave me a-- a big loan,

I rented an office and my company...

Right...

Right...

Everything was really good.

Hey!

How did it go?

How did it go?

George? I think something's wrong.

What is it?

What is it?

We've done this before.

What do you mean?

What do you mean?

How did the meeting go? Terrible.

But we-- we've done...

..all this before.

..all this before.

We... we did this day.

We got married, gonna have a baby...

We're gonna have a what? Uh, people were gettin' sick again.

We're gonna have a what? Uh, people were gettin' sick again.

It was Christmas, it was really bad?

Have you taken something?

No! George?

No! George?

Sarah, I haven't taken anything. I...

I don't know, I'm just tired.

A little drunk, that's all. You didn't get the loan?

No, I...

No.

Could you just take it?

I don't need to. Please?

I don't need to. Please?

George, I'm not gonna take a test just cos you've asked me to.

I'm not pregnant, which is a good thing, by the way.

Why?

Why?

I don't know.

Er, it's just not a good time right now, is it?

Money's tight.

It's not something we've planned.

This is weird.

This is weird.

George?

George?

George, I want you to see someone.

Who? I don't know.

A psychologist? A therapist?

They can't help you.

They might.

What am I gonna tell 'em?

What am I gonna tell 'em?

Tell them about your dreams.

They weren't dreams, Sarah!