You're on Your Own (Arrangiatevi!)

This story of ours really did happen.

And, like all true stories, will seem incredible.

ln the time when in ltaly there was more rubble than houses...

.. and thousands of people without a roof to sleep under...

.. were taking part in a real house hunt,

.. those having had the good luck to find one available,

.. had to have it assigned to themselves,

.. had to run and announce it at the Department for Housing.

Hard times,

when to survive one needed resolve, a good eye,

and prompt reflexes!

- What's happening? - A painter got killed.

- She was stabbed 39 times! - Not once...

- Did she live alone? - Yes.

- At what floor? - The last.

- How many rooms? - 2,3... How should l know?

- But why do you care? - May l!

- Where're they going? - l've seen it first!

Oh, wait!

Hey!

DEAL WlTH lT!

Vittorio square, San Giovanni!

- Come on, kid! - Go!

Vittorio square, San Giovanni!

- Hurry up, ma'am! Come quickly! - Go!

Quickly! Let's go!

What's he doing? He gets towed?

What do you care? Now we're free! War's over!

- Forbidden! - Eh... - Scoundrel!

- Leave him alone... - lt's an abuse! He gets towed! lt's forbidden!

Taxi!

- Look what l'm selling! What stuff! Ma'am! - Taxi!

Get yourselves a hunter's jacket, hunters!

''HOUSlNG DEPARTMENT''

45 Pistoia st!

- l've said it first! - No, l was first!

- My house was bombed! - And l'm a refugee!

My house was bombed!

l don't like them, Peppino. They have mean faces.

They have high cheekbones, slavish. lt's only for a short time.

Be superior! ln one month they'll go back home!

Are we there?

Yes, father! Come up with the kids!

Of what class are you?

At your orders!

l'm saying, you, istrians, you are bilingual, vero?

At your orders!

- Come, go get me a chair! - Who are you talking to? To me?

Go get it yourself! l'm not your servant!

You've been saying: ''At your orders!'' for three hours, so l'm ordering you!

What orders? l take orders from no one!

Thirteen years have gone by.

Today, in ltaly there are more houses than lodgers,

but in 45 Pistoia st, last floor,

there are more children than beds.

Coming!

You, go to school!

Mommy'll take care of it!

Now we're going there, and clean you up!

- One moment! - Eh! Even if it was occuppied, what will happen?

That's it... Bravo... Here it is...

Don't blow your nose in the sink!

l've been saying it for 1 3 years!

lf you want to blow your nose, and don't want to use your fingers,

use, at least, the handkerchief! Pigs!

- What did you want, dad? - Ah, it was you...

- lt was him! - l was just saying: this mornin' they blow their noses so gently!

- May l? - Please.

One moment! l was first!

Alright, but hurry up, me have go work!

And me, wash! Me not at all like you!

Hide it! Here's father!

- Good morning, father! - Hi, Bianchina.

- Maria, the coffee! - Good morning, father.

- Hi. Already at work? - l have a delivery this evening...

Maria, the coffee! lt's late!

l've got 4 sit-downs this morning!

l'm sorry, dear, but there's no coffee!

Madame has drank it, by mistake!

What's the fuss?! l'll make it again! Have a little patience!

Maria, please,

forget the coffee, it's bad for the liver!

A nice glass of fresh water rinces everything!

Happy you! l'll bring it right away!

Here's your water.

By the way, it's our turn to wash today.

But she has already put all her laundry in the tub!

lt's not the end of the world:

if you won't wash today, you'll wash tomorrow!

- Yeah, sure! - Or another day.

- Easy said! - lt's simple! Be superior!

l always tell you that!

You're a lady, you've got more education!

Look what sun there is, what a beautiful day!

When the sun is up, this house is beautiful, beautiful!

- Bye, Maria. l'm off. - Bye. He's so irresponsible!

Still here? Damn it, how tough you slaves are!

And, please, don't blow in the sink! Go!

- What are you doing? - l'm sewing.

Grandpa, leave that poor old man alone.

He's the only one not bothering anyone!

lmagine l have something else on my mind!

- Mother! - What?

- Look! Do you like it? - When must you give it to... this champ?

Soon.

Then, go! But l don't know anything about it!

And so,

according to your backward mentality,

l'm the one who hung Nazario Sauro!

Us, we surely didn't!

lt was you for sure! lgnorant, who doesn't know anything!

Don't offend! Don't offend!

l only know one thing:

when Nazario Sauro was here with us, he was fine:

he was eating, drinking, having fun,

going to the cinema, etc.

He only just set his foot, for a second, in your region,

that he got it.

And stupid me,

standing on the Carso, through wind and rain,

fighting to free who? You!

Please, let's change the topic!

Listen...

What do you think of those Cardinals coming to elect the new Pope?

What do l care about the Cardinals?

- There's one 92 years old, like you. - And what do you mean by that?

l say, let's assume,

they elect this one as Pope. The other Cardinals don't want to go away.

How much can he hang in? A week? A month, tops,

and that being generous!

You jinx! You jinx!

O, no. O, no!

- You trespasssed upon 2 floor tiles! - Sorry, l didn't do it on purpose!

- O, no? - O, no!

Excuse, but if you take 2 tiles from the 22 existing, where's it goin' to end?

Aren't 1 2 tiles enough for you? Do you want 1 4, 1 5, 1 8?

What else do you want? Trieste, Gorizia, the Carso?

- What peace! - The peace of the soul is to be envied,

- dear Armentano! - l got that!

And l've even got a clear conscience!

Begin with the little toe. But don't press!

l don't press, but we're down to the usual:

we worked with the razorblade!

Oh, 2 thin slices that couldn't...

...ruin everything.

lf you go on like this, if you use the razorblade,

l'll give up the foot. - Nooo... - l insist!

- l was telling you about my family. - Yes, yes.

My eldest son is a graduated surveyor, but is in the army.

- He doesn't bring home not even a lira . - Unfortunately...

The other one has received the calling, thank to your interest.

l've sent him to seminary on half fee, but it still is an expense.

My youngest girl's studying to be a teacher. The eldest one is no genius..

.. and, thank God, she doesn't study. Therefore, one less expense.

And my wife? She doesn't understand anything.

- Women are strange, Monsignore! - Don't hurry up so...

.. with that thing? Fri-fri! lt's no pencil!

- Don't be afraid... - Monsignore!

- Monsignore! - Calamai, who let you in?

Who let me in?

Your benevolence permits me to consider myself by now..

.. a familiar of your household. Shall l hold your umbrella?

- No, no, thank you! - No, no! - Don't bother!

l've dared imposing on you for a really urgent matter.

- l'll only tell you the name. - Eh?

Saint George.

- Well? - Well?!

The life of saints in comic strips, for the spread of religious spirit!

Who knows Saint George? lf we don't do a little promotion,

- how will people get to like... - Oh... Oh...

What kind of ideas are these?

May l? My wife is waiting to kiss your hand.

May l? Marisa!

Marisa, come kiss the Monsignore's hand!

Marisa! Marisa, where're you going? Marisa!

She wears a Saint Rita medalion under her blouse.

And me a Saint Anthony the Abbot ring. Most faithful!

Well done, well done, but...

- l'll wait here! - But l'm busy! - Go ahead!

- Say... What were you saying? - Me? Nothing.

But weren't we talking when the gentleman...?

- Ah, l was talking about my wife! - Go on, go on! - Eh!

Dear Monsignore, you won't believe it, but the 7 0-80,000 lire ...

.. l need to get a house, l don't have it!

- May l, please? - On the other hand, cohabitation is no fun.

Those ones have 8 children. God bless them!

Throw them out! Evict them!

l'd wish! There's no pretext, dear... Saint George!

lf you want, l can give you the address of a lawyer, a friend of mine.

lmagine what kind of guy he is: he doesn't do these things for money,

but for the thrill of throwing people in the street!

Calamai, please, do something for me: go away!

Why? He hurts you and you take it on me, Eminence?

l've told you 1 ,000 times!

There's no way we can do that thing!

Before! Now, with the arrival of the new Pope, we can attack again!

No! lt's a thing l'm not interested in, it's something stupid!

You're a little nervous. l'll come back another day, if it suits you.

No, no, for God's sake!

An industrialist from Brescia who wants to build a couple of churches,