Friends

The way you crushed Mike at Ping-Pong was such a turn-on. You wanna...?

You know, I'd love to, but I'm a little tired.

- I'll put a pillowcase over my head. - You're on.

- Hey. - What's up?

Well, Mike's taking a shower, which, by the way, there's no law against.

And then we're gonna grab some food. So if you want...

- Finally. - Is that Ross?

Yeah. You can hear everything through these stupid walls.

- Sounds like he's with someone. - He could be alone.

This morning I heard him do pushups and then talk to his triceps.

Wait a minute, I think Phoebe's right.

Yeah, I hear someone else in there with him.

- Dr. Geller! - God, you're amazing.

I didn't even have to ask you to call me that.

- Oh, my God, that's Charlie! - She's cheating on Joey with Ross!

Oh, that tart! Floozy! Giant!

- I'm not sure about this. - Yeah, you're right.

This is none of our business.

I'm not sure it's the best way to hear everything. Get me a glass!

No, I'm not gonna do this, okay? I'm not gonna eavesdrop on my friend.

I love Barbados.

I can't believe I'm kissing you. I'm kissing Rachel!

I know. I'm her.

Rachel and Joey! It's Rachel and Joey!

- What? - Get over here!

Oh, my God! I love how thin these walls are!

Thank you.

The One After Joey and Rachel Kiss

Hey, before, you said that nothing could happen between us. What changed?

Well, I only said that because of Ross.

- And then I saw him kissing Charlie. - What?

Ross and Charlie?

Wow! She's really making her way through the group, huh?

- Eh, who am I to talk? - Yeah.

I can't believe this. Rachel and Joey?

How about the dinosaur twins in the other room?

- No one is manning that wall! - I'm on it!

- Anything? - I think I hear curtains closing.

We've got shoes being kicked off over here.

Bedsprings! Unmistakable!

- You realize that's your brother. - Not until you said it. Somebody switch!

Wow! Wait a minute.

Ross and Charlie. Joey and Rachel.

Phoebe and Mike. We're the only ones leaving with the person we came with!

That's not true. I came with Monica, I'm leaving with Weird Al.

Okay, I've had it with the hair jokes.

- Tomorrow I'm going to the salon. - Okay, Buckwheat.

You gotta hear this, it's great! It's like free porn.

- Is everything okay? - It's just... I don't think I can do this.

Oh, is it because of what might be on the bed?

- I saw that report, with the infrared... - No! No.

No.

Look, I need to talk to Joey. I mean, you guys just broke up.

Before anything more happens between us, I need to know he's okay with it.

- I completely understand. - All right, I'm gonna go find him.

I just need a second before I can, you know...

Grandma, Grandma, Grandma.

- Okay, I'll see you later. - Okay!

That's the door. He's gone.

And she's turning on the TV...

...and watching Miss Congeniality .

Honey? If you know it through a wall, you know it too well.

Hey, what are you guys doing?

We're just... We're sad to go, so we're just saying goodbye to the hotel.

I love you...

...Paradise Hotel Golf Resort and Spa.

Yeah. We had a great time, thank you.

Bye.

Okay. Hey, have you guys seen Joey anywhere?

He's probably in his room with his current girlfriend, Charlie.

That's the situation as we know it.

If you see him, could you tell him I'm looking for him?

- You got it. - Thanks.

Thank you.

Other wall, people! Other wall!

- Rach, you there? - Oh, my God, that's Ross!

- What are we gonna do? - Okay, just be calm.

For all he knows, we're just hanging out.

All right? So just be nonchalant.

- That's not nonchalant! - No idea what it means.

Okay, just hide.

- Rach? - Coming! Try under the bed.

There's no room under the bed...

- Is everything okay? - Yeah.

- Hey. Do you know where Joey is? - Hi.

I really don't.

- Can I talk to you for a minute? - Yeah. Sure.

I don't believe this. Have you guys been...?

This is the listening side of the wall.

Then she told me that she and Joey had broken up...

...and part of the reason was she had feelings for me.

Right. Yeah.

You know I've wanted to ask Charlie out since the day I met her.

Oh, I know, I know. That's been really hard for you.

Anyway, one thing led to another, and...

...before you know it, we were kissing.

How angry do you think Joey's gonna be?

That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.

I gotta find him. He's gotta be here someplace.

You would think.

Joey?

- Is he gone? - How are you doing this?

What? Hey!

What are you...? What is this? Have you been listening this entire time?

Yeah!

Now, what is this?

What is this? Well, let's see. We kissed for 10 minutes...

...and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade.

No, no. Have you thought about how complicated this could get?

- What about Ross? - Well, he's with Charlie now.

Yeah, but he wants to talk to you before anything really happens with her.

And as his friend, I mean, don't you think he deserves the same from you?

You're a pain in my ass, Geller.

Look, we appreciate all the advice...

...but this is between Joey and me. We can handle it.

We'll go. Will you do one thing for us, the people that care about you?

- Sure. - Enunciate.

Get out!

Are they right?

Probably, yeah. I mean, maybe we should...

...hold off until we talk to Ross.

Yeah. Yeah. We can wait. We don't have to do anything tonight.

Yeah, I think that would be best.

So, I'm gonna... I'm gonna take off.

- Although... - I like "although."

I mean, you know...

Ross and I haven't dated in, like...

...six years.

Six years?

Wow. That's almost as long as high school.

Plus, you know, he is with Charlie now.

Absolutely.

- He's not thinking about you. - No.

I'm thinking about you.

Yeah.

- Let's forget about Ross. - It's forgotten.

- What's wrong? - Nothing.

Seriously, what is it?

Nothing. It's really... It's nothing. Come here. Come here.

What's wrong?

Sorry, I just...

I can't seem to get Ross out of my head.

Well, maybe I can help.

Your lips are so soft. Do that again.

Yeah, we need to talk to Ross. Yeah.

Hey. You guys ready to go?

Not quite. Monica's at the salon, and I'm finishing packing.

Dude, you're not taking your Bible?

You're not supposed to take that.

Besides, it's a New Testament. What are you gonna do with it?

Learn about Jesus.

- Hey! - So did you talk to Joey?

No. I couldn't find him. I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane.

Okay. Sounds like a good idea, Dr. Geller.

Stop it.

Ph.D.

You're filthy.

- Hey. Have you guys seen Monica? - Actually, I think she went to the salon.

Oh, yeah. Oh, she went to the salon, all right.

Check it out!

Whose day just got better?

Chandler!

Hey!

- What do you think? - I think...

I think I can see your scalp.

Don't you just love it?

Yeah. Yeah, you got shellfish in your head.

It's something. You go, girlfriend.

- You never said that in your life. - Not once.

- I thought so. - Oh, and listen to this.

What do you know? It's a treat for the eyes and the ears.

Wow, it's kind of weird that I'm sitting next to Charlie after we broke up.

Yeah. It's almost as if Air Barbados doesn't care about your social life.

Does someone mind switching and sitting with Charlie?

Oh, I mean, l... Dude, I spent the whole conference with Charlie.

- I understand. - No, I'll do it.

Wish I could switch. I really don't want to sit with Allen Iverson over there.

Once we're in the air and the captain turns off the seat belt sign...

...you feel free to roam about my cabin.

And you should be careful when checking your overhead bins.

- Because items may shift during... - Oh, you're not good at this.

- Do you have to go home tonight? - No, I think I could come over.

It's Saturday, right?

What?

- I can't do anything tonight. - Why not?

I have a date.

- You have a date? With who? - Oh, it's my girlfriend.

- You have a girlfriend? - Yeah.

Well, when you and I broke up, I started seeing someone.

- Well, for how long? - Three months.

Three months?