Ricky Gervais: Mortality

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Wow. Thank you very much.

- -Oh.

Thank you. Okay.

Okay, shush.

Thank you.

Sh… Uh, uh, honestly, I'm overwhelmed, but shush.

-Thank you so much. -

- -Thank you. Um, welcome to the show.

It's great to be back with a brand-new special.

Um, my last special only dropped on Netflix the Christmas before last.

And in that special, I talked about the previous special going to number one

because of all the complaints.

And the silly cunts did it again. I mean…

When will they learn? It's like… Honestly. It's…

"Ban it. Ban it. Ban it from the…"

-Number one, everywhere. I… -

My name, like, trended for three days that Christmas.

I wasn't the only comedian who trended that Christmas.

Do you know the comedian Rosie Jones?

She's got cerebral palsy, and she was on a… a TV quiz show,

and the… the trolls came out on Twitter, going, "She's not funny."

"You're only saying that 'cause she's disabled."

"You're only defending her 'cause she's disabled." Back and forth.

But that wasn't her biggest controversy of the year.

This is a true story.

Earlier that year, Rosie Jones made a documentary for Channel 4

about her condition, her plight, some of the trolling she gets,

some of the insults she gets called, right?

And she provocatively called the documentary,

Am I a R*tard?

- -Yeah. Great. Power to her, right.

Now, the people who complained were disability campaigners.

They had a go at her.

They went, "You can't use that word." She went, "What? Why?"

They said, "Because you're physically disabled."

"That's a derogatory term for people with mental disabilities."

"If you wanna use a derogatory term, use one that describes your condition."

So basically, Rosie Jones said, "Am I a retard?"

And disability campaigners said,

"No, you're a spastic."

-That's… That's harsh, isn't it? -

I mean…

It's context. She was… She was using it to empower people.

She was called that. She didn't go, "No, that's not me."

She… she sort of embraced it and, you know, reclaimed the word.

So disability campaigners are saying, "No, you gotta be very specific."

"Only people who are actually retarded can use the word 'retard,'" right?

But who's gonna tell 'em? Who's… You know what I mean? Who's gonna…

You're not gonna go into a room and there's, like, Bubba sort of…

…lying on the floor, crayoning, right?

And you go, "All right, Bubba?"

He goes… "Yeah?" Oh, no, don't. Sh. Don't, don't, don't.

-It's a tightrope. Let's leave… -

He goes, "Yeah?" You go, "You know you can say 'retard'?"

"Why?"

-"Think, you thick cunt. Just think." -

Anyway, I think she should be allowed to use the word, in context.

If she can't use the word, then I…

I've used the word now, so I'm in trouble, again.

Actually, I didn't use the word. This is a point I wanna make.

People say, "Oh, he used the word so-and-so."

I didn't use the word.

Using the word would be calling someone that word.

That's using the word.

I said the word in a discussion about the fucking word.

That should be allowed, shouldn't it, amongst adults?

If there's one thing we should agree on,

whatever side of the political fence you're on,

we should all agree that free speech is still a really good thing.

-It always has been… -

…and it always will be.

But now there's factions of people going, "No, we got it wrong. We don't like it."

"We've changed our mind. We don't like free speech anymore."

"People who want free speech, they only want free speech

so they can go around saying awful things."

Which just isn't true, and even if it was,

the good thing about free speech is people can say awful things back.

It's a really good system, right?

And you can't say anything under the laws of free speech.

That's a total misconception.

There are loads of caveats to free speech, all of which I agree with, actually.

You can't incite violence. Good rule.

You can't slander people. Good rule.

You can't libel people, you know?

Fascinating fact about libel law.

You can't libel the dead.

So I could stand here and say,

"Gandhi used to take it up the arse."

If I wanted.

-Which I do. I do. -

But free speech is the most important human right,

from which all other rights come.

Without free speech, you couldn't have human rights.

We've got free speech, in theory,

in this country, for a little while longer.

We can criticize the government. We can criticize the police.

We should give props to a country that allows us to do that.

We're the envy of some countries.

In some countries,

you criticize the police, you get beaten up, or worse.

You criticize the government, you can be thrown in jail for life.

So they flee their oppression, quite rightly. So would you.

They flee and they come here. They go, "We wanna come to England."

We go, "Why?" They go, "Free speech."

We go, "Come on in. Welcome. What are you gonna do now?"

"Go on a march." "What are you gonna say?"

"How shit England is."

-"Cheers. Thank you. Thank you." -

-That is their… That is their right. -

But I'm, um… I'm too old now not to say what I want.

You know? I wanna say and do what I want all the time.

I wanna do my favorite thing all the time.

I don't even like doing my second favorite thing

if I think I could be doing my favorite thing, you know?

My favorite thing is play tennis.

I play every Friday. I keep Fridays free.

I look forward to it. I play tennis. It sets me up for the week.

So if ever on a Friday I have to do my second favorite thing,

like three weeks ago,

attend a neighbor's kid's funeral,

I'm like…

"This is

boring."

But we all want respect, right?

We all want respect,

and we all wanna raise our status in society.

We can't help that. That's in our evolution.

That's group selected from when gossip used to control the tribes, right?

And there's still two ways you can raise your status in society.

One, be competent at something.

Like, "Oh, he's a good hunter. Go with him. He's good for the tribe."

The other way you can raise your status is have virtue.

Like, "Oh, he's not a great hunter, but he's… he's wise."

Or "kind," or whatever. You know?

And then, with the advent of social media,

people suddenly discovered they could just say they were virtuous.

No evidence. No proof.

Just loads of flags in their bio, right?

And they would raise their status

by bringing other people down, catching other people out.

"Look what he said. He's not as virtuous as me."

"Look how good I am. Look how bad…"

That's where the term "virtue signaling" comes from.

And I hate it when they bring their kids into it.

You can believe what you want, have opinions what you want,

vote how you want…

Go on a march. Great.

But when I see a five-year-old holding a placard,

he doesn't know what that says.

That's the adult, you know? I saw someone tweet this once.

Someone tweeted, um,

"My four-year-old just looked up at me

and said, 'Mummy, why does Rishi Sunak hate poor people?'"

Never fucking happened, right?

But the most annoying thing about virtue signaling

is it's people being smug about having the morality of the age.

You're what you're like 'cause of where you are and when you are.

Like, it's not brave of me to be an atheist

in this country in this year.

It would have been brave 200 years ago.

Or mental.

And it'd be brave in some other countries, or mental. Right?

But people say things like, "Oh, I'm anti-racist."

"Yeah, well done. We all are."

We know that's the way to be now, but it wouldn't have always been.

If you'd been born in a different place or time, maybe you wouldn't have.

They go, "No, I'd have been an anti-racist whenever I was born."

People say things like… They go, um,

"Oh yeah, I'd have definitely hidden Anne Frank."

Would you? Would you?

Anne Frank comes to your door, in the war.

You open it, right? There's Nazis everywhere, right?

She goes, "Can I hide in here?" You go, "Whoa. What…"

- -

Just facepalmed Anne Frank, like that.

"Whoa. Wait."

"What happens if they find you?"

"Uh, they murder me, and you."

"Go next door."

"They've got a lovely big attic, a typewriter. You're gonna love it there."

But I'm anti-racist. Of course I am.

But I'm willing to admit that if I'd have been born 300 years ago,

and I was white and wealthy,

I'd have probably have owned slaves.

Because… No, 'cause…

I'd be nice to 'em, so shut up.

- -I'd be… Yeah. That's right.

I'd… I'd be the best slave owner you've ever fucking…