Mr. Pickles

Aah! Ow!

Wh... why are you killing me?!

Mr. Pickles.

You are a bad dog...

A very bad dog.

I want you to have dog sex to me!

- - Give it to me, Mr. Pickles!

Give it to me!

- Tommy: Pickles! -

Mr. Pickles!

Mr. Pickles!

Good boy!

S02E08 Vegans

Who wants some bacon and eggs with cheese?

Smells yummy!

Doesn't it, Mr. Pickles?

Mr. Pickles? I'm over here.

- What? - Mr. Pickles?

Mmm, I don't know how you do it.

Oh, you're just saying that.

- Hello. - Oh?

I'm going to need you to close the window

when you cook meat or dairy.

Huh?

I'm vegan, you see.

Vay-gan? What's that?

Vee-gan.

It promotes compassion for animals.

Oh, I love animals.

- - Oh, don't I, Mr. Pickles.

Mr. Pickles, you're supposed to be my dog.

Stay with me!

Maybe you should try being a vegan, hm?

I'm open to new ideas.

Then you're invited to the vegan headquarters.

I'll send you a limo.

- Uh... - See you there.

Hmm.

Oh.

Ahh. You made it.

I'm excited to be vir-gan.

Vegan. What's in the bag?

Oh, I brought a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch.

Orinduthias says I have to take this to the dungeon.

- Who? - He'll change your life.

- Shh! -

He's coming.

- All: V! - Who?

Orinduthias!

Or as the ancient vegans used to say...

hi.

We are here because we are...

All: Vegan!

Vegetarian.

I mean, vegan!

Because we...

All: Care about the animals.

Because we were on the e-mail list...

I-I mean, because we care about animals.

And we can help others become vegans...

- All: Also! - Too!

I mean, also.

Feast!

Oh, and try this.

Divine root.

It just looks like carrots.

It is.

Is everybody enjoying the feast?

It's kind of boring.

This vay-gan food isn't bad.

Vee-gan.

But it would be better

with meat and cheese on it.

We can do that?!

We can't do that!

I mean, maybe sometimes we're tempted to eat anim...

- 46 Crest Road. - What are you doing?

Thanks. Oh, I just ordered a pizza.

- - We can do that?!

We can't! We are vegan!

- I'm a vay-jan, too. - Vee-gan!

That's why I ordered my pizza half vee-jin

and half meat and cheese.

You're just not getting it.

You need to see the film.

- - Ooh, I love film.

This is really going to change your life.

That film's so scary.

So, what's for lunch?

I thought you were making lunch.

Me? Tommy, uh, what do you like to cook?

I'm 6.

- Hmm. - Oh, I wish Mom was here.

She'd make us lunch.

Hmm.

Tommy: Mr. Pickles!

Stay with me!

Together: Vegan.

Now you must watch the film.

This is really going to change your life.

Ooh, exciting.

Announcer: The following is footage from a real farm.

- Farm, farm, farm. - Jim, I'm a non-vagan.

Me too, Fred.

That means the animals have to suffer.

- - Ow!

No, please.

Stop killing me.

Ah! Oh, no! Don't make me suffer!

- Ha ha! - Please, don't chew my face off!

- Ha ha. - Stop torturing me!

Life sucks making milk all day,

but at least you've never slaughtered me.

- - Ow!

Why are you running over me with your convertible?

Stop it. I've had enough.

Horrific, I know.

Yes. There are much nicer ways to kill animals.

- - What?!

It's never okay to kill animals!

But how would you get meat?

You can't eat meat and dairy and be a vegan!

Maybe I can!

- Oh! - No!

They're two different things!

So are knitting and sewing, but I can do both.

Enough! Send her to the dungeon!

Orinduthias, I'm really enjoying being va-jan.

Vee-gan!

Uh, I think you're burning it.

I like the black parts.

How's the garlic bread coming?

Almost ready.

Uh, can we just go get Mom?

Oh, we don't need your mother to cook us lun...

- - Quick, everybody get in the fridge!

Tommy: Mr. Pickles!

- I said stay with me! -

Now you will be locked in this cage so you can see

what it's like to be a helpless animal.

This is really gonna change your life.

Ooh! Fun.