Deadwood: The Movie

Ten years gone, 'proaching that self-same hill

I thought to lay me down and rise no more.

- Oof. - (MULE BRAYING)

Give wide berth! That's just passed wind!

Possibly worse.

Before eyes close for good and all...

I'd once again see my Joanie Stubbs...

show her a sign of...

loving regret

from Calamity Jane to her darling.

And, too, at the grave of Wild Bill.

- Ooh. - (BOTTLE CLATTERING)

Oof, I've a left-cheek ass blister's

a percolating son of a bitch.

Good, right there.

- (GROANS) Morning, Boss!

Get me the gimp.

- Jewel! What?

Get up here.

Have something on the stove, Al!

Well, once you finish burning it, then.

Ho, ho, ho. - (DOOR SHUTS)

- Morning, Doc. - Morning, Al.

Uh, at liberty...

are you just now?

Why, you wanna dance?

- (STEAM HISSING) - (BELL RINGING)

What'd that be about?

Fashioning into telephone poles.

Ain't we got enough of them damn things already?

Plan's to put lines in every business.

Catch up with the times!

Out of sorts, would you say, Commander?

Half a stride short of fully fit.

Light, somewhat, a few pounds.

And some bit pallid, too.

Ah, Jesus, just shoot me, Doc.

Name the day of the week, Al.

The fuck difference does the day make?

I'd have you but say the name.

Tuesday then, you half a scarecrow-looking cocksucker.

Friday, it is.

- Oh. - (DOOR OPENS)

Mistaking Friday for Tuesday.

- Well, secure my burial plot. - (DOOR SHUTS)

Well, your temperature's two degrees above normal,

features drawn,

flesh of a yellowish cast.

Pending fucking developments...

I'd have you forbear from spirits.

- Under advisement. - Oh, no, no, no.

Don't you humor me, nor talk down to me neither,

nor fix to mix in where you ain't been invited.

Whilst you comport the very like to me?

You went somewhat wrong at your liver, Al,

is what you've God damn done!

Bar you being out-and-out blind,

you already know he's ill.

Minute past,

words to Dan, "Boss is looking poorly.

Out of sorts."

Don't he look outta sorts, you goddamn donkey?

- (HEAVY BREATHING) He is to forbear

from spirits of any kind,

- until he's assayed and diagnosed. - (SIGHS)

- (COUGHING) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER)

You know he'll just endeavor

to import spirits in off the street?

Well, you're not to allow it!

That's easier told than saddled and rode.

Well then, go ahead and hang him, goddamn it!

Blow his fuckin' head off!

Save us all some time!

Wrong side of the damn bed!

Mrs. Ellsworth! Charlie Utter.

- (LAUGHING) - Oh my.

What a grand surprise after such a piece of time.

For me, Mr. Utter, as well.

Sofia! Come on!

Am I past my place, Ms. Ellsworth,

asking if it's banking brings you back these parts?

Banking, yes.

My interest in the Deadwood Bank,

which is an expanding institution...

Few years back, Mrs. Ellsworth,

bad manners like that woulda lead

to a lesson in courtesy!

Continuing grateful

for hard-won maturity.

Sofia, a gentleman wishes to renew acquaintance, Miss.

Charlie Utter saying hello to Miss Sofia.

The 10 years went past like...

- (SNAP) -somebody snapped their fingers.

Hello back, Mr. Utter.

- It's lovely to see you again. - Thank you.

Hey, I'd be happy to convey you all

into Deadwood camp in my wagon.

As we would be for the transport,

and your good company.

Oh well, come on.

I hope we're in time for the statehood celebration.

Go as quick as I'm able. Hey, sweetheart.

Help you with that luggage.

Very kind, I'm okay.

Well, I assume you'll be staying in town, darling.

Pardon me.

There a price we can offer for that information?

You have me wrong.

Oh, there you are!

Hello there. - (QUIETLY) Looking for a ride. I can pay.

South Dakota marrying the United States.

Oh! See, they're paying attention, Seth.

- Morning, miss. - Morning, Papa.

Bullock clan ready for the statehood festivities.

Are you ready, husband,

considering the visiting delegates include

the senator from California?

To celebrate, yes, I am.

I'm tempted to believe you.

Statehood pancakes coming out!

Clear the way!

All right, all right, little man.

Single-minded, this boy, like his old man.

A virtue in your estimation.

Lord, bless these gifts we ready to receive,

and grant us grace to meet level-headed

what challenges may come this day...

no matter the provocation by lesser

or evil men.

- (KISS) - Amen.

Amen. - Amen.

On this day

- of our statehood celebration... Hear, hear!

...we honor a man who with unexampled generosity

has give of himself to our Deadwood community.

Though no longer residing amongst us,

he calls California now his home.

The man bases his considerable mining and real estate interest

here in Deadwood, South Dakota.

I ask you please

to greet with me now, the honorable

junior senator from the great state of California,

- George Ambrose Hearst! - (CHEERING)

- Good morning to all! Morning, Senator!

And great thanks to Mayor Farnum

for his generous words of welcome.

It moves me greatly,

returning after years have passed to witness

the changes wrought

by time,

ingenuity, and invention.

- Though none would deny the facts Excuse me.

And the cost of a past,

we who gather have known together...

Some portion of which must still

be measured in blood.

Yet, the Deadwood community

does enter its adulthood...

And don't our spirits raise,

you murdering, conniving,

thieving cocksucker.

Resourceful and resolute,

a vital part of the new-made state of South Dakota,

and this state

a vital part of our fine country.

Amen to that!

Thank you, Senator!

Hotel's but two rooms short of fully occupied, Trixie,

with the parade yet still in full swing.

Congratulations then, Mr. Star,

to you and Marshal Bullock.

Maybe mark the moment braining me with a fucking brick!

I'd sooner put a ring on your finger.

Once first we've seen does the baby survive.

That being, in your scripture, matrimony's single

reason and purpose.

Ain't we already awash in the miracle

of a whore of my vintage being pregnant at all?

- Well, why not wear a sign, then? - (SIGHS)

Dress in red, head to toe?