Fool's Paradise

I need money and I need jobs.

So is this... Is this a thing you can provide?

- Yes. - 'Cause you said you could.

I... I'd like to do one TV spot,

- maybe, could you... - Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Could you get me on one of the Jimmys?

- Yes. - I need money...

- Yeah. - And I need opportunities.

And I wanted to get...

I want to get into the comedy clubs,

like the... The Laughing Hut.

Yes, I could totally see you there.

And can you... can you get me into these places?

Yeah, I can get you into all those places, buddy.

- Yes. - Yeah, like, I need...

But I need that to happen, like, now.

I need something to happen finally, you know what I mean?

- Yes! - Okay, so let's go.

- Make it happen. - Hey, I get it.

Look, fame, fortune, that's everything

and don't let anybody tell you otherwise,

because without that, you're nobody.

But you can't do it alone. It takes two to tango.

Okay, I feel like you're not listening to me or hearing me at all.

No, I hear you. You're in a rut.

You're not booking. You wanna make some changes.

So, we'll find a new agent, new manager,

and, you know, maybe you could shake things up too.

Like, work a dummy into your act or something.

I hear ventriloquism is making a comeback.

It's not. I don't know who told you that.

- People, and it is. - No, it is not.

Yes, it is.

Find a puppet that looks like you.

I can see it right now.

That's not a thing.

- It is a thing. - No, it's not.

- It's a great thing. - What are you talk...

What is this? What is this...

This puppet suggestion?

Look, it's been months, okay?

And you've brought me nothing.

Nobody. No agents, no managers.

You've introduced me to zero people.

Well, it takes time.

Yeah. I'm not sure I even know what you do.

What do you do?

What do you mean "what"? I do it all. I'm your guy.

You said you're a publicist, but you don't even have a website.

- There's no phone number to call. - No, I am. I am.

Oh, excuse me...

- Are you a publicist? - Yes. Eight dollars?

- You are? You're a real publicist? - Yes.

- You have other clients? - Excuse me, I'm counting.

One...

Two...

- Three. - I'm letting you go.

- I'm moving on. - What?

- You're fired. - What about us?

- What about our relationship? - "Us"? What does that mean?

- What about the tip that you promised? - There is no us. The tip?

There is no us. You care about yourself.

You don't care about me at all.

That is not true. No, I think of both.

I need you.

I don't need you.

Fine! Rip my heart out, why don't you?

No, I don't need you, anyway.

I'll find somebody better. Just you wait and see.

I'll find myself a real somebody.

The patient, essentially, is nobody.

No family, no friends.

His condition is quite frankly bizarre, to say the least.

He has the mind of a... A five-year-old,

or say a Labrador retriever.

Understanding very little

and allowing himself to be quite easily led.

Observe. Patient, would you stand up?

Stand up. Yeah, up, up.

Yeah. Perfect.

How about you maybe put your hand on your head?

Can you do that for me? Yeah, put your hand on your head.

On your head. Yep.

Now your nose, your finger on your nose.

Yeah, yeah. Right. How about your chin? Do that?

How about for your... Can you find your ear?

Yeah. Great. Have a seat.

You can have a seat now.

Have a seat.

No, no. Sit. You're done.

Here you go, just sit down. Yeah, you're good.

You're good. We're done. No, no, you did great.

You did wonderfully. Good job.

- See? It's... - What do you think it is?

Age regression, perhaps?

We do think it is that, in part,

possibly caused by some severe trauma,

the loss of a loved one. It's hard to say.

The patient has lost the ability to speak.

- I see. - He's not deaf

and he's technically not mute.

His case is medically undefinable.

Is his condition reversible?

You know,

with a proper amount of care

and a lot of exposure therapy

and neurophysical cognitive therapy,

and if he were to have one meaningful connection,

yes, it's possible that he could regain his understanding of the world,

his ability to speak, his... his emotions.

Fascinating.

So, what's our first course of action?

Well, the state is not gonna pay for any of that,

so we are gonna put his ass on the first bus downtown.

Hey, Don, it's Lenny!

You don't even know why I'm calling you, buddy.

Okay, that, yeah, that is why I'm calling you. But listen.

No, I'm just talking about representation.

Hello? Oh, man.

Geez, Louise. Geez, Louise!

Mikey. Mikey, please.

I just... I'm begging you.

I just... I need a client.

No, you're getting personal.

I am a real publicist, Mikey.

No, I get people things.

What? Are you kidding?

No!

God!

Hi, Armando.

Yeah. How you doin', buddy?

Oh, shoot.

Hold on, let me call you back.

Hey, it's Lenny from Starmaker Publicity.

I'm sorry, I just don't see your name on the list.

Which film production are you with again?

I'm with the...

You know me, I'm a big-time publicist, so...

- You said that. - I mean, well, you know,

I'm not some bozo that you know, just...

I... I'm sorry. I'm afraid I don't...

Okay, look. I can give you some money.

I mean, just a little bit. I mean, not now, but down the line.

Look, I find the right client, I cut you in on the profits.

Bing, bang, boom. We're somebodies.

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Okay, well, wait, wait, wait. Okay.

I'll give you five dollars. Please.

Just let me on the lot, please.

Please let me on the lot. Please let me on the lot.

Please let me on the lot. Please let me on the lot.

What? What do you mean he won't get outta the trailer?

I don't know, he said he lost the character.

You know what? I've had it with his method acting bullshit.

It's just all nonsense.

All he's gotta do is go hit the mark, say his words and that's it.

Spencer Tracy said that.

Good enough for him, that's good enough for me.

- Put him on the phone. - I tried already.

He said phones weren't invented yet.

Trailers with air conditioning weren't invented yet either,

but he doesn't mind sitting in one of those all day.

- Fuck off. - Well, production's at a standstill.

- Fuck off! - They need you to think of something.

Please. Now.

Holy shit.

Get in.

Come here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get in.

Get in. You... you speak English?

Come here, I got a job for you.

Come on, this is gonna be good.

Come on, I promise you. Yeah, yeah, there you go.

You should have brought some. That's okay.

Latte. Pronto.

Got it.

Get Booker a latte as fast as possible.

Updates?

Mr. Bingsley's still in his trailer.

- Sir. - Excuse me?

Remember to call him Sir Bingsley.

I don't want another episode like last time.

Sorry, Sir Bingsley's still in there.

We've been shooting second unit stuff,

but the rest of the cast is getting a little irritated.

Nobody's... nobody's walked.

Chad Luxt went for a drive to blow off some steam,

- but he said he'd be back. - Is he sober?

- For now. - All right. Christiana?

She's fine. She's Skyping with the government of Uganda

about a charity visit or something.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on.

So, what's the plan?

Him.

Look at that!

Sir Bingsley. May I come in?

What the hell kind of highfalutin name is that?

I answer to one name and one name only...

and that's Billy the Kid.

All right, Billy the Kid.

Okay, what... Hang on,