When You Finish Saving the World

Yo, yo, yo, it's TheRealZiggyKatz here.

Just want to saydobry dzien

and happy Wednesday to my friends in Minsk,

andni hao and happy Thursday to my tigers out in Liajing.

Xie xie for waking up so early.

And of course, dhonnobad

to all my devoted Chittagong gals,

glad to see the floods

haven't affected your internet connections.

Y'all look super clear and ready for a show.

Today, I'm debuting a tera lift new song

for my favorite people in the whole, wide world,

My Hi-Hat fans.

Here's for the birthday girl!

Yes! Oh, thank you!

Oh, look at that. Looks good!

Evelyn! Have a piece of cake!

What's the occasion?

It's Leslie's birthday!

Yup, I'm 21!

Some of the women can hear the singing.

Oh, no, really?

Yes, I'm doing intake

with a new resident and her two children.

Shit. It's my fault. My voice carries.

Me too. Sorry, Evelyn.

We'll try to keep it down.

Okay.

And we'll clean up before your 3 o'clock.

Thank you.

Congratulations on your birthday, Leslie!

There's a tajine in the oven.

Did you have a good day?

Ah, a woman came into the shelter today.

She was about 26, her kids were eight and four.

Last night, her husband came home

and locked the kids in the basement

while he assaulted their mother upstairs.

The police came and only spoke to the husband.

Luckily, the eight year old

recorded the audio on his phone.

So, you know, every cloud, right?

How was your day, my dear?

It was very productive.

Good, I'm glad.

Ziggy?

Woah, that was the first time

I ever played that song.

I can't believe it went so well.

I hope you guys had as much fun as I did.

Remember to up note me in the corner,

and if you like what you heard, feel free to tip.

And there's the early bird, Ludmila!

Nishrita, coming in close second!

And not to be done outdone,

graciasto the Huertos family for all your generosity.

You guys are all tera lift!

So make sure you all come back next week

where I'll be debuting a new song

about a girl that I like at school.

This is TheRealZiggyKatz, thanks for tuning in!

Mom!

Mom, did you try to open the door

while I was live streaming?

Ah, motherfucker.

Dad?

Yeah? Did Mom try to open the door

while I was live streaming?

I don't know, ask her.

Mom, did you open my door while I was... Shit! Sorry.

Did you try to open the door while I was live streaming?

I'm taking a shower, Ziggy.

Did you?

What's "live streaming?"

Where I basically make all my money.

Where thousands of kids

who are desperate to hear me perform

log on every week and tip me and up note me

and I'm one of the highest performers on the site.

Well, that all sounds

very impressive. It is.

And, uh, what do you plan on doing

with all that hard-earned money?

Uh, spend it.

On what, my child?

I don't know. Probably a new guitar

and a new mic and probably a better translation software,

because I want to play for African kids

and they have like a hundred different languages there.

So you're going to use the money you make

from playing your songs

to buy more equipment to play your songs?

Yeah.

Well, that's a tautological nightmare,

don't you think?

What?

Well, it sounds like you're on an exhausting loop.

Have you thought about an endgame?

Oh, an endgame?

I don't know, I'm gonna be rich

and you're gonna be poor?

Oh, you're going to be rich?

And I'm going to be poor?

Yeah, just don't open my door again.

When you're live streaming? ZIGGY: Right.

Right.

Hmm. And the hearts of palm.

Wow. Where'd you get the chicken?

Patsy's farm.

She also had a surplus of tomatoes, which I bought.

Oh, very good.

I'll make a gazpacho tomorrow.

I mean, it's basically giving the guitar away.

To get a Strat from that year at that price

is basically free, you know?

Just make sure you don't play the blues!

What?

You don't play blues music, do you?

No, I play folk rock.

Classic folk rock with alternative influences.

I don't know what that means.

Well...

I could play it for you.

I just debuted a new song, Truthaches.

I could show it to you. What did you say it's called?

Did you say Truthaches?

Yeah. Do you want to hear it?

Well, I'm assuming that we're

not your target audience. ZIGGY: Right.

I mean, it's geared towards teenagers, am I right?

Yeah, I... Sure.

Because it's incredibly unethical...

White people playing blues music.

Did you ever read Amiri Baraka?

Who? Roger, please.

Because he's very explicit on the issue

of cultural appropriation. Jesus Christ, Roger!

Dad, I don't play blues music.

God, just shut the fuck up.

Okay, okay! I was just...

I was just saying.

Hey, Mom, can you drive me today?

Are you ready to go now?

Yeah, just give me, like, five seconds.

You're on the city council,

how difficult is it

to get some goddamn painters in here, Homer?

We have women coming in, it's the middle of

the goddamn night, they have nowhere to park their cars.

We're talking about two white lines on the fucking asphalt.

Um, Ms. Katz?

I just wanted to let you know I just did outtake.

Hold on a second, Homer.

Yeah, I'm going home.

Well, to my sisters,

but I'm getting out of here.

Yay, me!

That's wonderful, dear!

Can I give you a hug?

Um, yes. Of course.

You saved my life.

You saved my daughter's life.

I'm very proud of you, dear. Very proud of you.

I'm sorry about that, Homer.

What? LILA: No, no, no.

The US not only ignores human rights abuses,

but they purposely, maliciously profit off them!

And the worst offense

is this sanctimonious, savior complex

where we're distributing our morally superior values

to the unwashed masses,

like they're just, sitting around the desert

waiting for someone to descend from the heavens.

But what would you rather,

for China to swoop in?

Or maybe Russia?

Or maybe some other amoral actor?

It's not like the US steps out...

Yo, Z, you want a hit?

No. Shut up, I'm trying to listen.

Starts handing out free bread.