Resident Alien

Previously on "Resident Alien"...

- What are you doing? - Sorry.

- I'm married. - Sorry about that.

You're not getting your ball back.

I've hidden it where you'll never find it.

Where's Murphy?

"If you ever want to see your dog again,

return my alien ball."

Ball!

Who took it?

We just picked up a signal--

lines of encrypted code, but the signature is alien.

Seriously? What does it say?

It's a phone number

from New York City.

Demelio's Pizzeria, East 3rd Street.

Pack your bags. We're going to New York.

Open up, it's me.

Harry.

- Sam? - I can't do this anymore.

It's gotten way out of hand.

All right, take it easy. What's--what's wrong?

This is what's wrong.

Is this supposed to be some kind of threat?

They sent me the same things--

photos of Isabelle, Liza.

When we went to that charity thing in New York,

they said that the money was for the clinic--

a donation, they called it.

Well, this doesn't feel like a donation anymore, Harry.

- Okay, you need to calm down. - Calm down? I can't calm down!

They're threatening our families!

We need to go to the authorities.

And tell them what?

Anything you say could also implicate us.

Is that what you want?

We don't have any concrete evidence.

- We have the medical records. - That's not enough.

We cannot cross these people without an actual plan.

Okay.

You keep bringing me the records,

and I'll work on digging up some more proof.

Just give me a few months, okay?

Sam, I promise.

Two months.

Sam Hodges was just here.

He's threatening to go to the police.

What do you want me to do?

"Mayor Ben's Major Bomb."

Man.

"Experiencing Ben Hawthorne's Family Day play,

"you feel as if you're standing in a mine

"holding a stick of lit dynamite,

counting down the seconds until it's finally over."

I don't read the "Patience Post,"

and neither does anyone else 'cause it's a garbage paper.

Yeah, well, maybe nobody else reads it

'cause you got all the copies here in your office.

The town deserves the truth,

you know, not lies written by a girl I went to school with

and hates me 'cause I'm great at times tables.

Uh, 6 times 5 is 30. Still got it.

Yeah, you still got it.

But maybe, uh, you should keep reading, though.

Look at that.

Jessup is trying to build a five-star resort

to boost tourism. - Great.

I'll get revenge on their mayor by stress vomiting

in their Michelin star restaurant.

Well, man, not if it's your restaurant first.

I mean, the resort company's still in the scouting phase.

Who says it's got to be Jessup?

That Grady property up on the ridge

is already begging to be developed.

A resort? Huh.

Could be a great way to increase tourism,

you know, get some money coming in.

Exactly. More tourism, more revenue.

I can get that air fryer for the break room.

Health is wealth. You understand?

Huh. Yeah, I'll-- I'll poll the town,

see if the idea resonates with people.

You know what?

That's a great idea. - Yeah.

And you should also get a banner

to fly all over Colorado that says,

"Please steal our resort idea."

Hmm. Not sure the sarcasm is necessary.

Look, I'm sorry, all right? I'm just tired, you know.

Cletus is in this humping stage.

You know, I had to spend half the night

defending my easy chair.

Speaking of, do you know anything about, uh,

getting stains out of couch cushions?

I mean deep stains.

No, you know anything about getting disgusting images

out of my head?

No.

Don't tell nobody about that resort idea.

It doesn't matter what clothes you wear.

You're still gonna be covered in that gross skin suit

when you meet this alien.

You're just jealous because I discovered

another alien who is my people, my real family.

You are just a distant cousin who lives in a mobile home.

Hey, cousins are real family.

I'm at least more family

than that dumb land seal sitting next to you.

Do not talk badly about this beast.

When I give him treats, he is happy!

When I give you shrimps, all you do is complain.

All I said was,

"Could you serve them with a smile?"

Close the shutters.

Dark storm cloud is approaching.

- Ah, ha ha! - Eat shit, bottom-feeder.

We fly later tonight,

but I maxed out my credit cards,

so eat a lot before you go 'cause we can't afford food.

Money is not a problem.

We can just take some from the money bag.

Yeah, sure.

What the...?

Where the hell did you get all this money?

It came with the house.

And there is one coupon

for a free sundae at Mrs. Peaches Ice Cream.

Do you know where I can find this Mrs. Peaches?

Harry, houses don't just come with duffel bags full of money.

What is this?

Holy shit!

It's Sam and the real Harry Vanderspeigle.

That is the daughter-child

b-before her hair turned green.

Look, Sam wrote Harry a note.

"Harry, you wanted more evidence

- "against Galvan/ - Powell Group.

Here. Call me."

These are Sam's medical records.

What are they doing here?

You didn't see this at the bottom of the bag?

I got distracted by the coupon.

- Who the hell - is Galvan/ - Powell Group?

Okay, people do not just carry this much cash on them.

And--and if they do, it's because they stole it

or they were paid to do something illegal.

He was a bad man.

Yes.

Real Harry killed Sam, so maybe, uh,

- Galvan/ - Powell Group was behind it somehow?

But why would anyone want to kill Sam?

And why did Sam give Harry his medical records?

And why do you have a dog?

I'm a dog person now.

I was just looking at the call logs.

Did you know that there were three separate phone calls

about a meteor a while back?

Yeah, I think I know where you're going with this,

and I'm not liking it.

Sir, I just think that we should consider

that maybe it wasn't a meteor.

Maybe it was a U-- - Deputy, no.

- F-- - Please don't. Please.

- O. - Damn it!

You're supposed to be an officer of the law.

Sir, I just have a strong feeling

in my gut here, and you always told me

I should trust my gut.

Deputy, look, I appreciate mystical creatures, all right?

I really do.

Well, except for mermaids.

You know, where they get off sitting up on the rocks

all high and mighty,

expecting you to ask them out on a date?

I mean, why they so stuck up?

I mean, if you have fish,

you gonna smell all like fish, you understand?

- Gross. - Look, here is the deal.

You want to hunt for aliens? That's fine.

You do it on your time, not mine.

Yes, sir.

- Thank you, Ed. - Wow. Nice song.

Get in here. What do you want?

You want something that burns the chest

or burns the throat?

Actually, uh, I'm here in a mayoral capacity.

I need to borrow one of those ATVs tomorrow morning.

That doesn't sound very mayoral.

What's it for?

Uh, well, I-I just need to update

the, uh, Patience website.

Wanted to get a-a few pictures of the Grady property.

Oh. Okay, great.

Well, um, I'm off work tomorrow, so I can take you.

No.

No, no. No need to do that.

You know, I mean, I prefer to ride solo.

You know, bit of a-- bit of a lone wolf.

Like when you crashed your tricycle

into the pond when you were seven?