Resident Alien

Previously on "Resident Alien"...

How could I not remember?

When people experience a loss of time,

it's often because they've been abducted by aliens.

I'm an alien.

We are very good at changing people's memories.

FBI. The murderer is not Harry Vanderspeigle.

Guess what--you're not getting your ball back.

I've hidden it where you'll never find it.

Abigail Hodges, you're under arrest

for the murder of Sam Hodges.

I have built a radio.

The signal will tell my people

not to come and kill everyone...

for 50 years.

- We need to stop it! - No!

It's receiving a signal.

It's a phone number from New York City.

- Sunny went into labor all of a sudden.

- I can fix it. - Let the doctor do his job.

- I've held a lot of babies since Jay was born.

- I understand now why you feel guilty.

Go after him.

Flush him out. I'll meet you on the other side.

I got it.

Police, drop the weapon!

Shit.

Dispatch, this is unit 92. I got shots fired.

Need backup at my location.

Jesse! Jesse! - Copy that.

Backup en route.

Jesse?

Jesse?

I got an officer down.

Mike.

Come on, man, I know you're in there.

Bill, I can't do that, man.

Mike, you're the only one he would have trusted with him.

- You take care of yourself, okay?

- Thanks. Thanks, man.

I miss him, too, Cletus.

Welcome to your new home.

1,900 miles--

that's how close I am to New York City,

to one of my people.

1,900 miles from standing in front of a being

who knows what I know...

who has stood in the ice wind desert as a child.

I am different now.

Asta knows this version of me,

but I am 1,900 miles from being with someone

who knows the alien part of me--

the real me.

So why can I not dial this number?

- Hey. - Oh.

Hey.

- It was nice to talk to you last night.

Kind of felt like old times again.

What? - Oh.

- W-what--what are you upset about?

Nothing happened. All we did was talk about Jay.

- Yeah, I know. - Asta.

- I shouldn't have come here. - I did--

Please, you don't have to go. - Yes, I do.

- Nice seeing you at Laurant's last night.

- I saw you left pretty quickly.

You know, if there's ever anything

you want to talk about, like, no big deal,

but you can talk to me.

Thank you, Deputy.

Now that you mention it,

I'd like to know what you've been scribbling down

in your little notebook there.

You doing another solo investigation?

- Do you remember my dress you picked up from the cleaners?

The one I don't remember dropping off?

- And what dress you talking about?

You talking about that green dress,

or you talking about that dress you talk about every day

like it's some kind of government conspiracy?

You have to admit it's weird.

- Basically the whole day is a blank.

Do you remember it? - I mean, no.

But I can't remember what I had for breakfast this morning.

You know, ask me what color socks I'm wearing.

- What color socks are you wearing?

- Well, actually, I'm wearing black socks

'cause that's all I own-- is black socks.

But if I did own socks that was a different color,

I wouldn't remember what color I was wearing.

You know why? It don't matter.

- Sir, you might want to look at this.

- What the hell she doing? That's Miss Taylor bike.

Oh, shit. Hell, no. Hell, no!

Hey, get off that bike! Get off that damn bike!

That ain't your bike. - Come on, Sheriff!

Hey, I can outrun that bike!

Ellen?

Hey, Ellen, can you cover for me?

I got to take care of something.

- Sure. - Okay. Thanks.

I won't be long.

Close call.

Almost as close as you were

to getting your eye poked out by a tree.

- In my defense, I had just had dinner with my parents.

Also, that tree was waving pretty wildly.

- Listen, as a medical professional,

I suggest you drink a little less.

But as a single bitch living in this dead-ass town,

I suggest you invite me out next time.

Wow.

All right.

- Yeah, there's more of that. - Okay.

- What do you mean you got a phone number from an alien?

Why didn't you tell me sooner? What did they say?

- Well, I did not call. It might be a trap.

It's not a trap.

- If you worried more about traps,

then you would still be in the ocean

instead of in a box of water in the mountains.

- Does this thing have to keep popping into my head?

- You think I like it in there?

It's darker than the woods in a Tim Burton movie.

- You shut the hell up about what's in my head

and stop putting the TV on in front of this thing.

He's not calling

because he's afraid his people will reject him.

He's worried he's too human.

That is a lie!

Liars do not get food. - I'm kidding.

Can't you take a joke? It's obviously a trap.

Good octopus.

- Okay. We don't have any other leads.

And if we don't do anything, everyone is going to die.

So, if you don't call that phone number, I will.

Fine.

Okay.

Mm.

- Hello. Can I talk to the alien, please?

Mm.

He hung up.

He knows my mother.

And they had intercourse.

- Demelio's Pizzeria, East Third Street.

Pack your bags. We're going to New York.

- I cannot go to New York. The octopus is right.

I have changed. I am too human.

What if the alien will not help me?

- I heard that. He just admitted it.

Get out of my head.

- Well, answer it. It might be them.

Hello?

- Morning, Doc. It's the Sheriff.

Hi, Dad.

- This is weird-- she looks like me,

if I fell face-first into a pile of metal.

- At first, I thought she was just

some hippie drifter from Boulder,

but, uh, then she showed me this right here.

I remember this.

This was the day she sat on my knee,

and we looked at the camera,

and that person took our photograph.

- Yes, the daughter you've been telling me so much about,

from your first wife before Isabelle,

and her name is...

right on the tip of my tongue.

Um, I think she said Liza.

Liza is her name.

- Liza is her name. - Mm-hmm.

I'm very fertile.

This is my sweet little girl.

- Well, we caught your sweet little girl

trying to steal a bike.

It turns out she's got a record

for shoplifting in, uh, New Mexico.

Her mama sent her to a camp for troubled teens,

but she ran away 'cause she's troubled.

She also pulled my hair.

It didn't hurt, though. I have strong roots.

- Are you even aware of what's going on

with your daughter, Doc? - Yes.

Thank you for arresting her and throwing her in jail.

- Well, hold on--I don't think there's any need for that,

at least not yet.

I'm all right with releasing her into your custody.

No, you throw her in jail.

He's joking.

He'll take her home.

- Is this how humans feel when they have a child--

angry and resentful for having to care for a tiny thing?

If she were a pet bird,

I would leave the cage door open

and the ceiling fan on.

- So, Liza, boot camp, huh? Why were you sent there?

- Murder. - Cool.

Maybe we should call your mom, have her come pick you up.

- Good luck-- my mom is in Italy right now,

getting fingered on a Vespa.