The Letdown

- - Shh, shh, shh.

- It's OK. It's OK. That was fun.

I was really... I was sharp.

I was like funny and now I just feel really blah.

Like I think I am just missing the party version of me.

Like especially this week, I've just been feeling

quite brain dead, yeah.

- Oh, that really resonates. Hi. Hello.

Welcome. What's your name?

- Audrey. - Audrey.

Hi, Audrey.

Oh, Audrey, Scott from the back lane.

- Hi. - How are you?

- How are you? - Yeah, good.

Where am I? Oh, wow.

- Umm... - _

I've got the wrong...

- What day is it? - It's Tuesday.

Uh-huh.

I am so sorry. I have got the wrong meeting.

Well, you're welcome to stay.

I mean, there is, like, no judgments here.

You don't have to speak.

You can just listen. Sit down.

Sit down. Sit down.

- She is one of my regulars. - Scott.

- No, I'm not. - Denial.

Thank you. I am so sorry. I'll just go now.

Oh, she's asleep. I'll stay.

Umm, just for a bit, if that's OK. Ooh, carrot cake.

- Later. - OK.

There was such a... like, a willingness to share.

- It was really refreshing. - Yeah.

It's full-on though, hey. It gets pretty real.

But, hey, I will miss seeing you

around when I am doing the...

Oh, are you still driving this one around?

- Yeah, haven't cracked the sleeping. - No, I am still dealing.

Oh, no, fuck yeah. I am still dealing. Yeah.

I just... I just want to get to a place

where I am not eating my profits, do you know what I mean?

- Oh, that must be tricky. - It's not good.

Have you thought about a different sales job?

No. No. Sales?

I mean, with this profit margin,

it would literally be a crime not to do it.

- You know what I mean? - Hi.

- Hey. - Hi, Audrey.

- Uh, want to come for a laksa? - Actually, why not?

So we'll need a bonus question for a round of drinks.

Answers on the back of your coasters, please.

One of Beethoven's piano concertos

was nicknamed the Moonlight Sonata.

- Which one? - Number three. Yep.

- Really? - Yep, number three.

Moonlight... Moon...

- No, that's not right. - That's not it.

- That's not it. - Change it, then.

No, no, that's not it. Nup. Nup.

Alright, if you had written number 14...

- 14... you'd be A, correct, - 14.

And B, a total nerd.

Oh, hi.

Sorry, guys, last minute all staff meeting.

- Lots of fun. - Oh, I hate those.

Aud, you're lucky you don't have

to deal with that crap anymore.

Maybe I should have a kid.

Done.

Nup.

If I am getting bored at home, you would be like...

... even more bored.

Where were my words?

Hey, come in and see us at work sometime.

I will. That's a good idea.

- Hey, is everything OK at work? - Yeah.

Yeah. How we going?

We were leading thanks to these guys.

But then we missed a financey and then a Mozarty one.

Beethoven.

And we missed a Lady Di question.

Kindergarten teacher?

- Yes. You're incredible. - We're tied.

OK, round three. Question one.

Name two countries land

locked by two countries only.

Your category, Audrey. This is all you.

- Oh, God, two countries only. - Come on, Aud. Bring it home.

Um...

Land locked.

Land locked. Two countries.

Two c...

Umm...

I should know this.

- Yep. You should know this, Audrey. - OK, I just said that.

No, just do your visualisation thing. See the map.

- Yes, I'm seeing. - You seeing it?

It's just a bit blurry. I just... My memory...

It's just like I'm buffering. It will come.

- I'm gonna lose my meat tray. - It's not your meat tray.

It's our meat tray and we're not going to lose it

because I am a geography whiz.

- I am thinking. - Yes, think harder is all I am...

- A. - Yes.

- - I am just getting her dummy.

She's tired.

- It's a Balkan country, I know that. - Yeah?

Land locked.

It means land all around it. No access to the water.

- Locked by two countries only, Siri. -

Siri, repeat question.

Here's what I found on the web for,

"What two countries are land

locked by two countries only?"

Thank you, Siri.

That's an automatic disqualification.

Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Aud.

- You want a suspension? - Sure.

- No, we didn't know, I swear. - We were just trying to work it out.

- That's a one-week suspension. - Ooh, tough guy.

I can make it two.

I don't care because everyone just

Googles things nowadays anyway.

I bet that you just Googled these

questions. No-one needs to have the...

OK, OK, I'm done. Sorry. Can you please not suspend me?

That's a disqualification for the High Brows.

Fuck.

Fuck it.

OK, is this disqualification, just to be clear, for this lady

or is it for all of us?

- Can I join another team? - All of you.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

OK, you can come back next week.

The numbers aren't strong enough to

really keep you out for too long.

- Thanks, mate. - Appreciate it.

I am surprisingly nervous.

Excited nervous.

You needn't be. You're going to be great.

You pop on the jacket.

God, you look good in a suit.

- I'm close. Are you close? - No.

- What, you're not? - No.

This usually works.

Yeah, but it's not working.

Can you do something? Can you just...

Just hold me?

Yeah. Yeah.

No, not gentle.

I mean like harder.

You know, just grab me.

Just grab you, like asphyxiation?

No, I don't mean strangle me, Ruben.

I just mean, you know, rough it up a bit.

OK. Just wait, wait, wait.

OK, what about, um...

What about... that, huh? What about that? You like that?

Yes. Now we're cooking.

- Aren't we? - Yes.

- Shut up. Shut up. - Huh?

Just stop talking.

I am close. You got to be close?

I am not... I am not close.

- You're not? - No.

Fuck. Do you want me to go...

- I'll go down on you. - No, I can vaginally orgasm.

I know. You're very lucky.

It is not luck. It's anatomical.

Did you just come?

I think I might have.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think I did.

- Do you want me to... - Mm-mm.

And there are other benefits to touch.

It stimulates their central nervous system,

their digestive system, their brain.

Are the babies going to do us next? Only fair.

I have a very sore neck, Stevie.

I seriously need something.

Like a technique for mental stimulation.

Yes. I am starting to think I

fell over in the birthing suite.

- I feel permanently concussed. - Really?

I feel more creative than ever.

Like I was up all night editing my birthing video.

- It was pretty gruesome. - I actually try and do Sudoku daily.

Is that the one with all the numbers?

- Only nine. - Oh.

Oh, yeah, and I highly recommend the

caption contest in The New Yorker.

- Wanker. - Sorry?

Yeah, I can't afford another subscription.

I'll email you the page.

Thank you. That is so nice.

I've got a good feeling about this week.

No point, love. Baby brain. It's gone for good.

Surely that's a myth.

No, it's not.