Honor Society

[Noa Kirel's "Bad Little Thing"]

You like my--oh.

Like my stuff?

It's all bullshit.

I don't care about them,

but these are the gods of my people,

so either I worship them, or I'm an outcast.

These pictures, like the ones on my social media,

are there for one reason, so people will envy me.

Girls want to be my friend, and guys just want me.

I'm having so much fun, right?

This might be the only real thing in here,

"The Handmaid's Tale,"

a story about a woman named Offred,

trapped in an oppressive, male-dominated society

where she doesn't have control of her fate.

Unlike Offred, I do have control of my fate.

I'm getting out.

- My home, it's fine, but when I finally leave it,

it'll be for good.

Breakfast to go.

Banana bread, just like you like it.

Thanks, Mom.

This is Janet, my mother, who thinks bread is love.

Mmm.

Good morning, Dad.

If you say so.

- My father, Marvin, holding down at least three jobs,

a white whale whose white whale is a wooden monstrosity.

Deck looks great, Dad. - Closing in.

It's gonna be done soon. - No, it's not.

It's a fantasy of his that he'll finish

and get what little downtime he has relaxing on it.

That day will never come.

- Marvin, you're gonna be late for work!

I know.

- Did you hear me? - I heard.

I know. - Oh, you heard.

- These two people screwed once and made me.

Ew.

I'm a senior.

I worked all my life to get here.

Everything is in place.

I just need to get through this year,

and then I'll get my golden ticket to the Wonka Factory.

Like Offred in "The Handmaid's Tale,"

I've never revealed who I really am.

To survive--

all: Hello.

I hide within myself.

- Tommy Daney texted me last night.

Can I get an Amen? both: Amen.

- Did you text him back? - Of course not.

He's in high school, and I save my hand jibbers

for real men.

- Well, I wouldn't mind a piece of that.

Do you care if I text him a pic?

Talia and Emma,

the most popular girls in school.

No.

- They've got all the tea, kept me from being associated

with the less thans, and in this hellhole,

they're all I have to work with.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, God.

Hey, ladies.

Thank you for your help. - Sure.

- Here is a flyer for my show. - Did not ask.

- A flyer is like a tweet that ruins the environment.

Oh.

I'm gonna tweet that.

- We have got to go and see Mr. Calvin sing, right ladies?

Sure.

Promises, promises.

And, Honor, I will see you later in my office

for some big news.

- Did Mr. Calvin just wink at you?

Yes, gross.

But big news, bodes well. Fingers crossed.

- All the way crossed. Selfie.

- Mr. Calvin is my guidance counselor

and the key to the whole thing, but let me lose these two

and give you a little background.

See you guys later.

- Love you. - Mean it.

They do not mean it.

For me, high school is about one thing,

getting out of high school.

Delete this first paragraph. You don't need it.

The student newspaper was cut from the school budget

like a million years ago, so last year I volunteered

to put a new one online.

Editor-in-chief of the school newspaper

is a good thing to have on my record.

I'm also captain of the volleyball team.

It's not a big sport at this school,

but I'm not a born athlete,

and so I'm lucky it's a lousy team.

Travis Biggins.

In a different reality, he'd be my boyfriend.

If I wanted him, I could have him,

but no time for love.

On top of volleyball and the paper,

I started a food bank for the economically disadvantaged.

I also started a school karate club--hi-ya!

While never letting my grades suffer.

Ms. Felson, I think there's been a mistake.

I don't think so, Honor.

Oh, you're right. That's not yours.

I'd lose my head if it wasn't screwed on.

- And she's one of the better teachers.

Now, you're thinking, "She'll get into college no problem.

This girl's got nothing to worry about."

Let me show you why you know nothing.

Ms. Felson, we're not far from here,

went to college-- Smith, I believe--

graduated sometime in the last century.

Took on all the causes at the buffet,

from boycotting lettuce to women's rights.

She was going to change the world.

Came back here to watch her future die.

Go.

Coach Biggins.

- You know what, you guys are so slow.

I was gonna call this team the Old Ladies,

but the old ladies be like, "Hell, no, we ain't that slow."

- Also a native, went to Syracuse University

on a lacrosse scholarship.

You gotta whip it like this.

For one man.

Wow.

I can't believe that's even the same guy.

Dah!

What you waiting for, a blowjob?

Get going!

- Now look at him. Lives through his son, Travis.

Go.

- So, class, what have we learned?

It's not just about going to college,

it's making sure I don't have to come back after college.

All my examples went to good schools,

so it has nothing to do with getting a good education.

It's about prestige, contacts,

the place that's going to open the most doors,

where mediocre people get outsized opportunities,

and where the genius who wrote this book

fulfilled her potential, where I'm gonna go.

It's been a four-year plan,

and it's coming to a close today.

- I think the second draft is terrific, Honor.

It is--wow, it is so good.

It's all thanks--

- It's all thanks to you, Mr. Calvin.

I mean, without you, I wouldn't have even known

how important my college essay was

to getting into a good school.

No, stop it.

You know, Honor, if I had to use a metaphor,

I would say that it's like I taught the music class,

but you played the song.

I love a good metaphor.

- Well, that is just another thing we have in common,

and soon enough, we're gonna be finishing

each other's metaphors.

- Now, let's take a look at your college list again.

I know.

Why am I kissing up to this guy?

There's a clue.

This is the place I have to go,