Preacher

Seventy million circumcisions every year.

That they report. And that's just in this country.

Think about that.

You know what, Cassidy? I don't want to.

Seventy million baby boys' foreskins, right?

Severed, harvested, piled up.

Shoveled into bloody warehouses,

and you don't wanna know what they're using them for.

Who's the "they," Cassidy?

The oligarchs.

It's big business.

Hey, this guy of yours we're gonna go see, what's his deal?

Mike's an old family friend.

If we're looking for God, seems like a good place to start.

So, he's like a God detective, right?

Like, some kind of spirit tracker,

bounty hunter kind of family friend?

He's a religious scholar.

Just reads a lot.

Huh.

Well, that sounds like a fun place to start.

Skin grafts. Skin grafts.

We know they're putting foreskin in skin grafts.

It was on the Oprah Winfrey Show.

And they're putting it into the face creams you all use, the girls.

Hold up. They do not put foreskins in face creams.

Yes, they do. It helps bloody collagen or something like that.

Cassidy, that is a lie.

You'd feel those itty-bitty foreskins on you.

What you feel is smoother, younger-seeming skin. See?

And that's how they hook you. Just gotta think about it.

- You do have nice skin. - Shut up.

This is such a bad song.

Shite.

Come on, Eileen...

Bollocks, I just lit this.

How fast were you going?

Ninety-seven.

It's cool.

I'll just pull over

and do my Afghan war vet thing.

Yeah, you could do that.

Seriously?

It's up to you.

We're low on gas.

Don't do it then.

I love a car chase.

Come on, Eileen

Oh, I swear What he means

At this moment

You mean everything

You in that dress Oh, I swear, I confess

Verge on dirty

Come on, Eileen

Come on, Eileen

And you'll hum this tune forever

Come on, Eileen

Oh, I swear What he means

At this moment

You mean everything

You in that dress

My thoughts, I confess

Verge on dirty

Come on, Eileen

It's a good song.

Yeah. It's all right.

- You happy now? - Getting there.

You're cute.

Wanna go out some time?

I'd like that.

Get out of the car!

There's gonna be a plan, right?

Sure.

All right, freak.

Drop the grass and the umbrella, right now.

Mmm-hmm.

But I need the umbrella, otherwise I burst into flames, see?

Drop the umbrella. Now!

All right, well...

All right, let me just get me thing...

No, hands! Hands!

- Let me see your hands! - Just relax.

- I'm just gonna grab me sunscreen. - Let me see!

I just wanna grab my...

Give me your hands!

You bastard!

- Keep your hands in there. - Hey, be careful, be careful.

- Thanks ever so much. - 'Course. Anytime.

Nice bloke.

What the hell are you doing?

But he said he'd catch fire.

Idiot...

Guess he was telling the truth about needing that umbrella, huh?

Come on out here, boy.

Wanna ask y'all some questions, out here in the sunshine.

No, no, no.

- Don't. Don't. - Stop.

Holster your guns.

- The hell'd you just say? - Shut your mouth!

Step over there.

You.

Gas up our car.

You.

Mace your balls.

You two hold hands.

And you,

recite The Yellow Rose of Texas.

There's a yellow rose of Texas

I'm going down to see

No other soldier knows her

No soldier, only me

She cried so when I left her

It like to broke her heart

And if I ever meet her We never more will part

No, I don't like that.

Like what?

That thing of yours. That thing that made me kiss you.

Genesis.

Whatever. I don't like it.

You rather we just shoot our way out of this?

Be fair at least.

That thing ain't even fun.

It's kind of fun.

Something that gets in your head

like some kind of smoky brain hand,

and makes you do things? Uh-uh.

- "Smoky brain hand?" - Whatever.

Look, my point is, how would you like it?

Get Cassidy and let's go.

Everybody, down!

Sniper! We're in the open.

Smoke!

Cease fire!

Help!

You talk about your Clementine

Stay down!

God damn it!

- What kind of gun is that? - I don't know.

Maybe I'll make him tell me.

Time to go.

I'm not leaving my car.

Where's Cassidy?

I'm not leaving my car, Jesse!

Then you better siphon some gas.

Siphon? With what?

How about that?

- No way. - It's up to you.

I gotta find Cassidy.

- Ready to go? - Yes, please.

Go! Go, go, go!

I gotta get the taste out.

My Lord.

What the heck you folks get into out there?

Is that...

Is that intestine?

All right, I'm gonna call the cops right now!

There's no cops left!

That son of a bitch shot them all.

We don't want any more trouble.

So why don't you just pretend we weren't here.

Mmm-mmm.

Here.

Trust me.

Hello.

Come here, you little beauty.

Still no reports of survivors

in the blast that destroyed a small Texas town.

Authorities are calling the explosion...

Hi.

All right.

I got bottled water... Juice, some, uh...

Yoo-hoo and hot sauce.

Hello?

All right. I'm ready. Let's go.

Fine.

Did you see that back there?

It was like we weren't even there.

- Everyone okay? - Sure.

What the hell happened up there? Was that us or the cops?

We didn't do anything. Why would anybody wanna shoot at us?

Have you not been paying attention?

Your boyfriend's got a bloody superpower.

There's all kinds of folks gonna be coming out after that.

"Superpower." Please.

No offense to our superhero and his superpower,

but maybe we just showed up at the wrong place at the wrong time.

We're in Texas.

They pretty much grow dumbass crazy here.

I don't know. Padre, what do you think?

We have a job to do.

If I see him again, I'll deal with him.

But for now we keep going.

Unlucky start is all.

That's what it is.

That's what it is. It's an unlucky start.

Nothing but smooth-ish sailing from here on out, Padre.

- Hey, Cass? - What?

You got some cat fur.

Oh. Thanks.

Ginger?