Rosalie Goes Shopping

He's crazy.

He's absolutely crazy.

-Good morning, Christian. -Morning, Rosalie.

He's crazy, isn't he?

I wish I could whip up something this nice every morning. Yes, sir.

Wall Street is very quiet these days.

From your admirers at American Credit.

This German coffee could raise the dead.

Even breathes new life into my old bones.

You and old? Come on now.

And be careful with the zeros before the decimal point.

Hello?

Rosalie Greenspace.

My card was stolen.

Yes, I have the number.

4-0-2-4-6-5-3-4-5-8.

And all withdrawals have been stopped?

Great, thank you. Have a nice day.

That's young people for you.

First he wants to save up, and now he wants to buy something.

I want to deposit this into my account. For the interest on my loan.

$100, $200, $300, $400…

Still warm.

Have a nice day, Rosalie.

-How's your new house, honey? -Great.

$574, sweetie.

Plus taxes.

I'd like cash this time, hon.

Your checks are a bit too much for me, darling.

Okay.

No problem.

Hi, Burt.

I got it already.

Thanks, Burt.

Have a nice day.

Hi, darling!

Hi, Rosalie!

How's your back, darling?

It's okay.

The old girl…

The old girl is great. Just great.

She's completely changed.

-Hiya, lovebirds. -Hi, Darryl.

Hi, Darryl.

I spoke to my father today.

Guess what? They're finally going to visit us.

I talked him into it, the old penny pincher.

I guess he'll never learn that Mom just wants what's best for him.

I'll take it to the bank right away. Think of the interest. See ya, darling.

Bye, Rosalie.

What time is it?

Never mind.

How was school?

We brought the check back, Mom.

The one for the school books?

-Yes, Mrs. Cottles says it bounced. -Bounced?

Don't worry, I'll send them a new one.

-All the best, girlies. -Thanks, Mom.

Cutie will be here at 5:00. I'm going to confession.

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

My last confession was yesterday.

-Is that another new perfume, Rosalie? -Yes, Father.

That's theft. You know that.

I just take my commission.

It's like a little gift.

Gifts are given.

Not by this manager.

You have dozens of them already.

But I use them all.

-I love collecting perfumes. -Rosalie!

It's not enough to go to confession all the time.

You need to repent, too. Truly repent.

-And to want to better yourself. -Yes, Father.

-Good. Say three Hail Marys and-- -Father.

Yes?

I forged a document, too.

Another check?

Yes, Father.

Do you always need to live in the lap of luxury?

What Arbuckle from the shop tells me is unbelievable.

Cutie is going to be a head chef one day. He just needs practice.

-Is my car ready yet? -Hello to you, too.

-Hi, Mom. -Hi, Barbara.

-It's not ready yet. -You didn't sell it, did you?

No. Not exactly.

-Mom! -You're getting the latest model.

When?

-I got you a leasing deal. -When, Mom?

And guess what, I can trade in your car, for cash.

Someday I'll report you myself.

-Hi, Mom. Hi, Barbara. -Hi, Honey.

Well, that's the end of this all-purpose blender. Hi, Mom.

It looked great on TV.

-Hi, Mom. -Hi, Honey.

Can you believe it? I got a haircut in Little Rock,

-and she just came with me. -Who?

-Hi. -This is April.

Come on in. Dinner's almost ready.

Whose car is that?

It's my new vintage car.

Where'd you get the money for it?

Your car is beautiful, too.

It was!

Stop filming me.

I just wanted to ask what you want for your birthday.

You really wanna know?

I'll tell you exactly what I want.

-I want a PC. -What's that?

A personal computer, Mother. And not just any PC.

I want a PC 276X.

The same thing they have in the rice mill.

Does that answer your question?

-Hi, girlies. -Hi, darling.

Hi, darling.

-Hi, cutie. -Hi, darling.

-Hi, sweetie. -Hi, darling.

What's with the weird names? You said his name was--

My mom loves giving us pet names.

-What do you call your father? -"Darling."

-"Darling"? -It's her favorite term.

Sure.

-Hi, honey. -Hi, darling.

-This is April. -Hi.

-Hi, Rosalie. -Hi, darling.

So.

-Is it like this every evening? -You bet.

-Whose turn is it today? -Barbara's.

-Hi, Barbara. -Hi, Daddy.

Go on.

Okay.

Honey?

Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest. And bless what you have bestowed.

-Amen. -Amen.

-Why are you praying? -It's part of our religion.

-Are you Pentecostal? -Catholic.

What's the difference?

-You go to confession. -Huh?

You confess your sins, and then they're not sins anymore.

That was snail soup with tarragon, crème fraîche and…

And?

-And a dash of brandy? -You guessed it.

Snails? Really?

-So where are you from, April? -Little Rock.

How much was it?

I'm from Bad Tölz.

-How much? -It's a beautiful place in Upper Bavaria.

How did you get to Arkansas, then?

I'm a war bride.

Ray was a reconnaissance pilot with the army in my home town.

-We fell in love. -And we're still madly in love.

But I don't get it. Why can't he tell anybody?

The priest? He's bound by confidentiality.

You mean, like a doctor?

Yeah, something like that.

-And what if he tells people anyway? -The Pope would dismiss him.

This is guinea fowl pâté with a dash of Cumberland sauce.

Homemade Cumberland sauce.

Wait. Do that again.

Tell me how much it cost.

Come on, Barbara. It was only $9,000.

Thank you.

-Catfish. -Catfish.

Looks great.

This is Arkansas White River catfish with sorrel sauce and saffron.

And wild rice. Don't forget the rice.

Excuse me, please. One moment.

Prepare to be blown away.

I like this last "blub" the best.

What do you think?

Dolby Stereo. Recorded today.

You'd never guess the age of the old girl.

I got her all fixed up.

It was hard work, but…

But…

It was worth it.

It was totally worth it.

May I have some ketchup, please?

-Hi, lovelies. -Kiddo is here!

-Hi, Mom. -Hello! How's everything in Bavaria?

You've grown so big! I haven't seen you in ages.

Hi! How did you get here?

-I took a flight. -Are you hungry?

I've cooked a big meal today.

Girlies!

Did you see my '57 Chevy?

-Yes. -It's gorgeous.

-It's yours? -Yes.

Dad.

-We were expecting you tomorrow. -I wanted to surprise you.

-Go, set a place for kiddo. -Sure.

I'm so glad you're here.

Looks just like how it's done in Bavaria.

Hey, Mom, come on, I'll show you something.

-Tell me, what is it? -So what is it?

-A video. -A video? From Bavaria?

-Yes. -Waitresses at the beer garden?

-Cutie, come join us. -Coming!

-Now. -Yes.

-Look. -Miss Piggy!

Where did you record that?