Papa Bear (Мой папа — медведь)

Can I do it?

No way.

When you pass the safety test, then you can do it.

Why are you even here?

I need to raise it twice higher.

What now?

Yes, hello?

All right then.

Yes, I'll be there in 20.

What if I move this?

Ten, if there's no traffic.

Should I go lower?

-Do it. -Or raise it?

Can't lower it.

We need to return the car in two hours.

Back to work!

Vincent, it's urgent.

Damn it, third time this week!

If you leave now, don't bother coming back.

I'm tired of you.

You think work just comes so easy?

No, it doesn't, but please understand.

My daughter's camp just called.

They said there's some emergency there.

Oh, no!

Ugh!

Oh, man.

- Can't you see? - Now what?

The car's not going anywhere.

Are you still alive?

Mm-hmm.

Oh, well, that's a fail on your safety test.

I have to go now.

Come on, sweetheart.

Good day.

Not a good day.

Finally, you show up.

You, just look at this.

I also have teeth, and nails, too.

I'll use them if needed.

I'm glad for you.

Keep away!

If you try to come even one more step closer

I'll shoot everyone here.

I'll show you the neighborhood of the Wild Northwest world.

- Got it? - No, no, no.

Oh, Daddy's already here.

I told them that you're some crazy animal

and that you'd kill for me.

-Come on! -You stay away, psycho.

Um, um, listen, I'm sorry. This is all a misunderstanding.

He even got a doctor's note yesterday.

Come on, Dad, tell them.

Yes, I did, but it's from a dermatologist.

My hands get really dry.

So yeah, maybe I should--

No, no, please don't, I'm begging!

There's no place here for the weak.

Careful, little girl.

-Be careful, watch it! -Mila! Careful.

-Oh, oh, oh. -Ah, oh!

Oh, sorry, Dad. Stay away!

No, no, Daddy, wait!

I'm not yet done firing at them!

I'll be back!

I'll pay for everything.

Daddy!

At this age, another separation from the umbilical cord occurs.

So is my brain from my body.

Remember that denial is part of growing up,

and that's completely normal.

Don't be a dictator with your teenager.

-Hmm. -Try to be a friend instead.

But here's the good news for you.

They actually act out tough and powerful--

Mila, so I wanted to talk to you about...

...the umbilical cord.

What?

Do you hear me?

Ugh, mm.

Anyway, I hit a rough patch.

Well, not me, but us.

B-- but don't worry. What's important is we're together.

We're close, and I'll always support you.

As they say, together, we will pass fire,

and brimstone, and whatever else.

Mila?

Mila?

Mila!

Mila!

Mila! Princess.

Why are you bothering me?

There's water everywhere because of you.

Now you clean it up.

Can you please stop touching your face, Dad?

Doing that is so unhygienic. Just quit it!

All right, sunshine, let's talk. What's going on with you?

Why are you silent?

Damn it!

Cat got your tongue?

Mrs. Anderson, what now?

Look, I have something. This here is Bulgakov.

This is Jack London, and this Rabindranath Tagore.

No idea why I have that.

Oh, that's great.

What are these for?

Perhaps you can use them as wet wipes instead.

Also, we, the homeowners, are suing you right now,

so you and your out-of-control daughter get evicted

on this house.

Listen, ma'am, she's not out of control.

She just...

..missed her yearly tune-up, so she's a little rough

around the corners, you know?

She's a good kid.

It's just I'm alone and drowning.

And that's the result.

You spoil her.

I'll just send you the last bill.

-Mrs. Anderson! -Mrs. Anderson.

That crazy old hag again. What did she want now?

Yeah?

Or is there something wrong with you?

You were kicked out of dance and music class before.

That bloggers' workshop kicked you out as well.

I showed them the right way of doing it,

but they chose to ignore what I said.

We should play at music class, not just reading notes.

What they teach is unsatisfying.

Same with the bloggers' workshop.

I said, "Let's shoot a video," but they went,

"The key to perfect blogging is by doing it like this,"

blah, blah, blah.

Such BS! That's absurd! Bunch of idiots.

Maybe neither.

You're on break. What'll I do with you?

No idea.

I do.

You need to go to Nerdland now.

Wait here.

To Nerdland? What would I be doing there?

Go read!

There, Bulgakov, Jack London,

and this one, whoever that guy is.

Get dressed.

Can you tell me where we're going?

We're going to a place where you can't torture anyone.

Not true, because you'll be there, too.

Get up.

I said get up now.

Hey!

Forgive me for this, but I hope you'll be gone for a while.

Just dream on.

Hurry up, Dad.

I'm sorry. Kids.

Oh, yeah.

Hot dogs, hot dogs, delicious hot dogs here.

Hey, ah-ha, ah-ha, ah-ha, hot dogs.

Delicious hot dogs, so tasty.

They are super--

They are amazing and to die for, and they are cheap.

Hey!

- Ah! - Hey, hello, sir.

Hi, how are you?

Fill her up. This monster doesn't like this gas.

I'll be back. You got it?

...hot dogs at the gas station.

Trying to hunt a bear?

Uh-huh.

That peashooter won't do anything.

If you wanna kill a predator, you need a proper gun.

These woods have real bears.

You need to be careful.

Oh, ow! Come on, girl.

-Jesus. -You're a natural.

And then you need to break his neck, okay?

All right. Hi, sir.

You want a hot dog?

Hey, they're delicious today. Come on, hey, t--

What the--

Whoa, dude, come...

What? Are you crazy, dude?

Come on, that's not cool.

Why did you do that?

What's wrong with you?

Your drink with marshmallows, and hot dogs with no mustard

and extra pickles.

Uh-huh.

You behaved?

Uh-huh.

Right.

Dad, why are we in this place?

To buy some kind of animal feed, or maybe grasshoppers?

Let's just go home, I'm begging you.

I just want a hot shower and play video game.

They're way more fun, you know?

What do you mean, shower?

The neighbors are remodeling, thanks to you.

We're finally here.

-You're kidding me. -You heard me.