Helluva Boss

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on

Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit SHIT!!!

Well if it isn't the deadbeat

Well if it isn't nurse pussy face

You aint gettin in here

How many times do I have to sodomize you with a taser before you take a hint?

As many as it takes to get me off, now enough with this foreplay, where's Barb?

She checked out months ago, but that ain't none of your business

Wait what? How? this is- wh-where the fuck did she go?

Yeah, like I'm gonna tell you ass clown

You know I kill people for a living, right bitch?

Oh I'm SO FUCKIN scared...

Ugh... Fine

Blitz, she's got a job now, a life.

Don't fuck it up by finding her

Oh that's nice, why don't you take that advice and shove it right between your pussy LIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiips

Sir! There's a client here who wants to-

I'm sorry, you were saying?

Well, its just that I'm sure one of the other camp counselors killed me

I'm just not sure which one...

How could you not know?

I was out on the lake when my boat started to sink.

Someone had drilled holes in it

The counselors are the only ones with keys to the boathouse, and they're the only ones who knew I couldn't swim.

It had to be them

Hmm, we don't typically do investigations, I'll have to check with the boss

Uh, pardon moi sir.

Not now Mox

Sir, there's a client that needs us to investigate his death, and we don't usually

No tiiiime

But sir, we really need the cashflow, and I was thinking maybe-

What part of "NO. FUCKING. TIIIIIIIME." do you not understand?

Just handle it yourself

You want me to lead? On a hit?

I swear on all that is evil Mox if you aren't out of my office in negative 3 seconds-

Yooou GOT IT SIR!

We'll take the case!

And I'll be handling this investigation personally

Honey are you sure? What about Blitz?

Honey, honey please. Blitz put me in charge this time

He did?!?

Oh! I mean, He... HE DID!

Right! And this is going to be the cleanest, most well prepped, most surgical hit we've ever had!

Don't worry sir! We'll find your killer

And give him what's coming to him

And/or her

Or they...

Why the fuck wouldn't she tell you where she was going? I mean, did you even ask?

Wait hold on, I'm getting another call... Hellooooooo

Oh Good, did you find-

Really, where?

Thanks, and I promise if we ever get a contract on your children

We'll make it quick and painless- BYEEEEEEEE

Mox...

Are you sure this isn't a little... much

It's my first lead Mills

It has to be... perfect

Now in front of you, you'll find a comprehensive guide to your cover persona

Memorize it. We've got a lot of work to do

Okay Millie, one last time for safety

I'm Moxxine, the hottest, most popular girl at my school, and you are?

Your brother Millerd, I like sports and fuckin bitches

Hm, you know these kids are a bit younger than I was expecting

Maybe lose that last part

Check!

Alright, I think we're ready

Hey Mox!

Check out that shady lookin fella over there

I think that's our guy

Ahem, Millie... I hardly think pointing out the first guy you see is the proper way to conduct an-

No that's definitely him. That bags full of money, and drugs, and what looks like a drill one would use to poke holes in a boat

But- But that's all circumstantial at best!

We need to methodically eliminate all suspects until we can be sure

Now he's lookin around and heading into that locked boathouse we heard about

That would be the perfect place to-

Fine Mox... we'll do it your way

With my sleuthing skills and your killer eye

We should have this wrapped up in no time

Now, we just have to find the kids with the most influence

Oh... Target. Aquired.

HEY!

So he snorted a whole line of ground up mints, and tried to convince us he was high

Can you EVEN believe him?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh that Derek! What a riot! Riiiiiiiight?

Um, who the fuck are you?

I'm Moxxine, I'm the prettiest girl at my school

And all the boys want me

My favorite coloooooor is hot pink

Because normal pink is sooooooooo-

Basic

I like horses, puppies, fast cars, jewlery-

And I got my first period last year

And it was SOOOOO HEAVY!

I guess I'm just more mature than your typical preteen...

So, you wanna be frieeeeeeends?

The fuck is wrong with your legs?

Wha- Um Oh! I um- uh...

I was in an accident?

The same accident that fucked up your skin?

You look like you spent three years in a tanning bed

It's uuuuh... Natural?

Ahah! Yeah, you wish.

That botch job looks like it cost five bucks in an alley behind Walmart

Get lost you fucking freak!

But I- eeeeh...

Mean Girl: Oh my god! WHO is THAT?!?

Look how beautifully tan he is

WHAAAAT?!?

I GOT IT!!!

That was...

The best spike I've ever seen...

Please... I need medical attention

First Aid is for WINNERS!

Oh my GOD, he is so fucking HOT!

Oh! Ya know he's my brother

FUCK OFF TROLL!

Hi, I'm lookin for one of your employees, her name is Barbie. Does she work here?

Wait what? Who are you?

AAAAGH

Someone who's gonna get reeeal creative if you don't tell him what he wants!

Where is she fucknut?

I know you know! It only gets worse from here asshole!

Okay! Okay! She's out on a pickup!

Where?

Mox! Did you see? I broke the record on the course!

Mhmm. I saw.

Can you believe this? Everyone LOVES me, they're cheering, -

they even posted videos of me online. LOOK!

OOOH MOXXIE THAT WAS SO FUN! No wonder you sing all the time!

Not exactly low profile...

I know... but it's kinda nice havin people cheer for me for once ya know?

Instead of SCREAMING in PAIN and HORROR

Don't forget what we're here to do Millie

I havn't. I'm just waitin until you're ready...

Have you been able to eliminate any suspects?

No of course not

I can't get anything from anyone because they're too busy swooning over you

If you want we can go off the guy right now!

I think he's alone in the cabin-

NO!

I have to do this right

I tell you what...

Why don't you try winning them over with something you're good at like I did?

How about your music?

I can even help you since they already love me

Yeah... YEAH!

That just might work

Millie: Ya'll wanna hear a SOOOOONG?!?

Crowd: Yeeeah!

Alright! I know you all like me, but Moxxine is the real deal y'all

Let him-heeeeer tell ya all abouit it!

MOX!

Thank you...

Moxxie?

You okay?

GO AWAY!

Moxxie what's going on?

NOTHING! ITS-

IT'S JUST MY TIME OF THE MONTH!

Honey... no.

I just wanna go home

Hey big guy... I know you can do this

You're the best assassin/musician/preteen girl I know

an- an- and investigator?