Still Up

- Thank you. Good night. - Night.

- At last. -

Um...

Yes, I am sure.

- You sure about what? - Oh, nothing.

- Thanks for coming at such short notice. - Oh.

- I know you don't usually work nights. - That's all right.

Um, Alonso has saved some chocolate gâteau for Poppy.

- Yes, lovely. -

Oh, Alonso. Thank you. That's amazing. She's gonna love that.

Ah, well, then marry me. I cook, you eat. We're perfect for each other.

That is, um-- That's an interesting offer.

I'll just, um, discuss that with your wife, will I?

- Oh. - Oh, just take him. He's yours.

Word of warning, he's got a very hairy back.

- Really? - You not staying for drinks?

I can't. I've gotta go and drop something off, but thanks.

See you later, all right?

- All right. Night, Lisa. - Night. Thanks.

- -

Yeah.

All right.

Oh, I hate it when I miss her bedtime. Was she okay?

Yeah. She passed out pretty much straightaway.

She was a bit upset though?

Nah, she was fine.

Could you at least lie and pretend that she did?

Right. Sorry.

Yeah, no, now-- now that you mention it, no, she was a little bit--

Too late. Okay, look,

I'll be home soon. I've gotta drop something at Aunt Em's before tomorrow.

- What, now? - Yeah.

Sorry, I don't really have a choice.

Um, but just, seriously, go to sleep.

- Yeah. Oh, okay then. - Thanks.

Um, it's just that I've just finished my new video, yeah.

I was hoping to show it to you before I uploaded it to the channel.

Oh, uh... ...really?

Yeah. You know, I could always send it over.

You know, you could watch it on the bus.

Uh... ...yeah. Yeah, that would be great.

Um, I better go, but look, I'll be home before you know it.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Night. - Night.

Wait, wait, wait! Hang on!

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Hello, Vedge-fans, and welcome back to another edition of

Unboxing for Unboxers.

Today, I'll be reviewing a product that every unboxer needs

if you wanna be taken seriously,

- the Sharptooth Box Blade 32AA box cutter. -

Not to be confused with the Sharptooth Box Blade 32.

I mean, it is the crème de la crème of box cutters.

- Man, don't even-- - Fascinating.

- Okay, so let's talk specifics. - Oh, my gosh.

- The sleek, ergonomic... - Idiots.

- Bailey, did you hear what he said? -

- What you talking about? - ...and it also creates grip, okay?

Secondly, let's talk about ceramic coating.

- Hey! - Hello.

- Okay, spill it. - What?

You've obviously got something you wanna tell me. So, out with it.

How did you get all that from just "hello"?

'Cause I'm fluent in Danny.

Are you on a bus?

Uh, yeah.

At half 11:00?

- It's kind of a long story. - Well, I'm not going anywhere.

Well, basically, my Aunt Em died recently.

- Oh, God. I'm so sorry. - Yeah.

- Were you close? - Yeah, we were actually.

- Give me my shoe. - No.

I wasn't always the most popular girl at school.

- Missed again. - Can I have it?

- Just catch the thing. - Stop!

- If you want it, take it. - Yes.

No need to cry about it.

Lisa, whatever's the matter?

But she was always there for me.

Glacier movements happen by the process of abrasion, plucking and...

- Anyone else? Uh-- -

Can I help you?

I wouldn't have thought so.

Which one of you is Melanie Bent?

Right.

I mean, her methods could be a little bit unorthodox.

Get off. What're you doing?

- You're lucky I'm a pacifist. - Get off!

But she was a hero to me.

And so generous.

Like, for my graduation, she lent me her favorite dress.

This green satin one.

Oh, I loved that dress.

But then I maybe sort of forgot to give it back.

- You stole it? - Little bit, yeah.

No way. I'm not having that. No way.

It wasn't my fault. I was really forgetful when I was younger.

Right. So w-what's that got to do with you being on a bus?

Okay, well, apparently Aunt Em left strict instructions

as to what she wanted to be buried in.

- A coffin? - Obviously a coffin.

I mean, she wanted to be buried wearing the dress.

- And the funeral's this week. - So what are you gonna do?

- The right thing. - Yeah? You're gonna come clean?

- No. - No.

No, I've got the dress with me now.

I'm taking it to Aunt Em's house.

I'm gonna hide it, but hide it really, really badly.

And then tomorrow, they'll find it,

and then everyone will live happily ever after.

Except Aunt Em, obviously.

Yeah. Oh, what were you gonna tell me earlier?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Um, you remember that dating app that you signed me up for?

Uh, oh, yeah. Yeah.

Well, I got a match.

Really?

Yes, really. Can you not sound so surprised?

- Well, uh, what's her name? - Amy.

Oh, okay. Well, that's great news.

Yeah, it's good. But... ...what happens next?

You just send her a message and say, "Hey."

No, I can't do that.

I can't get away with just a "hey". I'm not a "hey" kind of person.

Oh, my God, you're overthinking this. Trust me.

- Do you think? - Yeah.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Go on. - Okay.

- Sent. - Okay.

- Well done. -

She hasn't responded. Why hasn't she responded?

That's you with the "hey".

- "Do a little 'hey'." - It's been a minute. Give it a moment!

Oh.

- It's her. - Oh. Well?

- Okay. She wrote "hey" back. - Mmm.

- That's it. And then "How was your day?" - There you go.

That's a good start, isn't it?

Okay. Now tell her what you got up to today.

- I don't think I wanna do that. - Why? What did you get up to today?

I don't wanna tell you either. You'll think I'm weird.

- Danny, I already think you're weird. - That's fair.

- - So?

Well...

I tried to make a bust of Michael Fassbender's head

- out of some Blu Tack. - Excuse me, what?

This is him in X-Men.

Wh-- Why did you do that?

I was in an arty mood. And, uh, I just have way too much Blu Tack.

Yeah, you're right. Definitely don't tell her about that.

- Then what do I do? -

Well, just be yourself.

Okay. Yeah, good point.

Be almost yourself and just, like, trim away the weird, little edges.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah... ...I could do that.

- Are you talking about me? - White suit, trousers-- Yes.

Uh, Danny, can I call you back?

No, you can't. Please. No. What do I say to her?

Yeah. I'll check in, I ju--

- You're meant to be my girl. -

- Did you ju-- Did you just shush someone? - Yeah, I did just shush someone.

I don't think I've ever shushed anyone in my life. My legs are shaking.

I've never shushed anyone either. I wish I was someone that could shush.

- I'm a bit jealous. -

- Danny, I've really gotta go. - No. Don't go.

- No. Wait. Don't-- - I'll call you back. Good luck.

No. Lisa, no, plea-- I--

So, in terms of color, it comes in red...

- - ...black, silver, green, lime green.

Doesn't come in purple, which I thought was a shame.

Do it.

"Not bad. Thanks."

"How about you?"

- -

The recommended retail price is higher than we all expected with this.

But with the addition of the tape blade down here

and an additional blade that can replace this blade once

- it's been overused, you know what it-- - Oh.

- Uh, sorry. Have you seen a bag? - There wasn't one here when I got on.

- - Uh, sorry. Excuse me. Sorry.

Hi.

- Hey. How's it going? - Yeah. Good, good.

Um, is that my dress?

Which dress?

The dress you're wearing.

- This dress? - Yeah.

Mmm, right. No, I don't think so. I'm pretty sure it's my dress.

Right. Okay, I'll put it another way. Um, that is my dress.

Right. But I'm pretty sure it's my dress. That's weird, isn't it?