Vampire Vs. Vampire (Yi mei dao ren / 一眉道人) (一眉道人)

VAMPIRE VS VAMPIRE

Executive Producer: LEONARD HO

Starring: LAM CHING-YING

CHIN STU-HO, LUL FONG

SANDRA NG, BILLY LAY, MARIA CORDERO

Screenwriters: SZE MEI-YEE, SAM CHI-LEUNG, CHAN KA-CHEONG

Film Coordinator: JONATHAN CHOW

Producer: CHUA LAM

Director: LAM CHING-YING

When Heavenly Dog eats the moon,

during an eclipse evil prevails; darkness reigns supreme.

When the moon emerges, it's Yin apogee while Yan declines.

Caught by moon beam, the spirits will wreak havoc.

Hey, don't! Don't go in!

- Listen to me. - Don't get in my way!

Don't, it's dangerous inside!

The danger is exactly why we need to go in.

How else will we know if we're capable?

Master said we must cover up all the gaps so moonlight won't shine on these jars.

Don't blame me for grassing on your slacking when Master scolds you.

No point in grassing on me, how about if I let you stand on my shoulder? Come!

The moonlight is shining on those jars!

Why are you holding that jar?

If we could move these jars, we wouldn't have to cover the gaps.

You never follow your Master's advice.

No wonder Master says you're brainless.

Don't even swap shoulders when carrying.

See? I can improvise.

Well, if you're so smart, fix it yourself then.

No need to find excuses if you don't want to work.

Use the blow taught by Master.

Here.

Hey, give me one more!

Herel

Did you shit your pants? It stinks so much!

Not as stinky as your mouth!

Done.

Sorry, I'm treading on you again.

No wonder it's so dark.

That longevity lamp is burnt out.

Hey, wait for me!

Hurry up then.

Why won't it light?

Light quickly! Come on!

Hey, Ho!

Hold it down for now.

The jar is reactive to moonlight.

- What to do if this thing gets out? - What? Oh no!

Trying to scare me to death?!

Hurry up!

Don't ever let it get out!

My hand!

It hurts!

Hold you down there first.

It's upside down.

The vampire is getting out. Run!

How come the coffin is empty?

Go search for it, quickly!

Look!

Don't let it get away! Surround it!

- Stop it! - I know.

Still going?

Still trying to run?

Don't run! Don't run!

Catch him!

Little vampire, not this way. That way!

Oh no, it's too late!

Let me help its blood circulation.

A massage should help. How would a little vampire have blood?

All fine.

You're crafty, little brat. Why don't I give you a beating?

Don't go out, little vampire!

Making an unexpected move?

No wonder my eyebrow twitched the whole night.

What are you two doing up there?

Silence doesn't mean nothing happened.

Silence is golden, you taught us that.

Master, we've already done our best.

When we went up, there was moonlight.

If you don't believe us, ask Fong.

I don't know. I only saw Ho playing with him there.

No, no, in fact he's the naughtier one.

Is that so?

I believe all three of you.

But you all deserve punishment.

He won't be able to beat up such a teacher's pet.

They really are close, like father and son.

Am I too soft?

Oh? No.

Just sentimental.

That's my strong suit.

Master!

Master, you've another chance to show sympathy.

- What? - Not my fault, Fong said it!

This is serious!

How come this one got in?

- Is... is Master in? - Yes.

One... One... One Eyebrow Priest, it's... it's serious. Out... outside...

There must be something.

You guys lift him up.

Also get your weapons while you're at it.

Hey, Chi Lei-kan.

Be good and stay here.

Scissors. Paper.

- Scissors. - Hammer!

- We've lost. - Go now.

Now I'm hammering myself.

It seems one of the trees here has turned into a spirit.

Stay away from the banana trees.

He's my little brother.

Can he be saved, Master?

Get him out of here first.

This female banana tree ghost won't transform without being seduced.

Only virgin boys could seduce her to come out.

Which of you is a virgin besides me?

First, dress yourself up like a groom in red.

Then use a red rope to tie up the candles.

And then light them.

Throw one end of the red rope into the banana woods.

Take the other end into the house and tie it to your big toe.

Remember to make the knot a loose one.

Then pretend to be asleep while staying wide awake.

Remember to shout loudly as soon as she appears.

It's crashing onto me!

Look!

Improvise if you have to. We only have this magic weapon left.

Only this mirror is left?

Did Master teach you how to use it?

Yes, point it at that female ghost.

It's quite difficult.

Let me do such a dangerous task then.

No need to trouble yourself. Let's swap.

There's no need.

We're classmates after all.

You don't want me to lose my virginity in such circumstances, right?

Are you a virgin?

Yes. Look at my height and you know I'm not yet developed.

Then there's no other way.

OK, so I need to sacrifice my virginity for your sake.

Oh no! It's broken. What to do?

Let's go!

Master, help!

Don't go near it!

So turns out it's afraid of fire.

Help, Master!

Bring the flames at once.

Reciting the Buddhist sayings so loudly. How annoying is that?

You've damaged Master's coin sword.

It means you've ruined your own lifelong happiness yourself.

Why are you hiding under the table?

Master's coming. Hide the stuff first.

It's pay day. This time the rewards are smaller.

But I'll still make a fair distribution.

This one is communal.

This one is mine.

These two I'll save up for you when you emigrate to Guangzhou city in the future.

No pay, how's that fair?

Fairness means that if we fix your sword, you will repay our favour.

That's right. It will be fair if you discreetly get our pay share for us.

Don't blame us for being unfair then.

Oh yes.

Better let Little Vampire take the communal money to buy tomatoes.

That's most fair.

You guys are speaking softly. Trying to start a revolution?

No such thing.

I want to take part too.

Let's put it out and have a discussion?

Leaving so quickly?

Village Head, this village is surrounded by mountains.

On the left, gold. On the right, water.

The front faces the crane. The back, jade.

Feng Shui is supposed to be good for both wealth and progenies.

But recently there are many mishaps in the village without any reason.

Is there anything wrong with the Feng Shui?

Feng means air current. It needs to flow so don't block it.

The air current is flowing well with strong wind at the moment.

Nothing wrong with Feng.

What about Shui then?

Hence why I'm here, to see the water current.

Go then.

It's so heavy!

It's terribly hot.

Aren't you two too slow?

Master, how can we walk fast with SO many heavy burdens?

Ho! Fong!

What are you walking so fast for?

Are you refugees?

Cousin, are you tired?

A little.

Are you thirsty?

A little.

Let me bring you some water.

Cousin, be careful!

Right. Put your things down and take a rest first.

These things are for the Village Head and everyone else.

These two are working for the community. Not helping me.

Cousin, have a Western style multi-layered cake?

Go up and find out where the origin is.

Hand the stuff back to him.

Here. Cousin, want any more?