C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud

-> C.H.U.D. II: Bud the Chud <--

Yes, Kirk. We sent them 2 samples.

Good day, nurse. We have the therapy for my patient downstairs?

Ah, thank you.

Dr. Berkholter, code blue in OR 2-5-2.

Dr. Berkholter.

Dr. Berkholter, code blue in OR 2-5-2.

That's a code blue in OR 2-5-2.

Dr. Berkholter, where the hell are you?

I am not fooling around.

How's it going, Burt?

Oh, boring as usual.

Ah, you should be thankful for small favors.

Look at this. Now, I would kill to be in the field.

Burt...you have the soul of a poet.

Heh heh heh heh.

Won't be a minute.

Wake up, Mr. Oliver.

Come on, Mr. Oliver. It's dinnertime.

You don't wanna miss your last meal, do you?

The Joint Chiefs of Staff

have decided to discontinue the C.H.U.D. research project.

The remaining C.H.U.D. is being terminated as we speak.

Sorry, Ted. Meeting adjourned.

Ah, I'm not into chemical war.

I agree. I'm more of a nuke man, myself.

Thank God.

I'm disappointed in you, doctor.

Had the C.H.U.D. research continued,

we could have had the ultimate in biochemical warfare,

an enzyme that would allow soldiers to go on fighting

even after they were clinically dead.

I'm afraid I don't share your enthusiasm, Colonel.

The C.H.U.D. enzyme stimulated the brain to a point of frenzy.

They showed a lot of spunk. That's all.

Colonel Masters, there was a reason

that these creatures were kept underground.

For instance, the little matter of the drug's...

cannibalistic side effects.

A small glitch.

What the hell?

What?!

You sure?

All right, we're on our way.

What's the problem?

The C.H.U.D.'s escaped.

Escaped?! good God!

All right, don't panic.

Just remember, we don't want to damage him.

Just freeze him till we can get him into the cryogenic chamber.

All right, men. Move out.

And ready?

Aah!

A--A cat.

Raah!

Get him! Get him! Get him! Get him!

All right, that's enough, gentlemen.

That's enough.

We've got him.

We've got him, haven't we?

Yes, sir. That's one frozen stiff.

Ahem.

What about that--that thing?

No, no, no. He's not my problem now.

If and when the project gets re-funded,

I'll defrost him and give him a jolt of electricity

that'll shock the synapses in the old noggin,

and those enzymes will get our buddy perking again.

Well, what if the project doesn't get re-funded?

Whoa. Do not even think it.

Now, in the meantime, we have to get our sleeping beauty back there in limbo

to the Winterhaven Center for Disease Control.

I never heard of the place.

Government-funded research center in some podunk town.

And tomorrow, class, I have a treat in store for you.

We actually get to look at a cadaver from Lee's Funeral Home.

- Yecch! - Come on!

A dead body is nothing to be afraid of.

Well now. Let's see how we're doing with our experiments.

Mr. Williams, I'm sure you'd be delighted to seize this opportunity

to elevate your perpetually declining grade.

Uh, of course I would, sir.

Mr. Proctor, fellow students.

Direct your attention, if you would, to the frog before me.

Poor Benjy here is completely without the use of his back legs.

Aww.

I hate it when he does this.

Is the frog really paralyzed?

Miss Norton, are you following Mr. Williams' experiment?

Uh, yes, sir.

Here today I will demonstrate the essential symbiology.

- Symbiosis. - Between...

have you guessed it? Uh, Katie.

Between electricity and life?

Exactly.

Whoa!

I noticed.

- Don't do that. - Don't--

- Aah! - Everybody out.

Fire!

Good thinking, Kev.

Well, I hope you're happy.

I thought you loved school.

This isn't school, Steve. This is punishment.

All school is punishment.

Now I'm gonna get warts.

So you wear a glove.

I can't believe I let you get me in these messes.

What messes?

You're a straight-A student.

Besides, if it wasn't for me, you'd never have any fun, man.

You call this fun?

Hey, at least he didn't suspend us.

Sometimes I wish my life were just a little more boring.

Sure you do.

You know, I think there's hope for you yet, man.

Between you and me, we can really make it out there.

Where?

The world, Kev!

Once we get out of this town, there'll be no stopping us.

Look, one's trying to get--

One got away!

Think about it. With my energy and your brains...

the world will cower at our feet.

Will you cut it out?

I can't see what I'm doing. Cut it out.

- Ow! - You okay?

Yeah, yeah. I just bumped into--

Oh, shit.

It's Mr. Proctor's dead guy.

Stand back, doctor.

Code blue. Code blue.

Don't do that.

- Oh... - Shit.

What do we do now?

Run!

Hey, watch it!

Brake! - I don't think he can hear you, man.

Oh he's heading for the highway and picking up speed!

Mr. Proctor's gonna know it was us. He's gonna expel us.

Or at least you.

Come on! Let's go!

What the hell?

Now what?

Well, we--we got two choices here.

I don't wanna hear this.

We--We can just tell Mr. Proctor

we sent his prize cadaver north on highway 51...

I don't wanna hear this.

Or...

we could find a replacement.

- How's Mr. Oliver? - Still dead, man.

What are cops doing in a hospital?

They're not cops, they're guards and it's not a hospital.

It's a disease control center.

I knew that.

Why don't we just tell Proctor what happened?

Have you no imagination? Do you wanna flunk his class?

Good point.

Hey. What's that?

Hello, beautiful.

Doesn't he look too-- uh, too skanky?

When you're dead, you're skanky.

It goes with the territory.

Oh, yeah.

All right. Let's just get him out and get him dressed.

Katie's waiting.

Uh, since the bio lab's gonna be locked,

what do you say we leave him at your house tonight, huh?

No, and not at Katie's, either.

You have to be the doctor. You get the body.

Right.

KEVIN God, this guy is beefy.

Oh great, the guy dripped all over the back seat.

Ooh, he's oozing all over the place. Slippery little devil, isn't he?

Hold up your end.

I guess this is what they mean by ''dead weight.''

Ha. Right.

Shh.

Steven, is that you?

Uh, yeah, Mom.

I brought Kevin home to help me, uh, study.

Oh, Kevin. Come on in.

You keep them busy.

I'll take him to the basement.

Honey, it's Kevin.

Huh? Oh, hi, Kev. How are you doin'?

Okay. Okay. Good. Good.

We are watching a wonderful program on the Alaskan wilderness.

- Yeah. - You know what that is?

- Snow. - Right.

How 'bout those guys?

Penguins.

No. Those are seals.

Come on, Jasper, beat it.

Shh.

Keep it down, will you?

Look at that. Know what that is?

- No, sir. - Salmon.

- Salmon. - I love salmon.