Shrinking

Hey.

You hungry?

Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!

This was a mistake. Sorry.

No, it's not you. I'm just... Oh, my God. I'm such a piece of shit.

No, you aren't.

Summer's my best friend, okay? And she can never know about this,

and no one can ever know about this at all. I...

Morning, big guy. Egg sammie, coming in hot.

Did you get some sleep?

- Yep. - Let's go. It's a beautiful day.

He doesn't knock?

Not when egg sammies are hot.

You should have seen Sean's face.

He was so pissed and devastated.

It was just like when I found out I was having a third boy.

Hey, don't beat yourself up.

Who hasn't sold their company

to their partner's estranged father before?

- Why would you say that? - 'Cause you made a joke,

so I thought we was in joke mode, so I...

- No, I can make the jokes. You can't... - Okay. Calm down. Come here.

Give me a hug. I'm sorry. Come here,

come here, come here. You gonna get through this, okay?

- Fuck. - Yeah.

Now can I make a joke, since your face is in my nanas?

No, but I like it.

You should have seen Liz's face.

- I lost my cool, man. - Hey, we all make mistakes.

Look, in my dark days,

once, I was really stoned, I ate half of Alice's bio project.

In my defense, it was a model of human DNA made of Twizzlers.

She got a D. But it was delicious.

Well, thank you for always being so relatable.

I can't believe I yelled at her like that.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck!

Maybe I'll just avoid Liz for the rest of my life.

I've tried it. It won't work, Sean.

She finds you.

Hey, your knee is bleeding.

- Don't even ask. - What happened?

Oh, my God! What do you not understand about "don't fucking ask"?

Sorry, sweetie.

- You're scared of her, aren't you? - So? You're scared of Liz.

Absolutely. She's scary.

Everything's so fucked.

No.

I know how you can fix it.

So Jimmy said I should bring this to you.

I love it when Jimmy says things.

This is gonna be fun because I've never been to therapy before.

- Hard to believe. - Dazzle me.

I know you thought you were doing something really nice for me.

I shouldn't have lost my shit, and I'm sorry.

No, I should've talked to you about it.

I'm so sorry.

- We're good. - Okay.

Good work.

Liz, I'm gonna try and say this sincerely.

I'm glad you came in here.

That's it?

What, you want me to pull my pants down and make my ass clap?

Okay.

- How much do you pay him? - Nothing.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Thanks for that.

This was a good idea. I prefer eating doughnuts to hiking.

Please, look at that baby.

He or she was never gonna last the whole hike.

He or she? She's wearing a pink sweater that says "Emily."

- Give me a turn. - Okay.

Hi. You are so cute.

You said that to me yesterday.

If everybody's cute, then nobody's cute.

You seem like a real natural, Charlie.

Don't push your breeder agenda on us, James.

We actually bonded over this when we were dating.

Neither of us wants kids.

No, you don't want kids.

I said I was fine not having kids, not that I didn't want them.

- Who are you? What's happening? - Maybe we should give them a second.

Why? This is such an intimate moment.

- That's why, Michael. - It's okay.

I'd love to have a baby.

But if we don't,

then I am the hero who rose above it all to make his marriage work.

I can be a hero too by at least pretending to consider it.

That is so brave.

Well, if you want, you can meet our adoption advocate.

- He's a friend. - That would be so great.

I mean, if Brian is up for it.

Are you kidding, Charlie? Brian's a hero.

Uh-oh. Yeah, someone made a shit swamp.

- Can I help you change her? Yeah? - Yeah. Please.

Come here, you little stinker.

"You seem like a natural, Charlie"?

Don't blame me. You're the one who wouldn't let our friendship die.

I... It's still here.

Hey, kid.

Your dad has landed back in your life in a big way,

so we can't keep avoiding it.

Have you two been talking?

Does he even know where you live?

Come on, Paul, you asked me this last week

and you could tell by my face that the answer was no.

Right.

Why do we always have to come back to my dad?

Look, I know your dad did something to damage your relationship

that you have not told me about.

How do I know?

I've been doing this for a thousand years.

Why are you trying to therapize me in the kitchen?

You and Jimmy used to talk out of the office all the time.

- Figured I'd give it a whirl. - Ten feet from your door?

Baby steps.

Come on.

Sorry, gotta go to work.

Why are you still here?

Because I took a shit in your desk drawer.

Relax. I just forgot my keys.

This is why I hate to leave my office.

Hey. How'd it go with Liz?

She didn't take a dump in my desk, so I guess that's a win.

I still can't get Sean to open up to me about his dad.

I even tried talking to him out of the office.

Hey. You tried Jimmying him.

That's what my patients call my unorthodox methods, so...

- Well, I'm never gonna use that word. - We'll see.

Hey, Sean and I are still tight.

You want me to take another crack at the dad stuff? I...

No. No more intervening.

You're not his therapist anymore.

Stay the fuck out of it.

Okay, Paul, I'll stay the fuck out of it.

- Right. - What? I can stay out of things.

- I stay out of lots of things. - Name one.

Never got into SoulCycle.

- I wish I had better examples. - I know you.

The minute Sean is in need, you'll cave.

You can't not help.

I can not do anything I set my mind to not do.

Why does that say, "I peed here"?

Where?

For God's... Give me that.

- Did you write this, Paul? - It's your crazy fucking neighbor!

I'm worried about Sean.

Working with his dad.

It's not gonna take much for him to snap.

This is so damn good. Have you tried this?

It was hard to toss you out of the house,

but I knew what you needed was a little tough love, all right?

I mean, look at you now.

I mean, look at both of us now, right?

Your mom was a little scared at first

and I said, "Nah, you gotta let a man be a man."

You all right?

Yeah. I'm good.

I loved that truck. And I gave it up for nothing.

- I'm so sorry. - Yeah. That sucks.

I was smashing this guy who didn't care about me.

So now I gotta break into his house and get all my stuff back,

including my favorite vibrator.

- What a drag. - Was it expensive?

Yeah. Actually, we went halfsies on a lot of them.

I got you both beat. Charlie wants to have a baby.

- That's not a real problem. - Yeah, babies are tight.

- Just have a baby. - Who's having a baby?

- Brian. - You're not even showing.

- I'm not having a baby. - Yes, you are.

That's how marriage works.

If one person wants one, the decision is made.

Y'all either having a baby or y'all about to break up.

Or you will figure it out

because your love with Charlie is undefeatable.

I want a Derek.

Then I have the greatest coincidence ever.

This is my best buddy from my old job,

Derrick.

Hi, guys. Liz.

- Hi, bubba. How are you? - Good to see you.

- You smell good. - Thank you.

You always smell good. All right.

Okay.

You won't believe, but Gaby just said she wanted...

- Don't. - Nothing. She wants nothing.

- Nothing? - Yeah.

Well, that sounds like a lie, but I'll go with it.

- We eating here or... No. - No, no.

- Vibe is too sad in here. - Yeah.

Dereks, we like to be happy.

And by the way,

there's nothing wrong with wanting a Derrick.

- Okay. - Congrats on the baby again.

- I'm not having a baby! - Okay.

- I can't wait for his baby. - No baby. No.

I need something in my life or I'm going totally dark.

I am this close to sitting in my tub crying and drinking wine.

I would love to do that, and I mean with you.

Like, literally, I'd be at the other end of the tub,