Lake Placid

They actually pay you for this,

to tag beaver?

Imagine.

Was that, like, sarcastic?

'Cause I know what you Fish and Game guys think

of county sheriffs.

We know you like to give these one-word,

sarcastic answers.

Gee.

You ask me,

what an animal does in the wild

is his own business.

So long as he doesn't do it to man.

I think Mark Twain said that.

Yeah, I think he didn't.

But since you said it, I guess we're covered.

Everyone's a comedian, sarcastic.

Aah! Aah!

Help!

Aah ha!

Ohh! Ohh!

No! Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Ohh! Don't let go!

Oh ho ho!

Aah!

Aw, Jesus Christ.

Kelly?

Hey, Kevin.

Hi.

Listen, uh, could I steal you for a minute?

What are you doing?

Heavy breathing, meditating.

Meditating?

Yes. To relieve stress.

Remember, Myra, you're the one

who taught me all about breathing.

Yes, but you're doing Lamaze. Are you giving birth?

If you're upset, long, deep breaths.

Kevin dumped me.

I know.

He told you?

Well, I sort of had, uh, inside information.

You?

It started before you, Kelly.

I never would have...

You?

It was just a quick thing that we thought was over,

and... it's not over.

You and Kevin.

I... I wish I could say something to...

the heart wants what the heart wants.

Sheriff Keough?

Yeah.

Fish and Game. Jack Wells.

Any recent bear attacks?

This was no bear.

Bears don't attack people underwater.

Probably a beaver, then.

Ah, a whole sentence sarcastic.

That the way he came out of the water?

Yeah.

Hey.

Hey, Kevin, what's going on? What's happening?

How's it goin'? How's your family? Good?

It's great. So nice to see you.

Fuck off.

This is business.

There was an accident in Maine.

Some guy got killed by something in a lake.

Probably a bear, but they found a tooth.

A tooth?

A fragment of a tooth,

one they say couldn't have come from any bear.

Evidently it looks prehistoric, like maybe a dinosaur.

Oh, well, then I'm sure that that's what it was.

He was killed by a dinosaur.

Is there anything else?

I, uh, want you to go there.

What?

It's probably nothing, but you're a paleontologist.

This is what we do.

What do you mean, this is what we do?

I'd like you to check out this tooth.

I'm not a field person.

Well, on this one, I would like you to be.

You want me to go to Maine to look at a tooth?

Oh, this was Myra's idea, wasn't it?

- Uh... - Oh, of course.

Get me out of the office for a few days,

wait till I cool off...

It has nothing to do with that.

I don't do field work, and even if I did, Maine?

I'm allergic to timber.

- Kelly. - I am not going to Maine.

I'm not going to Maine.

It's ridiculous.

It's gonna be rough

as we go over these mountains.

Yeah, that's fine. Thank you.

We're doing the best we can.

Could you not talk to me?

Thank you.

Keough: Just came up screaming.

Kelly: What did he say?

Just kind of gurgled. He was pretty much dead.

You didn't see anything?

The lake was calm until up he came.

The tooth is in here.

Oh, that's... that's the morgue.

Yes.

Well, is the dead guy in there?

That's where they keep them.

Look...

you want me to bring the tooth out here?

No.

No. Let's...

After you.

This is reptilian. And this is not a fossil.

You really pulled this out of this guy?

Yes, I did.

I'll need to get a microscopic look at it.

There you go.

Great.

Maybe I should see...

I wouldn't.

I can deal with dead men... bodies.

Ohh.

Uhh. Ohh, jeez.

How long did this attack go on for?

Seconds. 8 maybe 10.

Oh, and, uh, this is how he came up to the boat?

Yes.

Uh-huh.

I'd like to see this lake.

Keough: Nobody lives within 25 miles of it,

except some old couple who live right on the lake.

Teenagers trek in every once in a while

to skinny-dip.

None have disappeared.

None have spotted anything unusual.

Did you talk to the old couple?

Not yet.

What kind of backup do we have?

We?

What?

I'm a little unclear as to why the museum

would send somebody here.

You gotta thing against museums?

No, I got nothing against museums.

Ever been in one?

What is that?

Lightweight forward-area air-device unit.

Whatever's out there,

one shot with this, it's dead.

Why exactly would you have that?

God.

Mosquitoes. I gotta thing about mosquitoes.

If you're all set, let's go.

We're saved.

A museum in New York

just sent us some additional backup.

Kelly Scott.

Jack Wells.

Hi.

Uh, some museum sent you, huh?

What, are we all museum bigots in Maine?

She's rude sarcastic.

You two should get along.

I'm afraid I can't let you go with us, ma'am.

Sheriff Keough said I could.

Unfortunately, Fish and Game supersedes the sheriff.

Why do you have to supersede? Maybe I might be of...

Ma'am, look,

this isn't some kind of fact-finding expedition.

Yes, I know that.

It's not a science trip.

Could you be a little more condescending?

'Cause I'm not real great with subtlety.

Something in that lake killed somebody, right?

I appreciate you're trying to help.

I'm really glad that you brought the raid.

Now, that's better.

Ma'am, it's not gonna work...

If you call me "ma'am" one more time, I'll sue you,

and with today's laws, it's possible.

She's good.

Look, I won't interfere.

And if I do, you've got a sheriff handy to arrest me,

but I understand if I threaten your Fish and Game authority...

Excuse me.

Is it true you're going to look

for some kind of monster in Black Lake?

Well, we're just gonna investigate an accident.

There's no monster.

We heard a man was bit in half.

Well, there was an accident.

That's all. It's nothing to worry about.

Oh, please.