Camping 3

Hello, hello, campers, this is Radio Camping.

Today, the temperature will be 30 degrees.

And tonight, don't forget the big flip-flop throwing contest.

The record to beat is 36.15 meters.

I don't mind, you know.

Come on, don't be mad, sir.

I'm not, but when

I agreed to carpool with Vanessa, I wasn't expecting the 2 Be 3!

-The what? -The 2 Be 3.

A very good '90s band, like the Beatles.

Except that there are three of them. Well, there were three of them.

Philippe died in 2009.

Vanessa's my sister.

She had a problem, it's not our fault.

Right...

Who wants a Babybel?

Thanks.

Don't throw away the wrapper, I make candles out of it.

SOMEWHERE NEAR CHATEAUROUX...

What's wrong, Jacky?

We've been around the roundabout five times now.

I don't remember where we're going.

We're going to Arcachon, just like the last 50 years.

We've been together 50 years?

Hm.

It might be time to change the candles.

To be honest, I know young people well.

I have a 17-year-old daughter. Kimberley.

Kimberley?

Yeah, like in The Young and the Restless.

What do you do, Benji?

I'm in business school, like everyone else.

But my real hobby is music...

I mean, what are you doing with your chips?

Are you feeding the car?

Either you eat them out the window or you wait for our next stop.

What about you José?

I don't like chips!

I mean in life, what do you do?

I'm a stretcher-bearer at the hospital in Dijon.

Wow!

What about you, Robert?

-Why is he formal with me? -I'd rather be.

Things go fast today.

I don't want to start like

I don't respect your difference, etc.

not me.

What do you do in life?

Me? Same...

It's a project, too.

Let's go!

End of the line, everybody out!

Got everything?

Is someone picking you up?

No, we're meeting a buddy working at Club Mickey.

He has an apartment in town, we're going to sleep over.

That's great.

Sounds great.

Thanks, sir.

Glad to be of service. Have a nice vacation, kids!

Have a nice vacation.

A FILM BY FABIEN ONTENIENTE

Calm down. Calm down, Mr. Chirac.

I understand you're confused!

When I took over Les Flots Bleus for Campéol,

it was closer to an Indian reservation than a campsite.

I came from the restaurant business.

I was the manager of the Buffalo Grill

at the Pau ring road, south exit.

Between Leather Center and Shoe Mart.

So with this experience, I completely

restructured the campsite like the Americans do.

The tents and trailers are now in Beverly Hills,

in the southern part of the campsite.

Beverly Hills?

But that side is by the water.

Sure, but Beverly Hills is 20% cheaper.

Mr. Carello!

The Wi-Fi's down in the fitness room.

Oh, Patrick... You're here!

Site 37. What are you doing?

I work here, buddy!

I'm in so much trouble that to pay for my spot

Mr. Carello kindly

offered that I handle the technical and logistical coordination

of outdoor structures.

Is Paulo here?

He just arrived, but alone.

What about Sophie?

-They got divorced. -Both of them?

She found his browsing history.

And I can tell you it wasn't just pizza delivery!

I better get back to it. See you at the aperitif!

-Gaby! -Yeah?

Remember to fix the bathroom fittings in 22.

It's overflowing and running down the aisles.

OK, boss.

Well, enjoy your vacation, Mr. Chirac!

My name's Stéphane Carello.

But everyone calls me Stéphane here.

Our brochure.

You're in for a treat, Patoche.

I hope so, Stéphanoche.

How can you be sure you'll find a job?

I went to a psychic before I left.

She said that if I did good around me,

I was in for a nice surprise.

I know she meant a job.

The unemployment office

might be a safer bet.

Or Lourdes.

-And you believe her? -Well, I paid her.

So if you do good, you get a job.

You just have to be Tinkerbell!

Did she say what kind of job you could get?

Laurette, she's a psychic, not a temp agency!

Ooh those flies are so annoying!

Look at the ribbon I bought.

I don't understand why there are so many flies here!

The Beverly Hills, yeah, right! Look at this!

We're parked at the back, like rats.

It's nice here.

-We're on vacation, my friends! -Not everyone.

There's Jacky.

We can have a drink now.

What's up, Jacky?

Hello, sir.

Can I have a drink Jacqueline?

Laurette, Jacky!

Oh...

And that's your fourth today.

Yes, we'll tell him! We'll tell him!

What's with Jacky?

Look, Patrick... We didn't want to tell you...

But Jacky's not in his right mind anymore.

I feel like he's losing his memory.

Especially with drinks!

He forgets to drink?

Fuck me...

No, he forgets he's already had a drink!

He thinks he's still on the first one!

Damn!

He didn't even notice he didn't have a spot anymore.

There it is.

I brought you some sausage!

Well, I see that everyone is served except me!

Alright!

Pastis between friends!

Is a full pastis!

And long live Marrakesh!

I'm happy because

this year Kimberley will probably join me.

I promised her mother

I wouldn't take her to Shogun this year.

She was eight last time,

she got a bit bored.

How old is she now?

Seventeen.

It's hard without my daughter.

-I haven't seen her for two months. -I'm sure she doesn't call!

Of course not.

Yes, the other day, she sent me a picture of her breasts.

She had the wrong number.

Shit, I forgot my washcloth.

Just plug the sink with your pasta!

You look lost, Paulo.

Sophie did the dishes.

She loved it.

I look like an idiot now.

Don't you protect your hands?

-No. -Be careful.

Soft hands are important, Patrick.

-Did you meet someone? -I try, but I'm not in the mood.

The other day, I was vaguely into a chick,

28 years old, nice ass, but...

when she found out how old I was, she took off.

She called me a liar.

-How old did you say? -Forty-three.

Come on, Paulo...

We're 50, come back down to Earth!

You want the truth?

You haven't looked 43 for a long time.

Honestly, Paulo, with your physique,

you don't need plastic surgery,

you need magic!

Your hair's the most important.

I'm lucky, it turns blonde in the sun.

Did you dye yours?

Are you crazy?

-How old do you say you are? -Thirty-two.

Lucky you, you're younger than last year!

I only say I'm 32 at Les Flots Bleus when I have a nice tan.

I didn't say how old I was today,

but after spending the day at the beach tomorrow,

I'll slowly bring that number down.

At the Shogun, when it's dark,

with my Armani jacket, my white tennis shoes

and a nice cologne,

I intend to go down to 29!

It's going to be a nice vacation, Paulo.