Scott Pilgrim vs the World (Scott Pilgrim vs. the World)

(THEME MUSlC lN VlDEOGAME TONE)

KlM: Scott Pilgrim is dating a high-schooler?

Really? ls she hot?

How old are you now, Scott? Like, 28?

l'm not playing your little games, kids.

So, you've been out of high school for, like, 1 3 years.

l'm 22. Twenty-two.

And you're dating a high-school girl. Not bad, not bad.

Thank you, thank you.

So, did you guys, like, you know, do it yet?

We have done many things.

We ride the bus together.

And we have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went

and about her friends and, you know, drama.

Have you even kissed her?

We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.

Well, aren't you pleased as punch.

l don't know what you're talking about.

So, what's her name?

Knives Chau.

She's Chinese.

Wicked.

So, when do we get to meet her?

Oh, please, let it be soon.

That's for me.

Hi. You promise to be good?

Of course l'll be good.

Seriously, please be good.

Am l normally not?

Hey, Knives, this is Stephen Stills. He's the talent.

Hey.

ls she gonna geek out on us?

She'll just sit in the corner, man.

l mean, l want her to geek out on us.

She'll geek. She geeks. She has the capacity to geek.

Okay.

You're good.

Wow.

Here, let me get your coat.

Hi.

Knives, that's Kim.

Sorry, what was your name?

Kim.

And you play the drums?

Yes.

That is so awesome.

Knives, that's Young Neil.

Hi.

What do you play?

Wow, Zelda, Tetris.

That's kind of a big question.

Okay, let's start with Launchpad McQuack.

That's not the actual title of the. . .

We are Sex Bob-Omb!

One, two, three, four!

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah

Laminate the stasis

Mama, mama serpentine

I got a breathaIyzer

And my body's clean

Yeah! Yeah!

Thank you!

Get ready

Yeah

Yeah, yeah

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Yeah!

You guys are so

amazing.

She seems nice. Yeah.

Yeah, she seems awesome.

Yeah.

Scott, if your life had a face, l would punch it.

Yeah. Wait, what?

l mean, are you really happy or are you really evil?

Like, do l have ulterior motives or something?

l'm offended, Kim.

Wounded, even?

Hurt, Kim.

You? Hurt?

Neil, you were saying about "she seems awesome."

Yeah, she seems awesome.

Yeah.

Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else,

yes, l'm dating a 1 7-year-old.

Oh, is he cute?

Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together?

You see another bed in here?

Yeah. You're totally my bitch forever.

So, the whole 1 7-year-old thing, don't tell too many people.

Hey, you know me.

l mean, don't tell my sister.

You know me.

Who are you texting?

Seventeen years old? Scandal !

That's not true. Who told you?

Wallace. Duh.

That gossipy bitch.

You know me.

Wallace!

Who is this mystery child you date?

Her name's Knives Chau. She's Chinese.

A 1 7-year-old Chinese schoolgirl? You're ridiculous.

lt's a Catholic school, too.

With the uniform and everything?

Yeah. The whole deal.

Oh, my God. You guys haven't. . .

No, no, no, no. We haven't even held hands yet.

l think she hugged me once.

Scott, why are you doing this?

l don't know. lt's just nice, you know? lt's just simple.

lt's been over a year since you got dumped

by She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named. So. . .

Are you legitimately moving on

or is this just you being insane?

Can l get back to you on that?

l do not wanna be here at all.

This school has boys, too.

l hate you. Even l would think twice about dating a 1 7-year-old.

Well, she's only allowed out

when the sun is up, so l wouldn't call it dating.

lt's more like. . . Playtime?

That doesn't sound so good, either. No.

KNlVES: Scott!

Hey, Knives.

This is my cool, gay roommate, Wallace Wells.

Hi. He's gay.

Oh, do you wanna know who in my class is gay?

Yes, does he wear glasses?

Wallace, you go now. Begone.

You're too good for him. Run.

Get ready!

Here we go!

Did you know that the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man?

You'd think it was because he looks like a hockey puck,

but it actually comes from the Japanese phrase "paku-paku,"

which means, "to flap one's mouth open and closed."

They changed it because they thought that

"Puck-Man" would be too easy to vandalize.

You know, people could just scratch off

the "P" and turn it into an "F" or whatever.

Oh, my God ! Like, wow!

ELECTRONlC VOlCE: Combo!

Yeah. Wow.

Continue?

Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four,

three... Oh, l got it.

...two, one.

KNlVES: l don't listen to that much music.

l mean, l know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever, but you guys. . .

You guys rock.

Well, l knew l personally rocked,

but l never suspected that we rocked as a unit.

So, thank you, Knives.

l mean, you guys are gonna be huge.

Well, we're already pretty big,

but, yeah, l guess it'd be cool

if cool people started wearing our T-shirt or whatever.

Cool. Yeah, yeah.

Excuse me, do you have anything by The Clash at Demonhead?

Have you tried the section marked "The Clash at Demonhead"?

Thank you, Julie.

Are you coming to my party Friday,

or will you be busy babysitting?

Thank you, Julie.

You don't want to listen to her.

And you definitely don't want to listen to them.

Oh, l heart them so much.

Yeah, l hearted them, too, until they signed to a major label,

and the lead singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life forever.

But that's just me.

Envy Adams is so cool. Do you read her blog?

Sorry, you were saying about me?

l mean, l've never gone out with anyone so talented.

Go out with a lot of guys?

No.

Yeah, so, whatever, man.

l've never even kissed a guy.

Hey,

me, neither.

Here you go.

So, this is your secret lair?

Yeah, yeah. Can l come in?

My secret lair is one of those

"No girls allowed"-type deals.

Okay.

But do you wanna see the house where l grew up?

Sure! Come on.

There you go.

Wow.

Yeah.

Wow.

Oh, God.

So alone.

You're not alone.

What?

You're just having some idiotic dream.

Does that mean we can make out?

Oh, God !