Cursed Friends

Anastasia.

Anastasia, if you can hear me,

send us a sign.

We have a visitor.

My hair!

Um, what the fuck?

Okay, demon, it's time for...

Ah!

Ah!

Shammy...

Felicem vesperam sanctam!

You bitches are so fucked.

We never should've played that fucking game!

- Oh. - Oh, watch out!

Move.

Don't get your outfit dirty, Joshy.

We need it to look good for the fall lip sync.

You guys, look.

Jeremy Fischbein is so freaking hot.

That's a sign for fingering.

He totally wants to shag you, Erica.

Yeah, baby, yeah. It's N'SYNC.

Hey, Erica.

Your costume is smoshing.

Thanks, Fischbein.

You too.

And cool impression.

Anyway, later. Yeah, okay, see ya.

That was the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen!

Oh, wait, let's do a dance to celebrate.

- Ooh, yeah. - Six, seven, eight.

Go Andy, go Andy.

- Yeah. - Go Andy.

What's this house dressed as, a nightmare?

Big house, big candy.

I don't know. It's pretty old...

Too much stone. And freaky.

Who's gonna do it?

I'll do it, you wimps.

Lame.

I say we peace out of this biatch...

What's up?

Chillax, homies. Welcome to my "crib."

Sorry to say I'm fresh out of sweets.

Th-that's okay.

We should probably get back to my house anyway.

- Yeah. - No, no, no!

I can't let you leave

empty-handed...

Not a group like this...

So sweet, so innocent,

so close.

I know!

How 'bout a book?

A book?

Jesus, I wanted Warheads, not fucking homework.

Happy Halloween.

Get out.

- Oh, hey, I'll trade. - Yeah.

What is this thing anyway?

"M.A.S.H." by Stacy Friendship?

It's an activity book.

What does that weirdo think, we're eight?

Hey, I know "M.A.S.H."

It's that predict-your-future game.

Ooh, it has a poem.

I wanna read it.

Mansion, apartment,

shack, or house,

predict your job, predict your spouse.

They key is in what friendship takes...

Can you predict when you're gonna die?

Gel pen me.

- Hey, I'm doing my own. - Oh, I wanna go first!

- Hey! - No, stop.

Okay, I'm gonna live in a shack with Jeremy Fischbein.

- Mm. - And have 100 kids.

I'm gonna live in a mansion.

I'm gonna marry Joey Fatone.

- Oh, you go, girl. - Oh, Joey.

I'm gonna live in a house.

So I'm gonna live in an apartment.

And I'm going to become a cult leader!

- I'm gonna be a pro wrestler. - I will have a pet snake.

The world record for the longest nails.

And I will be a gravedigger.

- Yeah. - I could see that.

And finally, I'm going to die by...

Hey, stop.

You smudged my board. Sorry, it's lights out.

Aw. Nighty night, N'SYNC.

It's okay... I know exactly

what our real futures will be...

BFFs forever. Core Three for life.

Core Three for life! Core Three for life!

Core Three? Learn how to count, morons.

Core Three for life! Core Three for life!

Core Three for life! Core Three for life!

Core Three for life!

Hmm.

Hi, welcome to Sub Conscious.

Do you want something? I can make it.

Rrrrramon can make it.

Sorry I rolled the R. I know you don't like it.

Ugh.

Candace Nicaragua, I simp for that cake, you bitch!

You don't even sweat!

Um, yeah, 'cause it's gross.

Yeah, sweating's for millennials.

Cheugy, sweaty fucks.

Millennials? Ew!

They, like, remember

where they were during 9/11.

- Ew. - That's so gross.

You got it, girl. Low...

Erica Greenspan!

Hi, Phoebe.

Look at you, and not on Zoom!

But still waiting for host

to start meeting. Welcome to the best coast.

I'm glad you're sitting down.

I really am, because are you ready for this?

I don't know, am I?

Oh, my God, that's my logo.

- Yeah. - You like it?

Uh, adore.

That's so great!

Um, this is probably very clear,

but I modeled the logo on the leaf

of the Brazilian herb you used...

- Really? - To give your tea

the sensation of cocaine without the cocaine.

Well, that is the Gravi-tea promise.

Cocaine! It's weird-

I couldn't find anything about it online,

so I reached out to a South American horticulturist and...

Whoa, okay. That's a lot.

Oh, wow, I'm going, like...

For a little green drawing?

- Yeah, I guess I'm a nerd. - Oh, no.

You've got this, like, rock star mentality

I feel like no one else here has.

It's honestly exactly why

I fired the entire design team on a mass email.

- Oh, wow. - Yeah, and I had to have you

come here IRL.

In real life.

Hey, uh, Phoebe. Uh, just circling back

on my idea to swap out the ping-pong tables

with an axe-throwing station.

Oh, my God, I love it.

- Yeah. - And you know what else

is a great idea, is, like, you paying the legal bills

for the unpaid intern who gets his dick chopped off.

Isn't that fun? Do it.

Go, make it happen.

That's my cousin, Lenny.

He ate my grandpa's cigarettes for years.

He's still actually on the design team.

Well, I hope that you... And especially, I hope,

your little Brooklyn boyfriend...

Love the sunny weather here, because I'm feelin' it.

Oh, Ben's here all the time for work.

He loves it out here and my family's here

and all my best friends from growing up.

Oh, my God, you're still tight with your old crew?

Ugh, the only way I stay in touch with my high school squad

is through, like, stupid memes and shit.

Yeah, that's fucking dumb as shit...

Yeah.

You know what?

We're having a Halloween party here tomorrow,

and I want you there.

The whole Gravi-Team is gonna be here...

Might be the perfect opportunity to officially spill

a little tea to the rest of the floor.

Oh!

- For fuck's sake, Lenny. - Spooky season, baby!

I swear to God,

if your mom didn't give us our seed money,

I'd fucking... I'd kill him.

I'd literally kill him. I have a plan.

Wait, do you know

who Benicio Del Toro is? Um, yeah.

I don't.

Why would you bring that up if you...

Core Three is in the building!

- Hello! - Oh, my God!

- It's a unicorn! - It is!

- Oh, my gosh! - Please, I was here,

like, two years ago for Izzy's third birthday party.

- Oh, my God, Izzy's now nine. - Nine.

- Nine. - What?

That's impossible. Oh, my gosh.

- Yes. - That makes my baby five.

Oh, sorry.

I didn't carry a baby to full-term.

Um, my business,

Andy Leonard Fitness... um, you've probably heard of it.

Cool!