The Hail Mary

There you go. Don't drive.

-Right, right. -Right?

-Can you stand on your own? -Yeah.

I can stand on my own.

- Jake? - Yeah?

- Anything broken? - No.

Okay, goodnight.

Don't drive.

Ooh. Oh.

Oh...

Oh.

Oh good. Good, good, good.

All right, here we go.

Wait...

I'll just take a little nap.

That'd be good.

She said it would take one hour, and that was--

-Two and a half hours, actually. -Three hours ago.

-She's an underestimator. -I'm gonna have to call--

I called Elek Plumbing. They open at nine.

Sister Clara!

I know a woman who's not that happy!

Sister Clara!

Sister Clara!

-Good morning! -Oh!

Sister Clara.

Okay.

You need to tell me what's going on.

You said you could fix this.

"Happy the man who wanders with the Lord."

No, Sister.

Happy the woman whose school has heat.

Why isn't this fixed?

Well, when I can figure out

how to fix it,

I'll be able to answer that question.

Clara,

I have 75 teenage boys

who are refusing to shower

because the water's too cold.

Do you have any idea what 75 unshowered

teenage boys smell like?

They stink!

They stink even when they shower.

Thank you, Sister Margaret Anthony.

You make a valid point.

I know.

Can you fix this?

Or do I have to take extraordinary measures?

-Pray? -No...

pay.

- I need it done. - How about this?

I will continue working here, and...

you go do whatever you have to do until then.

But Kathleen.

God's timing is always perfect.

There may be something good that comes out of all this.

Why don't you focus on what that could be, hmm?

Hmm.

Okay.

Thank you.

Come on. Wake up in there.

- Let's go. - I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.

Open the window.

Hey man, what time is it?

It's time for you to show me

your license and registration.

No, seriously.

Buddy, I've never been more serious in my life.

You are a failure, Jake.

It's as simple as that, one big selfish failure!

And oh, and that's the fourth time this month

that you've used the exact same excuse.

And I'm sick of it!

- He'll be ready in just a few minutes. - -Sick of it!

Uh, is this normal?

When he speaks to Jake Bauer, yeah.

No, no, no! Don't.

I give you a chance when no one else will,

and you still have some apparent need to prove me wrong!

I think you're just reading way too much into it.

I just overslept.

Oh, good! Because you're gonna

need all of your energy

when you're looking for a new job.

Oh come on, please don't do this to me.

Jake, do you hear yourself sometimes?

Don't do this to you? I didn't do anything to you!

You're doing all of this to yourself!

You're the best employee I've ever had, Jake.

You can fix anything...

but yourself, apparently!

You're fired!

You're fired, go!

Go! Between employees

who don't show up for work, and clients who can't

pay their bills on time,

it's a miracle I can keep my doors open!

Oh, I-- I read that you have to break eye contact,

or this could go on for months.

Whatever it takes.

Sister Margaret Anthony, cou--

could you wait for me in the car?

Are you sure? I don't mind.

No, you're gonna hear me say things

that you shouldn't hear your Mother Superior say.

Ooh... Are you gonna swear?

No, I'm gonna beg.

Hey, psst. SMA...

This engagement is escalating quickly.

I'm gonna need a little cover fire.

When you get to the car, lay down

about 20 Hail Marys for me.

-Roger that. -Just--

All right, let's just keep this going.

Send in the next bit of bad news.

Sister Kathleen, Mr. Russell will see you now.

Oh.

Ah, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse.

So nice to see you, Mr. Russell.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women,

and blessed is the fruit

of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, mother of God.

Pray for us sinners.

Now and in the hour of our death.

Amen.

Well, how'd Mary do?

Are they gonna fix our heater?

Uh, that's a no.

There will be no heater fixing

-until there is bill paying. -Oh...

I guess Mary was busy elsewhere.

Yes.

She was probably worried about that guy.

Come on.

All right, you done it.

-It's gotta be... -Ha.

It's gotta be here, come on!

Oh no, no, no. Oh!

Oh no! No, no, no, Hail Mary.

Hail Mary, full of grace--

-What? -Are you a creeper?

What?

I already know you're a drinker, I...

smelled that when you walked past me.

Are you a liar?

Cheat? Are you wanted by the law?

Lady, I-- I don't know what's wrong with you,

but you have the worst timing in the world.

So I've been told.

But what we're dealing with here is God's timing.

Totally different thing.

I don't believe in God.

Well, good news.

He believes in you,

so that's working out fine.

Well?

Well, what?

Jesus said, "The harvest is truly plentiful,

but the laborers are few."

Okay. You're a heater repairman,

and according to Mr. Russell,

the best one he's ever hired.

Which makes you the best one he's ever fired.

So?

So you're jobless,

and I'm offering you a job.

See?

God's timing is always perfect.

-Lesson over. -Okay, uh, listen.

Wha-- You got a heating problem, you take it up with him.

Hmm.

Mister Bauer.

He won't give me any more credit.

I don't blame him. I owe him too much money.

The students are cold, and my sisters are cold.

And we need you, Jake.

It's as simple as that.

I'm sorry, Sisters. I--

I should have told him to watch his language.

You know, from a grammatical standpoint,

it's been a very impressive oration.

I've never actually heard that word being used as a--

a noun, a-- a verb, and a pronoun

all in the same sentence.

He's done it!

Thank God!

Wait a minute.

I wouldn't do the victory dance just yet.

This thing, it's a monster.

You gotta tell your maintenance man to pay more attention to it.

Sister Clara does the best she can.

Sister Clara?

This is your job?

I like to think of it more as a penance

than a job.

Uh, English please, Sister Signe.

Mother, the boys are fighting again!