Aquaslash

I want you so bad, baby.

I can see that.

Who'’s there?

No one'’s here, baby.

No one'’s here.

No reason to stop what you'’re doing.

No, I don'’t like it. I feel weird.

All right, I got a super idea.

It'’s gonna make you freak out. Come on.

Okay.

Been saving this baby for you, baby.

Double trouble, lover.

Yeah.

- What the fuck? -

Please, no!

No! Please! Please!

Hey, lovers, I thought I told you

not to fuck up my weekend with your ugly-ass faces.

Dude, we'’re not gonna miss our own grad

'’cause you say so, dick.

Nice guitar, man.

Yo, I can'’t believe this.

Our last weekend together,

and I have to listen to this shit?

You guys know you suck, right?

Put the guitar down, Phil.

Or what, man?

Or nothing, man.

Why do you have to be such a fucking douche all the time?

What'’d you call me, Chip?

It'’s Chad. God, what did we ever do to you?

Music sucks.

Kick his ass!

Yeah, kick his ass, Phil!

Kick his ass! Kick his ass, kick his ass!

Pick on someone your own size, Phil.

There'’s nobody my size, princess.

Let him go, Phil,

or I'’ll tell everyone about your ugly,

tiny, malformed, wart-infested, limp dick.

Oh, shit, is this thing on?

Later, assholes.

We did it, bitches!

Valley Hills fuckin'’ High, Class of 2018!

All right, everyone, listen up.

The grad committee, headed by none other than moi,

have worked hard to make this a weekend to die for.

Head right to the slides or check out the motel.

But don'’t forget.

The bonfire starts at sundown,

and we'’re getting live music by The Blades!

'’80s style. Fuck yeah!

Cringe!

Remember...

partying here'’s a tradition since 1988.

Can we not fuck it up for the future alumni?

It'’s all about the three C'’s, people:

courtesy, control and consent.

All right, people, let'’s get lit!

- Whoo! - Yeah!

It'’s exactly what they said. Six feet.

Look at this.

This is our big stage?

Better than the stage at your high school, I bet.

Holy shit. You scared me, dude.

Just trying to be friendly.

Welcome to Wet Valley Water Park.

I'’m Conrad Carter. I make everything work here.

All by yourself? How old are you, man?

You wanna find out, kid?

Hey, I hope you guys aren'’t gonna be playing

any of that electronic dance shit tonight.

Nah, we'’re gonna be playing hits from the 1980s.

Probably your favorite.

Really? The '’80s?

I was here opening day, summer of '’84.

This park used to be something back then.

Go!

It was alive.

Really? That'’s not what I heard.

Didn'’t people die here? The Wet Valley Murders.

Murder?

Come on, kid. Accidents happen, huh?

Okay, so you'’re saying nobody died?

Dying and being murdered are not the same thing

is all I'’m saying.

- Dark, dude. - Don'’t get me wrong.

I'’m riding high. This is the best weekend of the year.

Listen, you guys need anything else,

just give me a holler.

Power'’s over there by the machine room.

And have a good show tonight.

Keep your head on straight.

Why?

Well, once in a while,

things can get a little bent around here.

Good morning, ladies!

For the past 12 years,

Wet Valley'’s Water Park annual car wash

has become a tradition.

Each year, we raise thousands of dollars

and send two lucky graduates to Europe.

Who wants to go to Paris?

Ooh! This car is so dirty.

Let'’s get washing, ladies.

Kim!

Kim!

Where'’s Kimberly?

Tom, you should be at the slides.

- Don'’t tell me what to do. Kim! - Stop!

Where is she, Priscilla?

Who knows, who cares?

Get out.

Whatever.

Kim! Wow.

So you did it.

Did what?

Graduate, moron.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, barely.

You still play?

Yep, yep, still do.

Obviously.

So what you doing here?

I mean, is your school partying here too?

Oh, no, I work here.

Yeah, I didn'’t go to another school

when I ditched Valley Hills.

It'’s just not really my thing right now, you know?

It'’s cool.

I'’m really glad to see you. I missed the time--

Missed what?

Oh, Tommy, hey, this is Josh.

He'’s an old friend from school.

Tommy. I manage this place.

You must be proud?

Babe, I'’m hungry.

Dude, she'’s hot as fuck.

Shut up, Slim.

I think I'’m hungry too. You guys in, huh?

Hey, Michael, it'’s me your son.

You know I'’m graduating today, right?

Well, if you care to, you can show up at school at one.

Otherwise, I'’ll be at the old Wet Valley Park

for the weekend.

I'’m also playing music tonight with The Blades.

It'’d be cool if maybe you'’d show up.

Fuck you, Baywatch!

Kim, I'’m shutting it down.

Two fuckers are coming down with a bottle.

What?

You have to wear my glasses.

Oh.

Ooh.

Who wouldn'’t want a piece of that?

Damn. Hot as fuck. Who is she?

Priscilla Wilkinson.

Graduate class of Valley Hills '’92.

So you guys went to school together?

Yo, shut the hell up, man.

No, seriously, Phil.

For how many years now you'’ve been trying to graduate?

He can'’t count that high.

- Yo. - Fuck!

There are no more teachers to protect you, dick.

When you least suspect it, I'’ll be right behind you.

Right where you like to be.

- Do you wanna die? -

- Fuck. - Oh, my God.

I heard she chooses one guy every year.

A guy? To do what?

To fuck.

Have sex, you idiot.

What, you live under a rock?

She'’s The End.

The End?

The tag in the second floor bathroom, that'’s her?

Yeah. The road to virginity ends in The End.

Oh, my God. No way. You'’re still a virgin?

Me? No way.

- Fuck, dude. -

Would a virgin do this?

Hello?

Hi, Michael.

Just making sure you'’re dying to see me.

8:00 still good?

- Yeah, definitely. - Okay.

Bye now.

Bye.