Mr. Pickles

Murderer! There's a murderer right there.

Freeze, murderer. Oh, that's just Garcia.

But he's a murderer.

He has "murder" tattooed on his face.

Oh, he's no murderer. In fact, he's my buddy.

Right, Garcia?

What's up dude?

- Yeah. - I got to go, Sheriff.

All right. I'll see you at lunch later.

Hmm, looks like Garcia is a...

- Rat! - Huh?

Get it off of me. Get it off of me.

Ow!

Have a good day, now.

Mr. Pickles.

There you are.

Good boy.

S03E06 Tommy Goes to School

Hmm. The school got a new flag.

Um, what is school?

Uh-oh.

The school year started 6 months ago.

Why hasn't Tommy been in school this whole time?

Who are you again?

I'm Principal Garcia, and this is my schoooool!

Uh, we just had a lot going on.

Bye, Tommy.

Come on, Mr. Pickles.

Unh-unh-unh. No dogs allowed.

Dinosaurs lived either or 4,000 or 65 million years ago.

Both theories are equally valid.

Children! This is Tommy. He doesn't know anybody, so...

I know those bullies. Hi, bullies!

- Shut up, Pumpkin Head. - Yeah Pumpkin.

Knock it off. And remember, tonight is the 1st grade dance.

So, find that special someone, or live a life of despair.

Oh! That's Suzie, the girl I like.

I'll go to the dance with Suzie.

Tommy? I'll decide who I dance with.

You've got a lot to learn, Tommy...

like how dinosaurs did exist and didn't.

Both theories are equally valid.

She'll never go to the dance with you, Tommy.

- Why not? - 'Cause you're a nobody.

Huh?

- See, you're a nobody, like us... - Hi.

The bottom of the social pyramid.

Suzie's a regular kid, right in the middle.

She'll never dance with you 'cause you're not at her level.

How do I become regular?

You'd have to work your way up from a nobody to a freak...

Ha-ha. Look at those nobodies.

Move, freaks, this is nerd turf.

Nerds to goths. Headbangers. We're better than goths.

Headbangers to class clowns, to bullies, to magicians, to...

Who are they?

The cool kids.

They're the top of the social pyramid.

To get to their level, you have to go through the jocks,

the preps, the robots...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna ask Suzie to dance again.

- You can't. You're a nobody. - Suzie, hey. It's me again.

Tommy, what are you, a bully?

Yeah, that was awesome. I now pronounce you "bully."

Watch out... bullies.

Well looky, looky here.

Nice office, Garcia.

What are you guys doing here?

I told you, I'm done with the gang.

You got too much dirt on us...

Yeah!

And we know you're buddy-buddy with the sheriff now.

- Yeah! - What?

Sheriff just comes by school for lunch every day. That's all.

Well, as an insurance that you don't rat us out,

we need you to whack-a the sheriff.

- Yeah. - What? I can't do that.

But you still have "murder" tattooed on your face.

I've changed. Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a dance to prepare for.

- Huh? - Dance? Who cares about a dance?

It was 1st grade.

The girl I wanted to dance with left me,

so I turned to a life of violence.

But I have left that life for the children.

Then whack-a the sheriff,

or we'll listen to all your dance music.

- No! - Pop all your balloons.

- No! - And drink all your punch.

No! Those are for the children!

Now, children, there are all kinds of art.

Whee!

Come on, Tommy, let's pee on this goth's art project.

Yeah, pull out mine, and I'll pull out Tommy's.

- No! - Tommy! I can't believe you bullies.

Even this is art.

Suzie, will you please dance with me?

Tommy!

You might be a bully, Tommy, but even this is art.

Suzie, wait. I'm not a bully.

My science project.

Cool.

Come on, Tommy, cool kids to the front.

But I'm not cool.

- Whoa, Tommy, you look cool. - Who wants Salisbury steaks?

- Me, me. - Sheriff...

Oh, sorry. Cool kids first.

- Sheriff. - Yeah, what's up, dude?

I need your help.

Some guys from my past want me to kill you.

Sorry, off duty, lunch break.

- Here you go. - Oh, boy.

Mama always me a sculpture of Salisbusy steaks

in the shape of my own head

'cause Mama says I'm so yummy.

Oh, yes, I am.

So, how's it feel to sit at the cool table?

This is nerd turf. Dorks sit over there.

What would be cool is if Suzie would dance with me.

Cool kids don't dance with regular kids.

- They're beneath us. - Maybe Tommy's right.

What?

I've already danced with the coolest girls.

I'll pronounce Suzie cool and dance with her.

No!

- Hey, regular kid. - What?

Will you dance with...

Hey! I wanted to dance with Suzie.

This calls for a Salisbury Steak Challenge.