Mom

You two have any plans this weekend?

I have to work Friday and Saturday, but I have Sunday off.

Oh. Bonnie?

Nothing much going on. Why?

Well, I was thinking maybe Sunday,

we drive down to Chowchilla and visit Regina in jail.

Oh, this Sunday.

Oh, gosh, you know,

I promised Roscoe that he and I would...

Wait. No. I promised him.

Both of us, actually. Both of us

- as a family... - Together.

...promised that we would, uh, take Roscoe

- to the thing that he wants to do. - Yeah.

- What's it called? - Moo... The movies.

Right, the movies.

That's lovely. Want to try again?

Oh, don't make me go to jail.

I hate it there.

Regina's been locked up an entire year.

Have you even visited her once?

Excuse me, but I have had my own share of problems.

You know, we were homeless, Violet gave her baby up

for adoption, Alvin died.

No, no, I get that one.

Alvin died.

Yeah, and I have cancer, and I visit her every month.

Again with the cancer.

This woman is a friend of ours.

You helped her get sober.

She was there for you when you relapsed.

Yeah, but isn't going to visiting her

like rubbing her nose in our freedom?

Mm. That's true.

“Look at us, not having to trade cigarettes for tampons.”

Yeah.

Or kisses for soap.

8:00 a.m., Sunday. You're driving.

Excuse me.

Okay, I know why I don't want to go.

I'm a horrible, selfish person.

What's your story?

I'd rather not say.

Oh, come on, she's got a tiny bladder.

She'll be back in 30 seconds.

All right.

Remember the box of cash Regina entrusted me with?

Yeah?

She shouldn't have.

What did you do?

Don't blame me, blame the Green Bay Packers.

Oh, Christy!

All year they cover the spread

except for the one weekend I needed them to.

So you not only gambled away all of our money,

but also Regina's?

Okay, first of all,

I gambled away Regina's money six, seven months

before I blew ours.

And let's not forget...

Regina stole that money.

What's your point?

I don't want to see Regina.

Mom - 02x16 Money and a Woman Named Mike

So, what time you think you'll be back?

It'll probably be late.

- How late? - I don't know-- 9:00 or 10:00.

So... 9:30?

Oh, just use a condom and don't smoke pot in the house.

Oh, God,

I feel terrible.

Might be the flu.

I really want to go see Regina,

but I think I should go to the doctor.

I think you should go to acting classes.

What?

Get dressed. I'm not doing this alone.

Fine, whatever.

Roscoe, your dad's here.

Morning! You remember Candace.

Hi, you.

Hi.

Come on in.

Oh, thanks.

Oh.

We're hugging now.

Yeah.

Christy, your house is so cozy.

It must be super easy for you to keep it clean, huh?

Or not.

So,

what do you guys have planned for today?

Oh, we're just gonna have brunch with Daddy at the club.

That's nice. What about your mother?

Yeah. What about her?

That's okay.

I have one of those, too.

I'm playing golf with her dad after.

I'm down to a 17 handicap.

Mm! I've known about your handicap for years.

I never knew it had a number.

And-and you?

Oh, my mother and I are visiting a friend

who's been going through a tough time.

Oh, I'm sorry. What's going on?

Well, the truth is,

she embezzled several million dollars, and she's in jail.

Wow.

You know, I've never known anyone who's been to jail.

Yeah, you do. You live with him.

Roscoe, we'll meet you in the car!

It's actually a very funny story.

- Oh, we'll talk at home. - Yeah.

You gambled away all her money?

Not all of it.

I used some of it to buy the NFL package on satellite TV.

Christy, she was counting on that money

to live on when she gets out.

I know!

That's why I've been saving, a little each month,

so she has it when her sentence is up.

How much have you saved so far?

Back off!

So...

how's Regina been doing in jail?

She had a rough go of it for the first few months,

then she seemed to find her way.

She got a wife?

It's prison, not a prison movie.

I think she might be banging a guard.

She still sober?

Oh, yeah. Even runs her own meeting.

I've been to it.

We get it, you visit.

I took the bus.

And you have cancer.

Next time you see a rest stop, we need to pull over.

There goes that tiny bladder.

They have vending machines where you did time?

Mm. We had a woman named Mike.

She got you anything you wanted, but you had to let her do stuff

that made her feel like her name was Mike.

I'll never forget my first night.

I was scared to death.

How long before you settled in?

Never did. Stayed scared the whole time.

Did you gang up?

Didn't have to.

My first day, I walked up to the biggest bull in the yard

and beat the crap out of her with my shoe.

Really?

Mm.

Wow.

Snickers?

Thank you.

Hey.

Nobody likes a drum solo.

Sorry. I'm just...

...really nervous.

I did something horrible.

So did most of the people in this room.

Do you think she's gonna ask about the money?

I would.

Regina's just going to be happy to see her friends.

And you.

There they are!

- Oh, hey, you. - Hey!

Oh, look who I brought.

- Hey, baby. - Hi.

- Regina. - Bonnie.

Ooh. Sorry I was late, but I got big news.

So does Christy.

What's your news?

I just found out I made early parole.

- I'm getting out in two weeks! - Ooh!

- Wow. - Man!

Your news just got more compelling.

You think I could stay with you until I find a place?

It won't be long.

I have some money set aside.

You can stay with me as long as you need.

Oh, thank you.

Christy, you okay?

You look a little whiter than usual.

I'm fine.

I'm just so... happy for you.

Oh.

Thank you, baby.

I've been talking to my lawyer,

and she thinks that in a few years,

I can get my CPA license back.

Till then, I can live off that money,

focus on getting my son back,

maybe find work as a bookkeeper...

You have no money!

What?!

I'm sorry.

I am so sorry.

What did you do?

Take off your shoe.