Mystery Date

- Hello? - Craig? I saw her again.

At the beach this time.

- Who? - Her.

- Her? - Her her.

Oh, the mystery girl. So you followed her to the beach?

No. She just appeared.

looked over and there she was

On her upper lip, there was this tiny bead of sweat.

It was her only flaw and I loved her for it.

All right. Now what did you do?

How did you, Tom McHugh, take control of the situation?

How did you seize the moment and make it yours?

- I waited. - you waited? For what?

For the perfect moment.

For the moment our eyes would meet

and she'd smile at me and there'd be a flash of unspoken understanding between us.

I was waiting for fate.

Tell me something, pal.

How long does all this take?

Hey, don't rush me.

When the moment's right, I'll know.

It'll happen. It'll happen.

- Did the landscaper come? - On Wednesday.

- Dr Lunsky, Mrs Lunsky. - Craig, I thought you were in law school.

Tom. Craig's winsome younger brother.

- you win some, you lose some! - Remind me never to let you operate on me.

Suzette, this is my son Tom.

Hi, Tom.

Tom's going to Yale to study Business.

Or I might join the merchant marines. I haven't decided.

I say, take a couple of years, figure out what to do with your life.

Yeah, a young man should follow his heart wherever it takes him.

Don't let us old coots dictate what you should do.

Of course, as an employer, I have a bias against hiring slack-offs.

4-5-7-8-9

3-4-5-7-8-9

3-4-5

As you all know, by this time tomorrow,

Betty and I will be in Connecticut along with a very special member of our family.

For four years, he has competed amongst the very best of the nation and

each time, he's come home a champion.

I know how grateful he is for your generous support,

but I think he could say it more eloquently than I, so what do you say, champ?

Saratoga Longshot?

There must be a way to find out more about her.

Hello?

Hi, Mom.

No, no, I canceled.

I know he's a doctor, but he's still boring.

Then you go out with him.

I'd rather be by myself.

Hang on a second, I heard something outside.

Tom, there's a couple of frozen pizzas in the icebox downstairs

and a fresh case of Bock beer.

- Keep your damn hands off it. - Yes, sir.

And don't forget about that list of chores we agreed on.

Please, get yourself a nice haircut.

- See you guys when you get back. - you bet.

Buckle up, hon.

Aren't you forgetting something?

Mom, I'm not gonna kiss the dog.

Goodbye, dear.

"Clean your room,

hang out the clothes, mow the lawn... "

- Craig. - Hey, buddy!

I thought you were in California.

Well, I decided to fly up and surprise you.

No kidding. We haven't seen you in ages.

- you know Mom and Dad took off? - Yeah. When are they coming back?

- Monday night. - Terrific.

This is beautiful.

1959 DeSoto Firesweep.

See the way it leans into the wind. That's the "forward look".

When this baby came out, the ad said, "Suddenly, it's 1960."

Wanna take it for a spin?

- Can I? - No. but you can pull it into the garage.

It's a push-button transmission.

D for drive, R for reverse.

Where's the P?

No Park. Parking brake.

- How did you get it here if you just flew in? - What?

How did you get the car here from California?

Chris Keslin drove it up during spring break. Grab that bag.

Any beer inside? you look like you could use one.

- Yeah, but Dad said... - "Hands off it!" Forget it. Tell him I drank it.

It's good to see you, Craig.

I see you've been putting my telescope to good use.

Tom, Tom!

Is the telescope inadvertently pointing at something interesting?

Is this the one you told me about? Your new girlfriend?

I'm working on that.

Tommy, come here. Come here.

I want you to look through this telescope. Go ahead.

It's pointing at a beautiful woman. Why?

Because you pointed it there, huh?

Not Mom, not Dad, not anybody else but you.

you know what you want. The hard part is over. Do something about it.

- I haven't even spoken to her! - That's all right.

That's all right.

What do you know about this girl?

She's house-sitting for some new neighbors.

She reads mystery novels. She doesn't seem to have a boyfriend.

Oh, Tom, she's waiting for you.

Fine, I'll go over and say, "Hi, I'm Tom. you don't know me,

but I've been spying on you for a couple of months

and I find you very attractive in a very hormonal way. "

Then she'll slap me silly.

There are worse things than getting slapped by a beautiful woman.

- Got her phone number? - I don't even know her name!

but you've got her garbage, right?

She's got a couple of Gourmet Lites. Couscous, grapefruit rinds.

you've got to get this girl some food.

Hello!

Tom, meet Geena Mathews.

In July, Geena bought S85-worth of lingerie at Nordstrom.

Very nice. Do you like lingerie, Tommy?

I've really only read about it.

Let's see. She reads mystery novels to escape, right?

She dreams of faraway, exotic places.

She's into surrealism.

She's trapped, Tom.

- Bingo. - She plays bingo?

Phone bill. Now we have her phone number. Let's go rescue her.

Craig...

- No, I can't do this! - Be yourself.

- I can't. - Then be me.

No.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello. Geena? Is this Geena Matthews?

Hi. My name is Tom.

No, no. Tom McHugh.

That's because we've never met.

I'm a neighbour. I live on Sunnydale.

I don't name the streets, just live on them.

Listen, I keep seeing you everywhere I go.

First it was at Nordstrom, then the beach.

Then at that Dali exhibit over at the museum.

I had to call to ask you to please stop following me around. People are starting to talk.

Oh, you know, us.

Listen, Geena, to be totally honest with you,

I'm trying my hardest to ask you out.

It's gonna be a beautiful night.

It's gonna be one of those hot, tropical nights where anything could happen.

I fly back to California tomorrow.

Listen, what about this? What if I come to your house at 07.30?

If you don't open the door, I'll leave, promise. What do you say?

Great. Bye.

- We're in. - I'm not doing this. Call back!

- you just have to show up! - What if I blow it? This is too spontaneous.

- I need more time. - Tiger, tiger, come on. Relax.

Trust me, you'll be ready.

I want you to remember what Lord Olivier said about acting, "The key is sincerity. "

Once you can fake that, the rest is easy.

George Burns said that.

OK, I want you to clean it up.

but not too severe.

Think... Robert Mitchum.

N Out Of he Past

So basically, exactly like yours. Right?

Yeah.

Craig, listen, first dates don't work for me.

I hurry my jokes, I have car trouble.

Once I took a bite of pizza, the hot stuff slid off and burnt me.

Tommy, you're trying too hard.

Let her do the work, huh?

What do women like to do more than anything in the world?

Buy shoes?

Talk. They talk. So you listen.

That is the most important thing about women.

They like it when you treat 'em shitty and when you treat 'em well - they just want your attention.

Does it matter that I have 20-20 vision?

- I don't need glasses! - Hey, neither do I.

If women say they like mature guys, it means they like men in glasses.

It's the only difference.

The only problem with glasses is they fly off when a woman slaps you.

Don't flinch, take it like a man. Come off it smiling.

- I don't usually get slapped. - Really?

Happens to me all the time.

Come on.

A limo? No way am I showing up in a stupid limo!

Your convertible would be perfect. I promise I'll be extra careful.

you're right. It would be very cool.

but I can't. Really, Tom, it's been giving me trouble lately.

The top stick s, the exhaust system...

Why risk it, huh? I was hoping to borrow your car.

- My car? - Yeah, visit some of my old hang-outs.

Everything at Kory's is terrific.

Except for the wine list.

Just wave your hand and say, "A bottle of your best Champagne. "

"A bottle of your best Champagne?" How am I supposed to afford Champagne?

This is brand new.

Sign my name so the signatures match.

And I will give you some extra cash for tipping.

Always tip well.

but only when your date is watching.

Hi. I have a flower delivery for a Mr, uh... McHugh.

you're 20 minutes late... Dwight.

I'm sorry, sir. I misjudged the ride over.

I usually take a different route.