Iron Man 3

A famous man once said,

"We create our own demons."

Who said that? What does that even mean?

Doesn't matter. I said it because he said it.

So, now, he was famous

and it's basically getting said by two well-known guys.

I don't, uh...

I'm going to start again.

Let's track this from the beginning.

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- (people laughing) - (indistinct conversations)

- (honks) - (chuckling)

Half hour till the ball drops.

- Hey, do you wanna... - Tony Stark?

- Great speech, man! I got you, pal.

I gave a speech? How was it?

- Edifying. - Unintelligible.

- Really? - Mmm-hmm.

It's my favorite kind. A winning combo.

- Where are we going? - Uh, to town, on each other.

Probably back in your room

because I also want to see your research.

Okay, you can see my research,

but that's... I'm not gonna show you my "town."

Mr. Stark.

Ho Yinsen.

Ah, I finally met a man called "Ho."

- (chuckles humorlessly) - Come here.

I would like to introduce you to our guest, Dr. Wu.

- Oh, this guy. Hey. - Mr. Stark.

- (greets in mandarin) - You're a heart doctor.

She's going to need a cardiologist after I...

- Bye. - Perhaps another time?

It started in Bern, Switzerland. 1999.

- The old days. Mr. Stark!

I never thought they would come back to bite me.

- Why would they? - Oh, wow! Hey, Tony!

Aldrich Killian. (stuttering) I'm a big fan of your work.

- My work? - Who isn't? He means me.

Well, of course, but, Ms. Hansen,

my organization's been tracking your research since year two of MIT.

Yeah, we're full.

Oh, wow, he made it. He made the cut.

What floor you going to, pal?

Well, now, that is an appropriate question.

The ground floor, actually,

of a proposal I'm putting together myself.

It's a privately funded think tank called Advanced Idea Mechanics.

- Uh... - She'll take both.

One to throw away and one to not call.

"Advanced Idea Mechanics" or "AIM," for short. Do you get it?

- I see that, because it's on your T-shirt. - Aw!

Ladies, follow the mullet. Ladies first.

Thank you, I'll call you.

I'm titillated by the notion of working with you.

- Yeah? - I'll ditch these clowns.

I'll see you up on the roof in five minutes.

Just gonna try and get my beak wet real quick.

You know what I'm talking about?

I'll see you up there.

Damn betcha.

Come on! I thought that was just a theory.

Well, it was.

If I'm right, we can access the area of the brain

- that governs repair... Wow.

...and chemically recode it.

That's incredible. Essentially, you're hacking into the genetic...

...operating system...

- ...of a living organism. - Exactly.

- Yes. - Wow.

Is that... Can you...

- What? - Can you not touch my plant?

It's not... She doesn't like it. She prefers...

She's not like the others. Come on. Let's go in the bedroom. Happy.

- Hmm. That's cute... - Leave her ficus alone.

- Because... And, no, seriously, don't. - And you're starting with plants.

For now, yeah. Huh.

I'm calling it EXTREMIS.

- Well, it's... Human application.

Exactly, exactly.

- Dendritic revitalization. - It's revolutionary.

- Disease prevention... - Change the world.

...even limb regrowth.

You're the most gifted woman I've ever met.

Wow.

- In Switzerland. - Hmm. That's better.

- Aw, you're seeing things. - This week.

You almost bought it, didn't you?

- (explosion) - (glass shattering)

This is what I'm talking about, the glitch.

Have you checked the telomerase algorithm?

- The what? Down!

Stay down! Stay down, boss.

- We're good. - Stay down.

You... You're... You're right on me. I made it.

What the hell was that?

(people outside counting down)

- What was that? It's a glitch in my work. It's...

She was just talking about it. Glitches happen.

It's not Y2K.

- (people outside cheering) - Hey! Happy New Year!

Happy New Year. Happy New Year.

All right. I'll see you in the morning. Good night.

You good? - Yeah.

I'll be right outside. - Okay, cool.

So, why am I telling you this?

Because I had just created demons

and I didn't even know it.

- Yeah, those were good times. - (door closes)

Then I moved on.

After a brief soiree in an Afghan cave, I said good-bye to the party scene.

I forgot that night in Switzerland.

These days, I'm a changed man.

Forty-six.

I'm different now. - (Tony groans)

I'm... Well...

Forty-seven. You know who I am.

Ow!

Sir, please may I request just a few hours to calibrate...

No. Forty-eight.

Micro-repeater implanting sequence complete.

As you wish, sir.

I've also prepared a safety briefing for you to entirely ignore.

Which I will.

All right, let's do this.

DUM-E.

Hi, DUM-E.

How did you get that cap on your head? You earned it.

Hey. Hey!

What are you doing out of the corner? You know what you did.

Blood on my mat. Handle it.

Sir, may I remind you that you've been awake for nearly 72 hours?

Focus up, ladies.

Good evening, and welcome to the birthing suite.

I am pleased to announce the imminent arrival

of your bouncing, bad-ass baby brother.

Start tight and then go wide.

Stamp date and time.

Mark 42. Autonomous prehensile propulsion suit test.

Initialize sequence.

Jarvis, drop my needle.

(funky christmas music playing)

Dashing through the snow

In a one horse open sleigh

O'er the fields we go

Laughing all the way

Bells on bob tails ring

Crap.

Oh, what fun it is to sing

A sleighing song tonight

Jingle bells, jingle bells

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

In a one horse open sleigh

All right, I think we got this. Send them all.

- (grunts) - (clanging)

Probably a little fast. Slow it down.

- Slow it down just a... - (crashing)

...little bit.

Cool it, will you, Jarvis?

- (record scratches) - (music stops)

Come on. I ain't scared of you.

I'm the best.

As always, sir, a great pleasure watching you work.

I guess 72 hours is a long time between siestas.

I didn't think it could get any worse.

Then I had to go and turn on the TV.

That's when he happened.

Some people call me a terrorist.

I consider myself a teacher.

America.

Ready for another lesson?

In 1864, in Sand Creek, Colorado, the US military waited

until the friendly Cheyenne braves had all gone hunting.

Waited to attack and slaughter the families left behind

and claim their land.

39 hours ago,

the Ali Al Salem Air Base in Kuwait was attacked.

I... I... I did that.

A quaint military church

filled with wives and children, of course.

The soldiers were out on maneuvers.