School of Thieves (Scuola di ladri)

A thief!

You rascal! Are you trying to steal?

Officer! A robbery!

Can't you see I'm working?

I got you now!

I'll break your arm!

Nobody has ever stolen anything, here.

Sir! You dropped this.

- It's yours, right? Goodbye. > A robbery!

Officer, shoot! Not her, shoot at the car!

- What? - Shoot! - That one?

Yes, at the car.

I missed it.

- Shoot! - Again?

- Dalmazio Siraghi? - Yes. - Your uncle Aliprando wants to see you.

Who is he?

Easy! Damn you.

Easy!

You sons of bitches!

Don't pull!

Calm down! I always wait for you when you piss.

When I piss, you create a ruckus!

Excuse me

- Yes? - I'm blind.

- I see. - I need to go to the toilet.

Could you help me?

- What do you mean? - Could you watch my dog?

A guy from Barletta, he had no arms, he once asked me to, you know...

Get it? ... Don't worry, I'll watch your dog. You can blindly trust me.

I'm sorry.

Watch the step.

There's another one.

I'll give you your dog.

- Here. - Thank you. - You're welcome.

Easy.

Those are proper dogs, not like you lot... Crap!

Mr. Blind! Mr. Blind!

Are you also deaf? There's been a mix-up...

Easy! There's only bread and tomatoes today.

Damn.

Stay calm, I'm not sharing!

- Siraghi Amalio! Oh my lord! The blind man had to go to the toilet...

...he asked me to watch the dog... - Your uncle wants to see you.

My uncle?

Easy! Which uncle is this? Aliprando Siraghi.

He must be from mom's side.

But I don't have any uncles! Who's this guy? Aliprando...

You bastard! You all do it on purpose! Go fetch it then!

- Do you have lighters? - Shop opens at 8. Sorry.

Fuck you!

You won't pay if I get fined, would you? Competition is fierce, here!

Goddammit.

There you go. Please come again. This is my turf.

I paid the concession. This is my turf. Thank you.

Goodbye!

Thank you!

- The competition! - Come on, boys! - No!

This is our turf, we paid the concession fee.

Do you ever go to school? Illegals!

Mine!

It's full of mosquitoes.

Tissues, ice creams, sandwiches, lighters, lucky horns!

1000 lire, please!

- Egisto Siraghi? - Yes. - Your uncle wants to see you.

- I don't have any uncles! - Your uncle Aliprando.

Aliprando? Let me see.

"Aliprando Siraghi, Honorary Prince of Labour". No!

Slow down!

"Truffle guy"! Stop the car or I'll die!

- Would you like to see this? - Thank you.

- Siraghi! - Here! - Here I am.

Your uncle is waiting for you. Follow me.

After you.

- He said "your uncle". - The surname is Siraghi.

I'm Egisto Siraghi

- I'm Dalmazio Siraghi. - I'm Amalio Siraghi.

So we're related!

Your mom owns that greengrocer shop...

... In Milan, Via Torino? - No, in Via Procaccini. - Yes.

- You mom was from Mola Di Bari. - Yes. She was a maid in Barletta.

May we... ?

Hello? Good morning.

Please.

Please, be seated.

Sit down.

Quick!

Egisto, Amalio, Dalmazio... My dear nephews!

We haven't met before, but you three are my only descendents.

Three poor excuses of a man, three derelict wretches...

... hopelessly condemned to eternal poverty.

But I, your uncle Aliprando...

... will make you rich, like me. Look around.

What you see is the fruit of years of hard work,

which I can't keep on doing, due to unfortunate circumstances.

So I decided to employ you as business partners. Happy?

- Well... yes. - But what should we do?

Because we don't...

- Pardon? - Stealing.

- Taking stuff away? - You think you can get rich...

...by staying honest? Are you honest? - I am, they...

- Are you rich? - No. Really, I...

And you have no hope of ever being rich. I'll teach you the best job in the world...

... it can yield big, tax-free profits without any risk.

Excuse me, I'm familiar with it. I'm a security guard.

I'm sorry, Uncle, but I think there are risks to this job.

No! Because you're not born a thief. You become one.

With method, dedication, and professionalism.

So I decided I would teach you the tricks of the trade. Agreed?

We would agree, but...

Please, speak one at a time.

We were thinking, honestly speaking...

Should I translate what he just said?

In Italian. And clearly spoken.

You have to CLEARLYSPOKE.

So... dear uncle, clearly speaking,

I think we all agree. - Good!

But when are we supposed to begin...

...this.... this job?

After an adequate training period, of course. Nero!

You have a month to turn these three human carcasses...

... into perfect crime professionals!

Agile, quick, brave, efficient! Three true thieves!

That's the window for the apartment you need to rob.

You need to use grappling hooks. Let's start with...

Take a step forward to volunteer.

Good! Come on!

Go, Egisto!

I can't stop! Stop me!

> It hurts!

I did it!

Next test is climbing down a rope from a window.

Take a step forward to volunteer.

- Over there! - Where?

Good! But he always volunteers.

They do it on purpose! I go here and they...

Come on, Amalio! Remember, climb down very slowly.

- Slowly? - Yes

I said slowly!

How are you doing?

You were in my... trajectory...

I'll move. I'm sorry! Please be.. I'm sorry.

I threw it... it disappeared. Boom! You see?

I'm not that familiar with it.

I'm going.

Again?

All right. Throw!

You were there... I'm sorry. Please be patient.

I'm throwing it, then.

Who is it?

So, Egisto...

- You're connected to 800 Volts. - Why?

For your public transportation pick-pocketing test.

Any contact with a sensitive spot on the mannequin...

... will cause an electric discharge. Look.

- Are you mad? - Brace yourself!

It's the usual daily grind!

Look! I did it!

Well done, Egisto! You've got a velvet hand!

Hold on tighter to your wallet next time!

Amalio, are you ready for the interrogation test?

Yes.

You did a hit with Giovanni.

- Who's Giovanni? I don't know him. - It's a made up name, we're simulating.

Oh! simulating!

The police caught you and you're being interrogated

- While simulating, right? - Yes. I'll be the police.

You must not name Giovanni, whatever I do to you.

Hey! Let's level with each other here.

Let's look at each other's face. What does it mean?

You have this physique... they say that people of color...

- I wouldn't want... - Speak, you bastard! Who do you work with?

No!

Who was there with you?

Who was there with you?

Well done. Congratulations.

- You've resisted. - You almost killed me!

I would have never named Giovanni.

You fell for it!

I make bastards like you spit out their teeth!

Take the rifle!

Load! Aim!

Fire!

Quick! Hide everything.

- Mine, mine! - Mine, mine, mine!

Careful with the plane now. Fire!

My dear boys, you passed all the tests.

I am proud to inform you,

that starting today, you are certified thieves.

And thus, my business partners! Congratulations! Well done!

Thank you, uncle. We need to talk about a delicate topic.

- We... - You're right, the money.

We'll deposit the proceedings from our burglaries in a shared account...

... and we'll split it equally at the end of the year.

Excuse me, uncle. We are four people, so you mean 25% each?

No, I said equally. 50% to me...

... and the other 50% split among you three.

- I'm sorry, but... you're a THIE-- - Excuse me?

He meant to say that we don't know how much we'll make from this job.

That depends on you. If you apply method and determination...

... we could reach a yearly revenue of 5 billion.