Jamilia (Жамийла)

Jamilia was an open-minded, sincere and clever girl.

She's been kidnapped and married to a man she didn't love.

Her husband goes to war,

and she falls in love with Daniar.

She's happy with him.

Well, this is the end of the story.

She elopes with Daniar.

This is a girl who fights for love.

She was a young Kyrgyz who had willpower.

We like her so much.

She has chosen her life.

She has found love.

In women's opinion, she made the right choice.

In Kyrgyzstan, all women support her.

Choosing a husband is not easy.

If girls would get married to men they loved,

they'd be happy.

A Kyrgyz girl would be constantly quiet.

She would never unveil her feelings.

I don't know if it has changed today.

Girls have to accept when a man proposes to them,

even if they love another man.

It's in the Kyrgyz blood.

A girl cannot speak out when it comes to love.

She has to try with a man who loves her, maybe she'll like him too.

How did it go for you, Grandma?

A girl can be kidnapped.

She'll be in a state of shock. Her family won't know it happened.

Once settled in her new home,

the father and the mother may dislike her.

She may dislike her husband.

That's why there are so many divorces.

I've been kidnapped.

A man kidnapped me.

I barely knew him.

She married my younger brother.

The groom's parents get ready,

and tell their son to kidnap the girl.

Sometimes, they met before.

But if they didn't meet and if the boy likes her,

he's still allowed to kidnap the girl.

If he likes her, it's okay,

even if she disagrees.

He doesn't ask for his opinion. He just kidnaps her.

We could fill a whole book with our regrets.

I got divorced 15 years ago.

Jamilia encouraged women to be determined.

At that time, we'd say:

"A woman is like a stone: she falls and sticks to the ground."

Tchinguiz Aïtmatov encouraged Kyrgyz women

to be determined.

That's what I think.

He meant we must not always respect traditions.

Jamilia obeyed love.

"Jamilia sat in the shade of the bales of straw,

"and, as if afraid of being alone, she'd call to me.

"I always expected her to tell me something important,

"perhaps explaining what it was that troubled her.

"But she did not.

"Silently laying my head in her lap, she gazed into the distance,

"ruffling my bristly hair

"and gently stroking my face

"with trembling, hot fingers.

"I would look up at her, at her face so full of vague anxiety and yearning.

"Something was gathering and maturing in her soul, seeking an outlet.

"And she was plainly frightened by it.

"After all, she was my family's daughter-in-law,

"my brother's wife."

My name is Nurzat.

I'm 37 years old.

I work as a laboratory operator at the hospital.

I'm in charge of the laboratory.

I have 3 children.

I'm married.

My husband doesn't work.

I picture Jamilia as a dark-haired girl,

beautiful,

thin,

with long hair.

I also think she was stupid

because she didn't think before acting,

when she eloped with Daniar.

If she'd thought twice,

she'd have waited for her husband.

One has to think.

When a husband didn't come back from war,

we'd wait for the death notice.

After a year mourning, you could remarry.

She'd have been remarried to her husband's younger brother.

Leaving was the wrong thing to do.

She shouldn't have expressed her love, even though it was intense.

I could not do that.

My mother-in-law has been very hard on me.

I prayed for not giving birth to a girl.

Life is very hard on girls.

In this house, I lost peace.

I wished I had only boys.

Life is easy for boys.

They go out, then in, then sleep!

I am proud I had three sons.

At Jamilia's time, women were free.

When Jamilia was out in the fields,

thrashing wheat,

she thought about Daniar, she removed her scarf,

she put it around her neck and then ran away.

We weren't that free.

When we wanted some rest,

we'd take two buckets, we'd go to the spring,

and we'd sit there.

Back home, our kids were crying.

Our mother-in-law would order us to do chores.

That's why we'd go to the spring.

We'd pay a visit to our parents every three months.

We'd cry, then go home.

Jamilia's times were freer.

There were hard times though.

Now, it's a bit better.

Young wives go wherever they want, dress as they want.

Tolkunbek!

Boil some water, my son.

I suffered more than Jamilia.

Could I be Jamilia?

I felt closer to her

when I was 23, when I got married.

Today, I'm 30,

and I know that...

that love is...

that one needs love to live.

I was offered many potential husbands.

I could close my eyes and get married,

but I can't.

I reject proposals every day.

I actually just met someone.

But I turned him away and I came to see you.

I cannot say

I fully support Jamilia.

She did the right thing for herself,

but not for others.

He was five years older than me and came from Turkey.

He was handsome, and had an inner beauty too.

I thought so intensely about him that it was painful.

I missed him every minute.

He asked me to help him because he couldn't speak Russian.

I started helping him out.

When I got in 3rd year I knew I was in love.

He felt the same.

Until my graduation, we gave it a lot of thoughts.

How would we manage?

I cried every day.

Why was this happening to me?

I was in love with the wrong guy. Why?

He was a Muslim, but for my parents,

it was impossible to let me live that faraway,

in a country they'd never know.

I cried when I thought about it.

And I was even more in love with this man.

I even told my mom I had fallen in love with him.

My mom didn't agree.

She'd never let me marry Murat.

I wanted to elope with Murat, like Jamilia did.

But my mom was crying.

I couldn't turn away from my relatives.

I let him go.

I still work at the same place.

If he comes back, he'll find me.

My parents married me to a schoolmate.

I was not in love with him, I didn't even like him.

I did everything I could to protect my family.

But this man didn't love me either.

He had married me under his parents' pressure.

I'm from a decent family. I'm well-taught, beautiful, clever.

We just didn't love each other.

We had a dull family life.

We eventually got divorced.

When I call my parents,

they ask news from me.

If I met someone, if I'm about to be married.

They interfere into my emotions, into my intimate life.

Sometimes, I'd simply like

to be like other young women:

to close my eyes and get married.

I'd like to be able to marry someone I don't love.

But I can't.

When I think about Murat,

I remember his love, his words, his eyes.

I remember everything.

I know I have to live and get married.

But in order to do so, I need to feel a flame.

I came to understand that I...

I couldn't live without love.

Dearest Mom,

you are the one who takes care of me

May I stay very healthy

May you stay healthy too

I'm already a mother,

but I will always be your child

You sigh and you ache

when I turn away from you

You are my talisman

If I make mistakes you show me the right path