Fargo

erstwhile on fargo...

Mom home? Yeah.

Let's eat. I'm starving.

fbi.

I called a couple times now

About the fargo syndicate massacre.

I might know the fella responsible.

Jesus.

This is where you work now.

I have a commendation.

I give you insurance salesman of the year,

Lester nygaard.

So proud of ya, lester.

Oh, miss?

Can we have some more sparkling water?

And this is any animal: Pig, gopher, chicken.

They go long enough without sleep,

You start to see abnormalities, behavior-wise.

First there's the inability to concentrate

And perform certain fine motor skills.

Then you start to see--

And the army did studies on this in the '50s--

The effects of sleep deprivation on the human brain.

I know 'cause a buddy of mine's dad was a subject

Back during the korean conflict.

I mean, shit, ray.

What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?

Five days for me.

This was back in dental school.

Marty perlmutter stole a prescription pad,

Wrote us all a scrip for amphetamines,

So we could cram for finals.

And boy, howdy, I tell ya,

After three days of no sleeping,

I was an animal.

All right, mi amigo.

That ought to do it.

I'm still a little worried about the 203 and the 204,

So we should make an appointment to get together again

In about six months.

Appreciate it, doc.

Really.

This black fella rolled over my foot

With a steam cleaner, and I tell ya,

This hurt worse than that did by a long shot.

Yeah, nerve pain-- that's a bear.

Oh, uh, you want to avoid nut brittles for a few days

And any kind of fruit with pits.

Jemma's got a pamphlet.

All right. Okay.

Yo.

Mick mike.

We still on for golf next week?

Course we are, burty burt.

But more importantly, are you and louise

Still gonna make it on Sunday?

Do dogs smell each other's butts?

I think I might have observed

That type of behavior on occasion.

well, we'll be there.

Weezy's making her famous five-bean dip.

Aces.

[the lemon pipers' green tambourine plays]

Here.

Oh, thanks, babe. Mm-hmm.

Oh, mick mike.

I just keep pinching myself.

well, honey, you've earned it.

It's like my mama always said,

"boys, if you like the milk, buy the freakin' cow."

Oh, that's so sweet.

Well, I am gonna stick my whole thumb up your ass later.

Aces.

Yello.

Hey, hey.

Now, darling, is this guy bothering you or what?

oh, you.

We are gonna tie one on tonight, friend-o, I'm telling ya.

No time like the present. That's what I always say.

Yeah. The bean dip?

You betcha. Ooh.

Let's go, burt.

oh, you look great.

You too. Oh.

Ice wine.

Buddy of mine says they swear by this stuff in finland.

Well, they're a bunch of sex-crazed alcoholics,

So they should know, right?

Sweet. Mm.

Weezy says, uh, you popped the question.

You gonna make jemma an honest woman, huh?

Oh, yeah, I cried like a baby.

I'm not afraid to admit it.

Well, she's something else, that jemma.

Just between us girls,

That body, is it... I mean...

What's she like in the sack?

Hellcat.

It's the only word for it.

Shit. Yeah.

Weezy's basically a jew in the bedroom.

Oh, you mean she wears a wig,

Makes you do it through a hole in the sheet, yeah.

No.

No, no.

She stopped putting it in her mouth

Soon as the ring went on her finger.

Well, that's a national tragedy, burt.

amen.

Gotta tell you, mick mike,

I sure do like having you around.

Well, likewise, burty burt.

The office was dead dull till you showed up.

Positively geriatric.

I'm a rascal.

There's no two ways about it.

yes, sirree, bob.

Like I told you before, you and my brother

Would get along like gangbusters.

Well, I'd like to meet him. Yeah.

Like I said, it's tricky--

He, uh...

He's in witness protection. Say what?

Said he's in witness protection.

Turned states evidence against these mob guys out of chicago.

Told him not to.

Now I haven't seen him in over a year.

He still calls, though.

Not supposed to, you know,

But you can't break up the canton boys.

I'll betcha.

Aw, screw it.

What are you doing next weekend?

You tell me.

I like that. "you tell me."

Well, weezy and me, we're headed for vegas

To a little family reunion.

Why don't you and jemma tag along?

Aces.

you did this to me.

I had a wife, a family.

I was happy, and then you started--

started what?

All we did was talk.

no, that's not--

No, you said things, jumbled me up.

Told me I needed--

And now they're dead.

Why did I listen to you?

Why?

Oh.

Tell my wife

I love her.

so I come in and sit down.

"hi, I'm dr. Michaelson." you know, the whole drill.

Oh, honey, could we get some more sparkling water?

Thank you.

I put my mask on.

Tawny hands me the number two needle.

I start to give the guy a novocaine shot.

Well, I stick the needle in my own finger.

And, yeah.

And it hurt,

But I didn't wanna look dumb,

So I try it again.

Next time I stick it in my thumb.

Now I'm so flustered that I go to take my mask off.

But I'm still holding the needle,

Jab it right in my face.

And the patient-- the patient is like,

"uh, doc, what's wrong?" and I'm like...

I mean, it was insane.

you're a riot.

He's a riot.

Oh, you have no idea.

Oh, boy.

All right, so...

We are all set for tomorrow

To go see you-know-who.

Should be fun.

Real clandestine stuff.

Change cars twice. No phones.

Jeez, who did you say is after this guy again?

Well, what are the odds?

Sorry?

It's me, lester.

I'm sorry, sir, you must have me confused with someone else.

Nope, minnesota, last year.

The emergency room.