Lost Christmas

I heard a dog.

Did you? Must be outside.

Dad!

We were going to hide him till tomorrow but...

he didn't want to go along with the plan, did you?

Happy Christmas, sweetheart.

What are you going to call him, love?

I don't know yet.

Hey there, boy.

Do you want to take him out?

Come on, then.

Let's go. Get some clothes on.

Hey, boy.

What, sick? 'Apparently he's on his deathbed.'

Yeah. What, again?

Yeah.

No, of course.

Yeah, in ten. In ten.

Right, cheers.

Sorry, Goose.

I'll make it up to you, I promise.

Linda, I have to go into work, love.

Honey, have you seen my keys? No, sorry.

I can't find them anywhere.

Er... Goose, have you seen my keys, mate? No, Dad.

Oh, Lind, you're going to have to drive me in, love.

Really?

He'll be fine.

Yep.

[ MUSIC: "Wonderful Christmas time" by Tom McRae ]

Ah!

Hey!

No, it's too sad! Ah, ah!

Take Langford, it's quicker.

Know-it-all!

[ MUSIC: "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday" by Wizzard ]

You all right, mate?

Hey.

Anthony?

You OK?

It's snowing.

Not in Manchester, mate. It just rains.

A monkey.

Snowing.

With an angel's head.

Snowing monkeys?

Yeah, I'll watch out for them!

Hey! Mutt.

Come on, Mutt.

[ MUSIC: "Stop The Cavalry" by Jona Lewie ]

What you doing, Nan?

Well, it's not going to cook itself, is it, darling?

That's the washing machine, Nan.

Oven's there.

And it's only Christmas Eve.

Christmas Eve? Yeah.

Nan!

I'll help you...

...tomorrow.

I will.

Oh, and put it back in the fridge.

All right!

Please stop. Please.

Who is it? It's me.

Come on, Frank, it's freezing.

I'm coming.

Silly little...

Nice pants. Thanks.

What have I told you before? No dogs.

Oh, come on. He'll freeze to death here.

Look, I've got the hangover from hell, all right?

Besides, I've just tidied up.

OK, Mutt. Won't be long.

Tidied up?

Still no luck, then? No, I've looked everywhere.

I tell you what, Goose.

If I didn't have bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.

Come on, then. Let's see what you've got.

It's mint.

It's plate. You can pick these up anywhere.

Yeah?

You all right, pal?

Don't think so.

Oh, yeah. Why is that, then?

I don't know.

I think maybe...

Maybe I'm not... here.

Hear that, Millsy? Fella ain't here.

Millsy. Windmills.

Windmills go backwards, forwards, in Ireland.

Bit early for that, is it not?

Yeah, been drinking... paraffin.

Used to make chewing gum.

Not from Manchester, are ya? No.

Don't think so.

He don't know where he's from.

Check your wallet.

Got... Ooh, matches.

Matches?

A sock.

More matches. Must be a heavy smoker.

Poker chip.

Pez. Pez.

And... that's it.

Is that gold?

How did you do that, you madhead?

Don't pull, you numpty. You'll break the strap.

Come on.

This stuff's all right but, I mean, this is rubbish. You what?

How many times have I got to tell you?

No-one wants a straight mobile any more.

Not unless it's a free gift with one of these.

And this... You serious?

I'll give you 50 quid, as it's Christmas. For the lot?

It's a fair price. It's not.

It's not, Frank.

What are you doing? I'm going to go see what Kermit'll give us.

Now, you listen to me, you stay away from Kermit.

You understand?

He's a nutter.

You can't tell me what to do, Frank.

You're NOT my dad.

All right.

I'll give you 70 quid. 100.

80.

I want a 100.

You haven't really got the hang of this haggling thing, have ya?

All right. I'll give you 100.

But you have got to promise me to stay away from Kermit, all right?

Promise?

Go on, then. Get out of here.

It's all there, Goose.

You're the one who always said count it.

Yeah, but I didn't mean with me, though, did I?

What are you doing tomorrow? Why?

Come on over, if you want.

Can't guarantee the turkey will be cooked but it'll be clean.

I don't know. I've got things to do.

Thanks, though.

Mutt?

Mutt?

Mutt?

Mutt?

Have you seen my dog, mate? He's white, with a black patch.

No, I'm sorry.

Mutt?

Mutt?

Have you lost something? My bangle.

I must've dropped it when I was out earlier.

And I was wondering if that's it.

Can you see it?

The lady's lost her bangle.

A snake, gold.

A gold cobra.

Quiver. Sorry?

A quiver of cobras. A murder of crows.

A pomp of Pekingese.

A quiver of cobras?

Is that what they're really called?

I think so.

You sounded like you knew.

All these things on the tip of my brain.

Bangle. What are you saying?

Ah. Scissors.

Invented by Leonardo da Vinci.

Well, thank you for trying.

The wedding. He gave it to you at a wedding. How can you...

There's a garden. It's your garden.

A boy comes in...

Comes in through the window.

And he takes it.

He takes the bangle.

How could you possibly know?

I don't know.

Mutt?

Mutt?

Mutt?

What are you doing?

That's an odd question.

You're going to work? Yep.

Today?

There's someone I have to see before the holidays. Henry.

It'll only be an hour or two. Fine. I'll go on my own, then.

Don't be like that. I have responsibilities.

What about your responsibility to me?

To Milly?

Look, if I'm running late, I'll text, meet you there.

OK?

Bye.

Mutt?

Mutt?

Oh, have you seen my dog, Stu? No, Goose. Sorry, mate.

All right, young man?

I'm Anthony.

An-tho-ny. An-tho-ny.

I am An-thon-y.

Anthony. I'm Anthony.

Mutt?