Attack the Block

Hi, Mom.

Sorry, I couldn't call sooner. Haven't had the chance.

No, I'm just walking back to the Hat. My shift ran over.

Loads of kids with firework burns.

How's Dad?

What about next weekend?

I could take the train up, stay the night.

I'll call you on Sunday. We'll make a plan.

Gotta go now.

OK. Bye.

Go on, man.

Hey, cut across her.

Oh, fuck.

Give me the phone, give me the phone. Give me the phone!

The money, the purse. Give me the purse, give it to me.

Don't fuck about.

Hey. Please.

- Give me that ring. - It's not worth..

Shut up. Wanna get murked, innit?

- Stupid.. - Get off me!

- Oh! - Oi, what?

- Boy, you're too brave. - Quick, fam, 'fore the feds come.

Fuck the feds, man.

Take it.

Look, man. Look.

Fuck!

- Oi, she's duckin'. - Hey, fam, she's ghostin'.

- Allow it. - Somebody's bombin' us, blood.

- No, man, it's just a firework. - Some big firework.

Nice whip. Could be bare valuables in there.

Raargh!

- Shit. There's something.. - Whoa!

What the fuck was that?

Some orangutan type thing, I'm not even lying, bruv.

Hey, it's breezin', man. It looked like Dobby the house elf.

Moses got shanked by a Dobby.

I'm chasing that down. I'm killing that.

Watch.

- Payback, fam. - I'm proper stampin' that.

- It's gone in adventure. - Round two, bruv. Round two.

Playtime, bruv.

I got my tool.

No man stunting. I'm gonna fuck this thing up!

Yo, you got beef now, Moses.

- Yo, Pest, got them bangers? - Yeah.

Jam, man.

It's mine.

Hey, back me! Back me!

- Ah, no, man, that is rank. - Hey, we broke it up.

- What is that, cuz? - That ain't no is. That's a was.

I told you, some exotic creature, like a monkey thing.

That fell out of the sky. You trying to tell me it's raining monkeys?

That ain't no monkey. Monkeys ain't bald.

No, that's some weird thing. I don't know what that is.

- I ain't even gonna say. - You know what that is?

I'll tell you what that is. That's a alien, bruv. Believe it.

It must have come from outer space, trying to take over Earth.

But it landed in the wrong place.

The wrong place!

- Welcome to London, mo fucker. - Welcome to the ends, brother.

This is the block. And nobody fucks with the block, do you get me?

The B-L-O-C-K.

Brap. Brap. Brap. Brap. Brap..

- You all right, love? - Not really.

- Do you live here? - Yeah.

- Come along, I'll take you home. - Thank you.

Come on.

You poor thing. Pale as a ghost, you were.

Must have given you such a nasty shock.

- You sure you don't want a cup of tea? - No, thanks. Water's fine.

Bloody fireworks.

I think they should ban them.

Could be the third world war out there, you wouldn't know the difference.

What did the police say?

Said it was one of the busiest nights of the year. Bet they don't even turn up.

Only it's not like the kids are scared of 'em no more.

Walking around with knives, great big dogs, like they own the block.

Excuse my French, but they're fucking monsters, ain't they?

Yeah. Fucking monsters.

- Its ribs and that. - Have you found anything?

I beg you give me two pound to go to Chicken World, fam.

That's disgusting.

Moses, where are we gonna take that thing?

Take it to Ron's. He watches that National Geographic shit.

All man ever does is blaze,

water them big buds and watch the nature channel.

He'll identify that thing for real. Let me bell him up.

It was madness, fam. The beast of Brixton.

We were crazy kicking that.

No, Mom. Playing football.

Yeah, I had pepperoni pizza. You gave me the money.

Some kind of non-found-out-about creature.

Yeah, like Some Gears Of War thing.

Yes, I know. Back by ten. I swear, Mom, back by ten.

Ah, she's a nurse. They don't get paid nothing, fam.

Oi, Moses. Why you always picking the poor people, man?

- Hey, let's walk, bruv. - Whoo!

Woy.

- Moses, what happened to your face? - Battled an alien that fell from the sky.

- You're funny. - Eurgh, what is that?

I'm sorry, I can't even look at that.

- Halloween was last week. - That ain't real. That's a creation.

- Touch it. - Shove that thing in my face

and them fangs are going up in your tits.

- Move it from me. Grow up. - Could be diseased, you get me?

I don't want no chlamydia.

So you're telling me that fell out of the sky?

- Yeah. - And did that to your face?

- Yeah. - So, you killed it?

Yeah.

Such a bad breed, Moses.

Fuck! It's alive!

- Tia is moving to you, Moses. - She's on your balls, cuz.

Hey, that's my cousin you're chatting about.

- Hey, man. - Hey, hey, hey, watch this jump.

Get down, man.

- Trust, I can do it. - Humpty-Dumpty.

We ain't cleanin' your guts off the floor, Biggz. Come on.

- Oh, I swear I could do that. - Yeah, yeah, sure you can, man.

- Oi, Gavin, you pyro. - My name ain't Gavin.

It's Mayhem and he's Probs.

Probs and Mayhem? Seriously?

- Urgh, what is that? - That's none of your business.

That's sick, man.

Where you going? Let us come with you.

Yeah, Moses, let us roll with you. We're bad boys.

Go away. This is big man business. You're too tiny.

Yeah, get in touch when you get your first pube.

Go suck your Mom.

- Oooh! - Whoo!

Whoop whoop, that's the sound of da police

Whoop whoop, that's the sound of the beast

Whoop whoop, that's the sound of da police

Whoop whoop, that's the sound of the beast

Whoop whoop, that's the sound of da police

Whoop whoop, that's the sound of..

Hey, Dad.

Yeah, just on my way to the cinema.

Yes I promise, it'll be parked outside in the morning.

OK, Dad. Gotta go. Bye-bye.

I pressed it already. Taking 'nough time.

I'll.. I'll just.. I'll get the next one.

Express elevator to the penthouse suite.

Do you remember what they were wearing?

One of them had one of those woolly hats with those tassels.

The one that pushed me over, the main one,

had a black baseball cap with a red brim.

That's all I can remember.

Did you see their faces? Have you seen them around?

No. They had hoods and scarves.

You want me to call the police?

The best thing is to come with us for a drive around the block,

see if we can spot them.

Then we can drop you with a friend afterwards.

No, thanks.

I'm not gonna be scared out my own home by a bunch of bloody teenagers.

Yo, Ron!

Yo, Ron!

All right?

No idea. Not a bloody clue.

Maybe there was a party at the zoo and a monkey fucked a fish.

I saw them with it on the way up.

- Thought they'd won it at the funfair. - Smells real though, don't it?

Smells like a shit did a shit.

- You wanna buy a bit of weed, then? - Yeah.

Yeah, come on.

Shut up, man.

Well done, lads.

You've discovered a species hitherto unknown to science,

quite possibly non-terrestrial in origin, and you kicked its fucking head in.

- Take a seat. I'll be back in a minute. - Yeah.

We're getting rich off that, you know, cos we discovered it.

- eBay, fam. - Alert the media.

Exclusive rights to the highest bidder.

The Sun. Believes anything.

No, no, no, no, no. The Sun'll dress it up like one of them Page Three girls.

You wanna call The Guardian, blood.

- People will believe it in a proper paper. - No, tabloids pay more money.

You can't call the paper. FBI will confiscate it.

FBI? This is England, there ain't no FBI.

It's Section Six or something.

- We need an expert to verify that thing. - Look in the Yellow Pages.

Look for scientist people who know about all them meteor things.

Yellow Pages? Like, what, "A" for aliens?

- Cheers. - We need a lawyer,

a manager or something.

Bell Simon Cowell. Alien's Got Talent.

Jokes, man, jokes.

Actually, I did this zoology module at uni.

Primatology, mammalogy, all that shizzle.

That thing in there don't belong to no taxon I've ever studied.

You met Brewis, then? Very reliable customer.

Gwanin'.

Hey, move, blood!

Hey, hey!

Allow it, allow it, allow it..

- Yo, Ron. - You want a bourbon?

Let me keep that thing in the weed room. Could be worth bare money.

That's the safest place in the block.

Look, I'd love to, but it's not my decision. I only work here.