Glorious

Where are you?

I don't know.

You thinking about me?

Yes.

Always.

I can't stop.

You said I was different.

Improved by Sailor420

Hope you enjoy the sub-show

.

Fuck you!

You know, some things may seem broken.

But it usually just means you stopped trying.

Yes, sir.

May I?

Thanks.

You're gonna want clean off the back seat of your car

so you can sleep lying down.

Gonna make living on the road a whole lot easier.

Squeeze it.

I love you very much.

I love you.

I love you.

Why? Why?!

Ah!

Stop it. Just stop it.

Hi. It's Brenda. I'll call you back. Bye.

Hey, Brenda, it's Wes, obviously.

Just calling you again and leaving you a message again.

I just... I just needed... Wanted to hear your voice.

Stop it. It's done. It's done and dusted.

Just leave it. Put the phone away.

Hey, it's me again.

You know, um...

Fuck off!

Maybe you and I...

Oh, you little fucker!

Get it together, you pathetic piece of shit.

Yes.

Ah.

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Oh.

Oh, that's not... no.

Oh.

Everything all right over there, my friend?

Over here.

Is that all of it?

Yeah, I guess.

Are you sure?

Yeah, pretty sure I got...

That was it.

I didn't mean to disturb your thing there.

My thing?

You're focus on using the bathroom.

Ah. A bathroom.

Interesting. - Yeah. I guess.

As far as bathrooms go, you got toilets, toilet paper.

Usually.

There's that.

I'm assuming since I didn't get a good look on the way in...

...was kind of in a rush.

I'd say you're forgetting two

of the most important things here.

The two of us.

Huh? Yeah.

And if I'm here and you're here,

that means the potential for conversation.

So three things.

I don't really see conversation as being part of...

Seems like a good place for it.

It's quiet, private, and free from distraction.

I'm not much of a bathroom talker.

Okay?

I hope you don't mind me asking.

Are you recovering from inebriation?

Yeah. Piss stinking inebriated.

All by my lonesome at this rest stop here in...

wherever the hell this rest stop is.

It's a nice little statement on my life.

Oh, shit.

Something wrong?

Yeah, I just rubbed my face after touching the toilet

and God knows what else.

- That's funny. - What is?

God knows what else. What does it mean?

It's just another way of saying I have no clue what foul shit

is swimming around in my eyes right now.

Oh, well, in that case, fecal matter, vomit particles,

and the various remnants of semen,

as well as 127 different strains of bacteria.

Thanks. That's strangely specific.

Not at all comforting.

Would you like me to name them for you?

- Not really. - Very well.

There should be a sink out there if you want to freshen up.

God only knows if it works.

Sink's busted.

Oh. - Oh, dear.

Well, I apologize.

Don't worry. I'm not blaming you

unless you're the maintenance man or something.

Unfortunately, I am not in charge of

maintaining this establishment.

Right now, I just want to wash the vomit out of my eyes.

Remember, it's not just vomit.

Yeah, I got it.

Well, we've just had our first conversation.

Turns out you might actually be a bathroom talker.

You caught me on an off day.

What do you mean by off day?

I don't usually hang out in public restrooms

with no pants on.

Oh. So you're naked from the waist down?

No. No, I-I got underwear on.

You know, we've spoken quite a bit already,

yet we don't know each other's names.

That's true.

Well?

Wes. My name's Wes.

Very nice to meet you, Wes.

May I speak freely, Wes?

Uh, sure.

Would you mind stepping back into the stall?

Yeah. No, I'm good. I'm good.

You're not in the least bit curious

as to what I have to say?

I'm just not into conversations with random dudes

hiding out in bathroom stalls.

Yes, well, I wish I could do something about that,

but unfortunately, this is where I find myself presently.

You got like a stomach bug?

Some things are beyond my control.

Well, just hang in there, buddy.

I'm sure it'll work itself out.

I appreciate your optimism, Wes.

Okay.

Don't you want to know my name?

Uh, sure.

Now, in order to properly pronounce my name,

I'll need you to do two things.

First, stick out your tongue then grab the tip of it

gently between your first finger and thumb.

What the fuck?

Seriously?

I know it's a peculiar request,

but I promise it is necessary.

- Okay. - You're doing it?

- Yeah. - Very good.

I haven't had a chance to tell anyone my name for so long.

I'm very excited.

I'm glad I can help you out. Let's speed it up.

Okay. So you're holding your tongue?

- I'm holding my tongue. - Excellent.

Excellent, excellent. Now repeat after me.

Got another one.

- Got another one? - Slow it down a bit.

Slower and grip tighter.

Gha... ta... no... tho... a.

Yes, that's it!

- Ghatanothoa? - Yes!

What? Your... Your name is Ghatanothoa?

Indeed it is. Sorry for the theatrics.

I'm a bit of a stickler for proper enunciation.

It's fine, man. It's... It's an interesting name.

It's the name of a very lonely, very old god.

That's who you were named after?

So, like, hippie parents?

Not quite.

I am he.

You are who?

I am he.

I am that god.

Huh. Okay.

So, what is this, some weird role playing shit?

It's like a larping session.

Do I get to pick a god name, too?

How about Thor?

Would you like me to call you Thor?

So you're a god living in a rest stop bathroom in a stall

that's glory hole adjacent. Is that it?

I suppose in some mythologies, you could say demigod.

Titan would be more accurate, but those are human constructs,