The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit

How are you, Bill? Hi, Tommy.

What's with you and Betsy?

Couldn't be better.

Uh, look. Did you say something to me the other day about wanting to make a change?

Oh, well, not exactly.

What I said was that I like it at the foundation okay,

but I'm having a little trouble making both ends meet.

The reason I ask-- i hear there's a spot opening up...

In public relations where I work-- united broadcasting.

What would it pay?

Oh, I don't know. Eight, 10,000, I guess. Something like that.

Well, I could certainly do with eight or 10,000,

but I don't know anything about public relations.

Who does? You got a clean shirt.

You bathe every day. That's all there is to it.

Oh, I guess not. Thanks just the same.

You're probably right.

I don't think you'd be very happy in that chromium jungle anyway.

Tommy!

Well, how was your day?

Not too good, I'm afraid. No?

For one thing, the washing machine finally conked out.

Well, can't you have it fixed?

Not anymore. It's really gone this time.

How much does a new one cost?

About 250. Wow.

And Barbara's got the chicken pox.

Oh, my. Better stop at the drugstore.

I'll pick up a present for her. How's she feeling?

Happiest little polka-dotted girl in the state of Connecticut.

Hey, daddy.

Hi, Pete. You know what, daddy?

What? Barbara's got the chicken pox, and we're all gonna get it.

Oh, maybe not. But mama promised! Didn't you, mama?

That's what the doctor says. Here we go.

We're all gonna get it and stay in bed all day.

Huh. I can just see you staying in bed all day.

Janey says she's gonna take her rock collection to bed with her.

You come with me and help mommy fix daddy's dinner.

I'm gonna take Millie to bed with me.

Well. I've got the smallpox.

Chicken pox, honey. Don't make it worse than it is.

Are you sure you didn't paint those on there yourself?

Honest I didn't, daddy. Look. I've got 'em all over.

Well, if you say you didn't-- thank you, daddy.

How are you, sweetheart? Is she going to die?

Of course not. People don't die from chicken pox.

Did you ever have chicken pox?

I've had everything. How about you? I've been trying to remember.

You won't have to try long. You'll know in a day or two. That's what's worrying me.

You can go on down. I'll be down in a minute.

I think she's going to die. Will you stop talking like that?

And you can mix one for me too,

because I can certainly use it tonight.

I think she's dying now.

What do you think you're gonna do with him?

I'm gonna take him in bed with me. But he's filthy, petey.

I'm gonna wash him in the bathtub first.

Oh, janey gets everything! You never let me have one little thing!

All you do is take things away from me!

I'm gonna run away from here, and you're never gonna see me again!

I'm gonna run a million miles away!

And I don't care if you die!

I don't care if you die a hundred million times! I don't care!

Now listen, petey. I don't care if you die too.

I'm gonna run away from here this very minute!

Petey boy, have you forgotten that you and I are buddies?

I am not your buddy! I want you to die too.

I want everybody to die! Shut up!

What have we got around here-- a bunch of necrophiles?

Oh, they're all right. Just a little fretful.

Skoal.

Hello. Oh, hello, Alfred.

I tried to get you on the phone at the office, but you had just left.

It's about the estate.

I've just heard from the auditors,

and the news is a little disappointing.

I'll look it over again of course.

Is that final? That's all there is to it.

I see. Nothing left but that old house.

Well, thanks very much anyway.

Good night, Alfred.

You're gonna have to brace yourself for this one, honey.

Okay, let's have it.

That was Alfred.

He says there's nothing left in grandma's estate.

Nothing? Nothing but that old barn of a house.

And there's a $10,000 mortgage on it.

What about the money grandpa left?

- Apparently she lost it. -

Well, that's certainly one on the button.

What about the house? What do you think we can get for it?

I've already had one offer: 20,000. Twenty thousand?

That house must have cost 150,000 to build.

That was 50 years ago. Nobody wants an old rookery like that today.

Get the butter, will you?

It's one of the few houses in Connecticut that hasn't grown old gracefully.

You're gonna let them have it for that? What do you think we oughta do?

Well, if that's the best offer we can get--

good-bye. Good-bye, dear.

Send us a card when you get there.

I forgot my mittens.

I think we ought to hang on to it for a year or two anyway.

Till we can figure out something better than that.

Do you know what it would cost to keep up a place like that?

Something like 6,000 a year. On a $7,000 salary.

But you're not going to always be making 7,000.

That's what I mean. I could be making less.

But you can't look at things like that, Tommy.

You've got to believe that things are gonna get better.

Promotions, opportunities, some good breaks.

That's what life is-- hope and-- and the breaks.

You can't just accept the way things are now.

I think we ought to sell it, put the money in the bank for some insurance.

Did you ever stop to think what might happen to you...

If I should drop dead some morning?

I'll drop dead right there by you. What about the children?

I don't even want to think about that.

What I want to know is, you don't expect to be with the foundation forever, do you?

Well, of course not. But you've got to admit it's an absolutely safe spot.

All right then. What about this?

We sell grandma's house and this house too,

and we get us a nice house in a nice neighborhood.

So here we go on that again. But why not?

If we can make maybe 15,000 on this one and with what we clear on grandma's--

look, honey, don't you understand? I'm sorry, Tommy.

You know how I hate this house, but you don't know how much I hate it!

Its ugliness, its depression, but most of all its defeat.

Don't you feel that at all? Well, it's not exactly a palace.

It's a graveyard, Tommy. A graveyard of everything we used to talk about--

happiness, fun, ambition-- and I want to get out of it.

But if we put it all in the bank--

and go on living here for the rest of our lives? Maybe you don't know it,

but there are a lot of people who are doing a lot worse than we are.

Oh, no, they're not. They may look like it, but they're not.

There are things about this house. It's not a happy house, Tommy.

I don't think that's true. Ever since the war.

Will you stop harping on the war? It's been over for 10 years.

It's gone and forgotten.

I don't believe it. Not for you anyway. Whether you know it or not--

all I know is that i don't think this is any time to be taking chances.

Then if it wasn't the war, what has happened to you?

What do you mean, what's happened to me?

I don't know.

Except that you've lost your guts, and all of a sudden I'm ashamed of you.

Do you want another?

No, thank you.

How's that, pal? Thanks, old pop.

Good night, pal. Good night, old pop.

Is she dead?

Go to sleep.

Say, about that spot at U.B.C.

If you're interested, I can set up an appointment for you.

You wouldn't mind? No, not in the least.

Just let me know when. I'll call you.

Anytime you say.

Do you see those coats?

We'd better get back in the woods and cross the road further south.

We gotta get those coats, Hank.

Are you nuts? They got people all over this place. Come on. Let's go.

I'm freezing to death.

Danke schön, fraulein. Danke schön.

How many do you see? Two.

Well, if I don't get that coat, I'm dead anyway.

Okay, let's get 'em.

Ahh.

Fritz?

- -

Where's your gun?

Behind the wall.

I'll get it.

Come on. There's more of them coming.

He's not dead. He made some kind of a noise.

Finish him off then. Use your knife. We gotta get out of here.

Come on, Tom. We gotta get out of here.

- All right. Get out of the way. -

It's no use trying. I just can't get used to it.

Used to what?

The idea of the Brooklyn Dodgers as world champions.

My guys'll kill me.

I wonder how we could not tell 'em.

When do we take off, Captain?

It's all yours, El capitán.

We take off any day, starting one week from today.

We're all packed, Captain.

But it's not for home.

Are you kidding, sir?

It seems we got another little war out in the pacific,

and that's where we're goin' next.

Pacific? So what's the Navy been doin' all this time?

They can't do that!

Look, I don't know anything more about it than you do.

You know what us soldiers need at a time like this, Captain?

A tiny little blast of vino.

Un momento.

Wait a minute, honey.

Now you come right back here. You understand?

We don't want to have to start tearing this whole thing apart.

I will come back to you, baby.

Is this the post already?