Babysitter's Black Book

Besties for life, guys.

I don't want to think about it.

Woman: Times are tough.

Many of your families are hurting.

In today's economy, the companies that succeed,

they provide a service that people really need,

even if they don't know they need it.

Ah, Ashley Gordon.

Why don't you tell us about your class project?

Come on.

I created Family Buddies because, well,

I needed a project for this class,

also because I desperately needed the money for college.

We make it possible for parents to survive

and their kids to thrive, babysitting, tutoring, sports.

For exhausted overwhelmed busy parents, we provide relief.

I was getting more babysitting, tutoring,

family assistant jobs

that even a chronic overachiever like me could handle.

- Hey, kids. - Hi.

Did you guys drive Ashley crazy today?

- We tried. - You did?

At first, I recruited my friends,

matched them up with the right families.

Then we got referrals as far as 20 miles away

and we expanded.

So there are 11 of us working now,

including my three best friends,

Janet, our adolescent jock heartthrob.

What are you guys doing? Follow me.

They follow her anywhere.

Gilli, our videographer, for artsy kids, she's the best.

I love it, looks so good.

And, Rachel, our all-around star...

There's no request she can't fulfill.

Hey, Rachel, want to give me a hand in here?

You've got 15 minutes. I'll be back.

We're always booked and already looking for new tutors.

So, if you're interested, see me after.

See, she's responding to a real market need.

Now your next challenge is gonna be, how do you grow your business?

Is there any other services you can provide?

Think about it.

- Mm-hmm. - Harper, you're up next.

I know it's a tough act to follow, but you can do it.

Mr. Parks?

Oh.

I'm freaked about my essay for UC.

Do I write about our business and sound like a total nerd

or make up some mushy story about my time amongst the homeless?

Ash, you could write about your dog and still get in.

- I don't have a dog. - My point exactly.

I plan to write about my triumphs.

Athletic or sexual?

Oh, well, they are both sports,

and I play them the same way guys do.

All out.

I'm a rookie at both.

Okay. When are you guys gonna get in the game?

When I meet somebody worth playing with.

Ugh.

Apparently UC accepts over half in-state applicants to some college.

So at least we'll get in somewhere.

UC Merced, here I come.

I'm lucky my parents can afford tuition.

But without Family Buddies,

I'd be wearing Salvation Army clothing by sophomore year.

- Ew. - Well, sell your jewels.

I'll go to community college before I do that.

Yeah, if my parents can't help,

I will be playing math games with seven-year-olds for the rest of my life.

Oh, don't look now. Here comes your tallest seven-year-old.

Hey, Ash.

Hey, how'd the chem test go?

I got bitch slapped, C-minus.

- Ooh. - Sucks.

Coach says I can't play football without a B average.

I don't know, Daniel.

As your chem coach, I can't make you run laps.

But maybe if you trained a little harder on your homework...

Ouch. I've been spanked.

All right.

We're in the fourth quarter, and our chem team is behind.

Well, I don't have your smarts.

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

I'm no smarter than you.

I just work much harder.

So when can we meet?

Oh, I need a boost in geometry too.

Is there any way we could get together tonight?

Um, tonight's a no-go. I'm babysitting.

But call me. We'll figure it out.

Yeah, yeah. Thanks, Ash.

You're a lifesaver.

Yep.

- I'd do him. - ( laughing )

What the heck?

Family Buddies. Hi, Lois.

Yep. You are confirmed for babysitting with

Mrs. Donofrio Friday night.

Thanks.

How's Family Buddies?

Crazy busy.

Good. Busy, busy.

I don--I don't know how to say this.

I am closing my store.

Oh, no. Mom, that's awful.

What are you gonna do?

Well, um, there's no easy way around this, honey.

We've looked at this from a hundred different angles.

We have to tap into your college fund.

I know. It's awful. I get it.

But we're gonna pay you back.

I promise.

So... that's it, just--

just say good-bye to Berkeley or UCLA?

No, we--we'll--we'll take out loans, right, if we have to.

And you just might need to consider going to community college.

I know. I'm sorry.

We're sorry. We're sorry.

I know. It's awful.

I get it. We're gonna pay you back.

But we still own our house. I promise.

And use that--we have to watch every penny.

You get your prerequisites out of the way.

What-- What is the point of me busting my butt to get good grades?

I--I'm top of my class, and I'm gonna end up at community college?

I know. And we are very proud of you for your grades.

And I'm sorry that we're putting you through this.

But...

Ashley.

Woman: How many cups are in a pint?

- Two. - That's too easy

- 250. - Hey.

Oh, we're just working on Billy's fractions

and Cindy's metric conversions

and filling them with useless sugars.

Me want cookie now.

Don't do that.

What?

I got you a couple of things.

What?

Oh, my God.

Thanks.

Aw.

Thank you.

I hate them.

They want to know how I will benefit from

and contribute to their vibrant community.

What do I say?

Oh, they can be intimidating, but maybe Mark can help.

He's a trial lawyer, and he can convince anyone of anything.

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

Your college essay, it's your story.

You just have to convince them it's a great one, huh?

That would be-- that would be amazing.

Okay, kids. We're outta here.

Damn, you look hot.

How doou afford this?

Just between us, from Roger.

Roger?

Roger, as in Mr. Parks?

Why waste it on high school boys?

It's just sex.

And he pays me big time.

Shut up. You're getting paid to have sex while you're tutoring?

When daddy wants me, I give the kids an assignment.

It's 150 for going down on him.

300 for sex.

So that's how you get all the bling.

Didn't Miss Palmer say something about expanding our services?

I'm just taking Family Buddies to the next level.

You want me to hook you up?

I know for a fact Jack Wiley'd be up for it.

Really?

He's not the only dad.

I don't know. Screwing for bucks?

Suddenly, you're all moral?

You have sport sex with high school jerks for free.

Older guys are kinda hot.

One look at your tight young body,

and they'll empty out their wallets.

Use it before you lose it.

You shouldn't say stuff like that in front of me. No!

Ashley, what happened?

Oh, no, the kids are fine. Don't--don't worry.

Do you want to tell us what's going on?

My parents are using my college fund to pay our bills.

Oh, honey, I'm so sorry.

No, it's-- it's nobody's fault.

They're good people.

They just think that I should--

I should forget Berkeley or UCLA for now